chica_ny Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 My BF broke up with me 2 wks ago, right before NYE. His Grandmother died the night before NYE. He contacted me 11 days after our break up, last Sunday. He said that it's been hard on him, meaning the break up. It's been the worse week in his life.He said it was really hard for him to talk to me because he thought that I hated him. We were supposed to meet in person to talk about the breakup, but, his grandmother died. Anyway, this is what we talked about on the last conversation. We talked about what lead to the break up. We talked about why didn't we talk about our feelings, our misunderstanding of each other lead to the miscommunication between us. We both realized that we both love each other alot. But, he told me that it hurt him that I didn't trust him. That was the feeling he got from me. We were planning to move in together in July 2007. We were together for almost 2 1/2 years. We were both crying. He never cried in front of me and he admitted that he was crying when he was on the phone with me. It broke my heart. We also talked about our relationship and we agreed that most of it was good. It was really good. We were deep in love. But, when we broke up, he said that the "in love feeling was gone and he couldn't get it back". I said I wanted us to try again. He said he tried and couldn't go on pretending. It wasn't fair for me. He said that he will always love me and I said that I still do love him. Well, he said that he still wanted me to be in his life and I also felt the same way. We agreed to keep the communication open between us. But, he said he needs time before he can see me again. I agreed that we both have to heal from this. He said maybe we were supposed to meet and learn from one another. I said we have learned alot from each other and that maybe we were right for each other, but, the timing wasn't right. I think I was repressing my hurt from my last BF who hurt me a great deal. He cheated on me emotionally. We lived together and when we broke up, it was very hard on me. I got through that. Then I met my most recent BF a few years later and I was so happy that he was not a jerk. I had no expectations from him. I was so jaded to dating prior to meeting him. I also distanced myself from him in the beginning. I was almost 35 when I met him and he was 28. The age difference didn't matter to me or him. We fell in love, traveled, spent alot of time together. Learned about each other and still loved on another for the good and bad. He was going to break up with me before he decided he wanted to live with me back in Sept. He said that he felt that we were going in circles with our relationship and wanted to make a commitment to me and to live with me. For him it was a major decision, he never lived with any of his GFs before and he wanted to live with me. I was so happy. I never loved him more than that moment when he said that he was in love with me and wanted to live with me. It was a step forward in our relationship. Then he felt that I was not trusting him in the recent months. I didn't know he felt that way, he didn't tell me. I have to admit, I hold alot of my deep emotions inside and he wanted me to open up to him more. I said I would try. But, it was so hard because I didn't want to scare him away. The only way I thought about handling this was by not saying what I felt. I now realize it was the wrong thing to do. I can't change what happened. I just hope that I can get through this and not make these mistakes again. Maybe I got scared that he loved me so much that I didn't want him to hurt him. But, I did hurt him. He felt that I always had foot out the door in the relationship. I told him that I never wanted us to break up, I loved him. I guess he was protecting his own heart by turning his emotions off. I really didn't mean to hurt him. I still love him and I want him back, but, there is so much hurt that is between us now. I haven't spoken to him since last Sunday. He said to call him if I wanted to talk. I can't talk to him now. I think I will cry. We did get our feelings out in the open last week and I am still sorting things out in my head now. I don't know what to do, I know things will never be the same. I don't want it to be the same. I want it to be better. He forgave me and I forgave him. I just said to him that I loved him enough to let him go. It has been so hard. We both agreed that this relationship has been the best relationship we have both been in. I also had a dream with him last night. I have never dreamt about him before. It was nice, we were just hanging out and having a good time.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Have NC with him, let him be the one to come to you. Let your heart heal from him and when it does go out and date others. There is plenty other opertunity out there You had a good relationship experience with him, remember that, but remember the mistakes you made, learn from them for the next guy you date. Go out with friends and family, join a club, go to the gym, this will all help your heart heal and it may help you to see what other opertunities there are in life.
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