VeniceQueen Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 My ex has been contacting me nearly every day. I never initiate. He's sweet and funny and flirty. He'll even come up to me at school and put his arm around me and ask me how I'm doing. I'm friendly enough but I try to keep my distance as much as possible. It's hard though since I really enjoy talking to him. He IM'd me earlier today and it started off casual. Then he became really flirty and asked if I "wanted to come over and play." It was tempting, yes, since I really wanted him at the moment. But I knew I would only cause myself weeks of heartache and regret for only a few moments of pleasure. The best sex in the world couldn't fix our relationship. So I told him that I couldn't do that sort of thing with no strings attached and not feel bad about it later on. He chose not to be with me and it wouldn't be fair for him to still get that sexual part of me. He said he understood and hoped he didn't offend me. And that I was "always the smarter one." I was relieved that he respected my decision and didn't bring it up again. He later started talking to me casually again. I think he just got a little caught up in things. Eh, he's a guy. I know he was always very, very satisfied with the physical part of our relationship. But I know we can both agree that what we had was so much more beyond that. I know he misses me and still loves me, he even told me. He just can't seem to let go, judging by all this contact. He claims he hopes we can be friends. What does that even mean? I still love him just as much as I ever have. Maybe I'm foolish, but I would take him back. But only if he really sold me on it, only if he were willing to move mountains to be with me. Because I know that's what I deserve. Has anyone else been in this situation before? Why do exes do that? I know at least my ex respects me enough to not see me as "booty call." If he were to ask me again I would probably have to sever all ties completely.
luvtoto Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Don't freaking know. Wish I did. Why did you two breakup?
phyrespryte Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I think they do that because... 1. You've got a history and it seems easy 2. They can't find anyone else 3. They're so horny they've forgotten their manners 4. You let them think it's ok to act so fresh Why haven't you cut off contact with him completely? Did he ever answer that email you wrote him?
phyrespryte Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Never mind that last question. I think your ex is so rude.
magda Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I think they do that because... 1. You've got a history and it seems easy 2. They can't find anyone else 3. They're so horny they've forgotten their manners 4. You let them think it's ok to act so fresh Why haven't you cut off contact with him completely? Did he ever answer that email you wrote him? I agree, completely and totally. I don't want to be insulting, but no guy who misses you and loves you and gets on with you on such a deep, meaningful level classlessly invites you to "come over to play".
Author VeniceQueen Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 It's very complicated, why we broke up. It wasn't because of lack of love or there was another person involved. We let stress from outside issues leak over into our relationship, started fighting a lot over trivial little issues, and basically lost our appreciation for each other. We're young and have acted foolishly. Being young is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you don't realize what you have and take it for granted. I'm assuming you read my last post then, phyrespryte. I'm not condoing what he did at all. I was pretty pissed at how ballsy he was. You're right, he forgot his manners. He knows know, though, that I'm not going to do something like that and he'd just better not ask again. It was classless and stupid on his part. It was idiotic, but I don't think it means he has no respect or love for me. I think he knew, immediately after doing so, that it was wrong and he totally respected my decision. It did feel kind of good, turning him down. It was like "I know you want this but you can't have it! Ha!" I guess all I can do now is keep my distance and be a little less friendly. After all, you teach people how to treat you, and he's got to know I'm a stronger person than before and I won't deal with stuff like that.
luvtoto Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 It's very complicated, why we broke up. It wasn't because of lack of love or there was another person involved. We let stress from outside issues leak over into our relationship, started fighting a lot over trivial little issues, and basically lost our appreciation for each other. We're young and have acted foolishly. Being young is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you don't realize what you have and take it for granted. I'm assuming you read my last post then, phyrespryte. I'm not condoing what he did at all. I was pretty pissed at how ballsy he was. You're right, he forgot his manners. He knows know, though, that I'm not going to do something like that and he'd just better not ask again. It was classless and stupid on his part. It was idiotic, but I don't think it means he has no respect or love for me. I think he knew, immediately after doing so, that it was wrong and he totally respected my decision. It did feel kind of good, turning him down. It was like "I know you want this but you can't have it! Ha!" I guess all I can do now is keep my distance and be a little less friendly. After all, you teach people how to treat you, and he's got to know I'm a stronger person than before and I won't deal with stuff like that. I just wanted to tell you that I was impressed with this post. You gotta respect yourself before anyone else can respect you. You should be very proud of yourself. He was right...you are the smart one. If you ever need to vent about your feelings, please do so here at LS. I know in my threads, I vent alot. Helps me to work things out better.
Author VeniceQueen Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 Thanks, luvtoto! I really appreciate that. Yeah, I love the forums here at LS. After so many weeks I felt like my friends were sick of hearing about him already. And who could really blame them? The people here are nice, intelligent, unbiased, and very honest. I've gotten a lot of really great advice here and it helps to vent to people who can relate to my situation. It feels good to let him know I'm stronger.
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