the_alchemyst Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Yea, okay . . . this is kind of embarrasing (to the point where I considered posting this as a "guest" ), but I really want to know if what I'm feeling is strange or something. As some of you may know, my exbf and I were each other's "firsts" in just about every aspect. We met in our second year of HS. We started dating about 3 years ago, and unfortunately got caught up in an on-off relationship for about a year and a half. Today, despite the fact that I know I'm nowhere near "over him," I have come to the realization that he and I were just not "meant to be" or whatever--it just didn't and won't ever work, and it's best that I just seriously try my hardest to put that behind me. At least, this is what I'm trying to tell myself. The thing is that our sex life was great. I'm not trying to say that this is what kept us together, no; I just mean that it was well, pretty great. We had sex very often and in all sorts of ways, so it wasn't boring or anything. What I discovered was that I *loved* giving him oral sex. Yes, I liked to receive it, but I enjoyed giving it more. The thing is that at first, I wasn't really into it. I chalk it up to the fact that at first I didn't know how to do it properly, though. But yet, as time passed, I got to enjoy it more and more. Now, I wonder if I enjoyed doing that because I just personally enjoyed it or because I loved him and wanted to please him. At first, I thought it was both, but now I'm leaning more towards the latter because I cannot for the life of me picture myself enjoying doing this for anyone else. What I mean is that I just cannot picture myself ejoying oral sex or any other kind of sex from any other person. For example, there are these two guys in my classes that are really, really attractive. I was talking to another girl who thought the same, and she declared to me that she'd do them any day. And well, I thought about it too, and I pictured myself being intimate with them and I felt sick to my stomach. No joke. And these guys are very attractive--moreso than my exbf, I'd say, and very, very intelligent--waaaaaaay more that my exbf. I single these two attributes out because I don't know them, so these are the only things I can say based on seeing and listening to them in class. It's just weird. In a way, I can picture myself in another relationship, though given my introversion, I sometimes wonder if I will ever meet someone else, but I can't picture being intimate with anyone else and actually enjoying it. Why do you think that is?
Reckless Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Because sex is an extremely intimate act and since you admitted you are not fully over your ex you are just not ready to even think about being this physically close to someone else. Oral is so tied in to power and vulnerability exposing yourself and pleasing in a way that for most of us requires a high degree of trust. Your head ('scuse the pun) is just not there yet. Things will change in their own time - totally normal.
pricillia Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Yes give it time, you are not over him yet, you are still emotionally attached.
Porn_Guy Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Why do you think that is? cause you're still emotionally attached to whats-his-name. It'll pass, trust me...
pricillia Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 but really it is about pleasing the one you love... Maybe it's just me, but what woman sees an attractive guy and thinks hmmmm I would like to blow him? It has to do with the feelings of love and trust.... plus how pretty it is... LOL
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 It has to do with the feelings of love and trust.... women are all about the "feelings" and "emotions" and stuff.....men don't care about those things for the most part
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 women are all about the "feelings" and "emotions" and stuff.....men don't care about those things for the most part what do guys care about then?
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 what do guys care about then? nice breasts, ejaculating, football and cheeseburgers...
Pyro Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 what do guys care about then? Guys do care about that stuff. Its the selfish ones that don't care about that stuff.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I think it's often people who try and sound the hardest who are internally the most vunerable, but maybe I'm wrong.
Pyro Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Yes give it time, you are not over him yet, you are still emotionally attached. I agree with this.
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 nice breasts, ejaculating, football and cheeseburgers... Well all of these things give you a GOOD FEELING... no? so you care about feeling good... Yes? so you do care about feelings... liar:lmao:
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I think it's often people who try and sound the hardest who are internally the most vunerable, but maybe I'm wrong. do you think hitler fell in that category?
burning 4 revenge Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 do you think hitler fell in that category?definately
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 so you do care about feelings... liar:lmao: definately i disagree cause i don't care about someone's "inside" cause it doesn't affect me....their "outside" does
Author the_alchemyst Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 Ahem. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about going out and getting intimate with anyone yet, but sometimes I just wonder why it's so distasteful for me to think about doing so. Honestly, I always thought that I would only ever "be" with one guy. At least, that's what I wanted for myself. I don't belong in this time period. And then sometimes I think that for him--well, he wouldn't really care and just do it, and that kind of hurts. Oh well. I want to be a nun. A fib never hurt anyone, right? The only reason I thought this strange was because several other girls have no problem hooking up with whoever, and I just wonder if I'm just way too much of a prude. =\
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 The only reason I thought this strange was because several other girls have no problem hooking up with whoever, and I just wonder if I'm just way too much of a prude. =\ maybe your slutty friends and you are on two extreme poles. you should all meet somewhere in the middle. i.e. you become less of a "prude" and your friends become less slutty.
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 i disagree cause i don't care about someone's "inside" cause it doesn't affect me....their "outside" does really... what about if they are a good person or not... I think it is a combination of the two. So are looks the only thing that matter to you?
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Ahem. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about going out and getting intimate with anyone yet, but sometimes I just wonder why it's so distasteful for me to think about doing so. Honestly, I always thought that I would only ever "be" with one guy. At least, that's what I wanted for myself. I don't belong in this time period. And then sometimes I think that for him--well, he wouldn't really care and just do it, and that kind of hurts. Oh well. I want to be a nun. A fib never hurt anyone, right? The only reason I thought this strange was because several other girls have no problem hooking up with whoever, and I just wonder if I'm just way too much of a prude. =\ You want to be a nun? none of this and none of that? You just loved your man and that is hard to get over. I think that it is good that you won't just hook up with who ever, take some time to get over him and then move on. He will always have a place in your heart, but it does get easier.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 i disagree cause i don't care about someone's "inside" cause it doesn't affect me....their "outside" does But I was talking about thier inside. Hitler grew up with a dominant and emotionally abusive father. Then he trecked out to Vienna to find his salvation in art, only to be rejected for his lack of talent. He was unattractive and unsuccessful with women. By the time the First World War came along he was desperate to find a way to justify his existence and prove himself. Supposedly he took to trench warfare like a fish in water. In the post war chaos of Germany, Hitler found his dissatisfaction and alienation were popular sentiments. Many people were angry for many different reasons, but Hitler found he had an ability to channel that anger and focus it on scapegoats. His personal hatred and existential pain (caused by factors prior to the war) gave him an emotional edge in his political rhetoric that people found compelling. Twenty years later Europe was in flames...
magichands Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 But I was talking about thier inside. Hitler grew up with a dominant and emotionally abusive father. Then he trecked out to Vienna to find his salvation in art, only to be rejected for his lack of talent. He was unattractive and unsuccessful with women. By the time the First World War came along he was desperate to find a way to justify his existence and prove himself. Supposedly he took to trench warfare like a fish in water. In the post war chaos of Germany, Hitler found his dissatisfaction and alienation were popular sentiments. Many people were angry for many different reasons, but Hitler found he had an ability to channel that anger and focus it on scapegoats. His personal hatred and existential pain (caused by factors prior to the war) gave him an emotional edge in his political rhetoric that people found compelling. Twenty years later Europe was in flames... Where does the testicle fit in to this story?
burning 4 revenge Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Where does the testicle fit in to this story? There was a popular rumor during the War that Hitler only had one testicle. Also, his maids claimed that the sheets that he and Eva Braun slept in were always dry. Make of that what you will.
Porn_Guy Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 So are looks the only thing that matter to you? by "outside" i meant the person they present to the outside world....
magichands Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Also, his maids claimed that the sheets that he and Eva Braun slept in were always dry. Make of that what you will. I guess she swallowed.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I guess she swallowed. :laugh: what a pretty picture that presents
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