emotionsmessmeup Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 2006 was a almost a ***-less year for me... Dont get wrong..many men are attracted to me... I talk to a lot of men... the astrologers say my golden period has begun since November...hehe but there no men I wanna hook up with... I havent hooked up with men from the past even after seeing them after 6 months again.... gurls...do you all have too many apprehensions about sleeping with someone...am i normal? its just wierd that i have been single for so long...and nothing seems to click.. I am nto comfortable having *** with someone just like that all of a sudden and i have had a casual relationship before... I wanna have sex but cant seem to do it!!
amaysngrace Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 gurls...do you all have too many apprehensions about sleeping with someone...am i normal? I don't know what you specific scenario is so it's kind of hard to say. Are you not attracted to these men whom you find attracted to you? Do you need to feel highly connected before engaging in sex with them? Are you exceptionally self conscious? Do you like your body? Has anybody criticized you in bed? Does sex make you feel guilty somehow? Is it painful for you? Like I said...it's kind of hard to know how to overcome the problem without more infomation.
Reckless Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 The age of careless sex is gone. We all need to get over that and move on. Having said that and given that sex (I don't think you need to <bleep> out S*x here at the Shack - its all we ever talk about anyway...) is an intimate act I think you need to get out there and get your feet wet. I mean 'just say 'yes'' not to sex but as my brother told me once - send out signals indescriminately and cast your dating net wide. A date or three doesn't mean sex or marriage... have fun. Say yes to guys you think are unsuitable (not homocidal 'unsuitable' just "not your type" unsuitable) you'd be surprised how interesting and attractive men can be when you get over the initial 'checking each other out' stage. * Get out there for 2007! * Date blue-collor if you only date lawyers; * Date short if your cirteria was always over 6 foot * Let your crazy aunt Wilma set you up on a blind date with her chiropodist * Go speed dating with a girlfriend * Ask a man out for the first time in your life if you have never done that Some of it may lead to something more - most of it will not but at least come 2008 you'll say "2007? Hell of a year!!!"
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 Reckless...You know..I have been doing all of that...I mean I am really out there...I was even about to try speed dating...and I tried online dating which I dont believe in...i also went out with men who are blue-collar....my parents tried setting me up with about 8 men last year... Amaysngrace...Let me first make it clear that sex is intimate to me but not much more than anyone else...it does not pain me...at 25 I have only had sex with 2 men...1 serious relationship which lasted about 6 years and second casual one...in the casual fwb situation i felt disrespected and it was with a good friend...and we hung out with the same friends... A little emotional connection would be nice before having sex but I dont have to know every damn thing before doing it. Now the one drawback I see in myself is that I take him and usually give negetive vibes in the beginning....and then after knowing somebody a lil I decide to maybe give it a chance but by the time it is either too late or I am just a game a boy wants to win to satisfy his ego.. Now...let me give you a few examples this year... - this blue collar kinda guy was too gross for me...he liked talking about anal sex and threesome and had a bad fetish for belly buttons...it was really gross to me... - this other guy kept asking me out...and he actually wanted to marry me ...and i didnt find him goodlooking so I said no...then one day i met him for coffee and i thought to myself..he really isnt that bad...and when i told him i was thinking that maybe we should give it a shot..he backed off...he was introduced to me by my parents - this third guy i said no to coz i still wasnt comfortable with and he lived outta town...the next time i visited his city...he was already seeing someone else Its just wierrrrrrrrrrrrd....
stillbits12 Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 I definitely need to know the guy a little more than the "random hooking up from the bar" scenario in order to go any further than making out. I'm not one of those girls who are comfortable bringing a guy home even if I am drunk to the point of no return. Even then, I know that that is a boundary I cannot cross. It's also about a comfort thing. I feel more comfortable being intimate with someone if I know that this person has a good personality from what I can tell after our dates. But I don't think I view sex as seriously as some girls do. For example, the guy I'm currently dating, when I first met him, I didn't think we'd last at all. He was nothing like the guys I'm usually attracted to (he's good looking but just not my type) and we didn't totally 'hit it off' from the beginning. Honestly, I saw him as potential ass before I left the country for 5 months, which is why I viewed our relationship as casual for a really long time. Now that I've gotten to know him a lot more, I really like him, enjoy the sex immensely (we didn't actually start having sex until about 5 weeks after our first date), and really see myself in a long term relationship with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I agree with the above posters in that just give anyone you think who has a good personality a chance, even if it is casual dating for a long time. When you start noticing their inner attributes, you'll start noticing a lot more about them and be more comfortable. Don't randomly hook up for the sake of getting ass -- it's not rewarding.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Just put yourself out there, bottom line. Unfortunately, it's also a known fact the our society has cultured women to be nice girls, and if they want to have (casual) sex with someone they are attracted to it makes them a bad girl. This is rubbish, and someday this whole premise would change I hope. I started forcing myself to go out into public places where singles hang out and that worked for me And the more interactions you have, you increase the odds of hooking up with someone who fits your criteria. Good luck!
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Unfortunately, it's also a known fact the our society has cultured women to be nice girls, and if they want to have (casual) sex with someone they are attracted to it makes them a bad girl. This is rubbish, and someday this whole premise would change I hope. Roosty, thanks for saying that. I wish too that women, if they choose to, can have one night stands and not be labelled a slut or easy. (as long as the ONS are between single folks ofcourse!) Why is it that men can do that, and not women?
Rooster_DAR Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Roosty, thanks for saying that. I wish too that women, if they choose to, can have one night stands and not be labelled a slut or easy. (as long as the ONS are between single folks ofcourse!) Why is it that men can do that, and not women? It's what our society was founded on, women being good little girls. Many aspects of modern social structuring has repressed women's natural instincts. Religion, social groups, and other entities were attempting to create what they thought women should be. It worked for a long time, but now we are seeing the repercussions of this. Women have been cultured to believe all of these things, so when they start feeling "Horny" so to speak, they get bombarded with all kinds of contraditions and confused thoughts. I think this is one reasons why we are seeing more and more women having affairs and cheating than ever. In some ways, perhaps society has created this issue. These are where my thoughts are heading at this time! Regards!
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