Guest Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Hi, I have been reading a lot of your posts as I came on this board for advice on my own relationship (I am 18), and I ran across this forum. I'm sure you have read stuff like this before... But do any of you realize the hurt that you are causing others? I have an eleven year old sister. When I was young my father had an affair and impregnated the woman, which I found out about when I was about nine. She had an abortion. My father has had another affair as well. For a young child to have to deal with something like this is indescribable. When I initially found out, I felt completely betrayed and unloved by my father. No matter what he felt for my mother, he should have refrained from this for my sake. When someone has kids, there is no reason for them to be this irresponsible. I now completely resent my father and have many more issues that stem from this. I am EXTREMELY insecure, especially in my relationships. I do not trust people at all. I am very jealous and always worried someone is going to leave me. I feel distant from my family. So for all of you who still think you have "morals", who are "so much in love", let me tell you... you are living in a fairytale. This other person is married and has their own life, which you do not have any RIGHT to meddle with. I don't care how much you "love" each other. If you have any heart at all, you will think of others. Now I know you are only half of the equation, but both parties are guilty. If these men have children, LEAVE NOW. I cannot believe you would put children through this kind of pain for your own selfish reasons. Even if they don't have children, what about their wife? No matter what they say, if you do not personally know her you cannot trust this. I understand mistakes, I understand love, but from the broken heart of someone who has been affected by affairs, PLEASE leave before you get in too deep. It is so hurtful to everyone involved. And even if you think you won't get caught, the chances are very high. Please take this into consideration. I don't want others to hurt in the way I have.
Marielle Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 If you really are a daughter, (and not a BW pretending to be one): Your post did something to me...myself coming from separated parents, I grew up very insecure, always scared to be left. It was very interesting to read your post. it surely did something to me (I MEAN A REACTION)..I hope one day you will get better, you seem a very mature intelligent girl.
GreenEyedLady Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 M: I, too, question authenticity in light of recent posts and that this poster is not a registered member... As you are in pain and hurting, you have my deepest sympathy...you are a young woman and I hope that you are in counseling (if not you should be) to help deal with your depression and anger... I hope that you are able to find peace...
pureinheart Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I came from a broken home also....not trying to be unsympathetic, just know from experience what can happen if you carry this much longer. To spare you of my life long story, will simply cut to the chase....people are human, they make mistakes....holding on to hurt and anger only hurts you....this goes for your personal relationship that you are seeking answers to. Let it go....release your father and love him. People will hurt you and the best way to cope is to gain understanding, understand that most who hurt you didn't set out to do that, don't take it personal. Don't be a doormat....create boundries now and stand by them...
bellababygirl Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Regardless if it is OW or OM...a child pulled between two parents they love is not a fair position. Unfortunately, as a child all you truly know is the people you love are hurting...the whys of how they got there you may never know. If you did know would it make it any different??? You say run if they have children? What if the affair produces a child, a half-brother or sister to you? Are they any less deserving of their parents love? We are in a world that the nuclear family is disappearing...I am not sure if that is for the best or not... I do know that sometimes you open your eyes and can not believe where you find your life. But how you got there is irrelevant...it is how are you going to live your life that day? My father is on his 7th wife and 9th child. He only has contact with his first two and last two children, as his 7th wife demands his attention. Who is right? Do the other five children deserve any less? Did they ask for any less? I am not my mother, nor my father. But, I too, have made mistakes. Mistakes that I attempt to refrain from effecting anyone else to the best of my ability. But, when it all comes down to it you can't MAKE someone do something. Sadly, but with children all you can do is give them truth about their parents. If you dont give it to them they will seek it...no matter how you try to dress up truth, at times it will remain ugly...hurtful...all you can do is choose to get up and live today the way you choose to live...
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