Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I posted some days ago in regards to my live in boyfriend and well here goes yet another vent. He works long hours each day and so do I so every chance we get we try and spend time together.Last night he came home from work,we hugged and kissed before he made his way to the shower then I made us dinner,we sat down and watched some TV together then he went onto the computer. I whilst he was typing away to two "friends" well.....let's truthfully say...two women he met on a singles dating site!I showered and got dressed into something sexy and walked into the room hoping to grab his attention but guess what!He contined to sit at the computer and type to these women!!! I laid on the bed behind him and could see one of them lives not far from us and he had planned at one stage before we met to meet with her but never did.I sat waiting and waiting and then I got up and walked out into the loungeroom and turned on the TV,after some time he came out telling me he was going to bed so by this time I was furious as you can imagine. I told him our time together is limited and that I felt he would rather spend time chatting with women he has never even met before from a singles site then spend time with me.He laughed and could not see what the big deal was and I asked him how he would feel if it was him sitting there waiting for me and I was on here chatting up with some single guys asking them where they lived and about their marital status. I walked downstairs and slept in the spare room....I was furious. This morning he gets up and comes to me only because he wanted me to tell him where something was as he was heading to work.He STILL does not see anything wrong with what he was doing and thinks that I am just a jelouse person......am I?or have a good reason to be P'd off with him? When things are good they are fantastic between us but times like this where he does not consider my feelings they are so bad I want to call things off with him
Mythical Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 hey Aussie, I don't really have any advise or anything but I just wanted to let you know I would be BEYOND pissed. I get a lot of time with my boy and still he wouldn't do that. Even if we were living together I would be mad about something like that he seems very rude to you about it and doesn't take it into consideration that you were pissed....you slept on the couch for fu*k sacks!!! The sexy outfit didn't even get him?? Im sorry I hope this changes for you...you defiently have a reason to be mad.
norajane Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Yeah, I'd be pissed. WTF is he doing on singles sites, anyway - he's NOT single. He owes you an apology and needs to somehow make this up to you - starting with canceling his little singles site account.
Sand&Water Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 RE: Aussie65, You should be upset -and hurt. His behaviour -or, even, lack thereof is unacceptable. Woman, you would have smoke steaming out of your ears -IF you weren't able to put-up with his diversion. Why, on earth, is he on a Singles Dating Site? He isn't on the site, just to receive financial assistance -or, look for his long-lost mother. No. It is clear as glass, his motives are misplaced. I recommend you confront him about the entire situation. IF he doesn't respond, like a true boyfriend, with a change in mind, then dump him. Period. The man is receptively lazy beyond belief. His curiosity is getting the best of him, and as a result, you are the one paying the price. Do yourself a favor, and learn to pick-up and categorize such disturbing signs. Regards, Sand&Water
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Thankyou this is why people should really consider moving in with someone!I mean...we have been together for some months now but I am wishing now we waited. This guy has me on a rollercoaster a lot of the time.He is fun and I mean....loads of fun!he calls me pet names all the time and is very affectionate but then he will go do shi*ty things like this which he knows upsets me yet he doesn't see what he is doing wrong!Am I suppose to write it out in black and white for him to understand? His last response to what I said to him about wanting to spend time with him was that I was a jelouse person and "WHATEVER"....he then went off to work so once again I am the bad person here. I was damn se*y last night lol I mean HELLOOOOOOO whats a woman gotta do to get some attention huh?you dress in a nice outfit to impress your man and he doesn't even aknowledge you. I told him I laid on the bed for quite some time before heading out of the room and he tells me I never,that I showered later and walked in and out.....that's how much notice he took of me as I had showered early and was in my attire....anyhow,what a shot down huh? He tells me this morning that "I" have not been showing him attention lately....I work!he works....yes he works longer hours then me but I work a physical job,he sits on his tail driving trucks....I come home and I work!I cook dinner while he lays on the couch and falls asleep watching TV....I put his meal out for him....he eats it then watches more TV and goes to bed...that's about the jist of things around here so it's Friday night and I want to spend time with my honey and what's he do?He sits talking to other women in front of me on the internet....I feel like throwing the darn computer out the window!He will be home in some hours and acting like everything is fine as he always does I am sure so what do I say to him?any suggestions?
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Sand and water....he met these women through a singles dating site before I met him and he had them on his MSN....still,I don't think he needs to still be in touch with them.
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 norajane....he does owe me an apoligy!I am really over the fact he needs to keep in touch with other women like he does and this is my house so if he keeps this up he will be thrown out on his tail.
LN99 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 This guy sounds like a jerk! Kick him out!! What kind of bf comes home and chats openly on a singles site while his gf is in the next room? And you say its your house huh? Kick him out! There is no excuse for what he is doing.
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 He is not on a singles site,these are two women he met on a singles site before I met him.
LN99 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 He is not on a singles site,these are two women he met on a singles site before I met him. Ok, so is he just friends with these women or is there something more to it? Either way, why does he still keep in contact with them if he is with you? I can see him talking to them as friends. But are you sure he doesn't still see them on the side? I don't know, it kinda sounds fishy to me. Especially when he has someone right in front of him who he is supposidly in love with, and he ignores you to talk to these other women.
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 I know what your saying LN99 and yeah I agree,why should he keep in touch with them when he doesn't even remember their names!Oh he does now,he now knows their locations,that they are single still etc,I was looking over his shoulder patiently waiting while he was talking to them.I don't know why he should want to know these things about them anyway when I am sitting right there! If I think too much about this it tires me out...some guys are just plain THICK!
LN99 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 He could be trying to make you jealous. But honestly, how childish if he is. But, I would be extremely pissed if my bf pulled something like that right in front of me! Have you confronted him about this?
Author Aussie65 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 At first OK he was browsing on ebay for car parts,now that's fine!I have no problem with that but then I noticed he was also talking to these two women.I don't believe he was trying to make me jelouse...he just honestly cannot see his mistake.He came out into the loungeroom where I was later and kissed me but was laughing and saying I was being silly etc...still laying up in my lingerie too I was but he didn't once again seem to notice and went off to bed.I did think when he noticed I was not in bed later that he would come find out why I wasn't but I never saw him all night...I am not going to tolerate this behaviour from him!Even when he says to me " but im with you!" how do I know that he is not keeping in touch with this one that lives close for the "just in case" our relationship starts to hit the rocks!....I cannot be sure of that.
nancyleeh Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 It's a game, a game of control, it's like the guy is saying that even thought he lives with you and cares about you on some level, your not going to tell him what he can do, even if what he is doing upsets you and believe me, he knows it upsets you. It's a control thing. Frankly most guys would just as soon loose their partner than change because there are so many other women out there that they can controin the same way. I suppose some men grow up or out of the stage of selfishly wanting a woman at home and a bunch of women who dotes on his ego, but if he isn't willing to start changing now, your in for a long haul with little hope things will change. One thing you can control is what you want to do with the rest of your life. I do wish you the best. nancyleeh
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