Washup Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 This story is so complicated, but i will try to make it easy to understand..i have been on and off with someone for about 15-16 months now..we have had all types of unhealthy stuff happen to us, because of us..we are both very needy and probably aren't mature enough to to be in a healthy relationship..or at least not me..so my current issue is: we recently broke up for about a month..now we happen to see eachother, and have been talking-trying to work things out..but i have a big problem..i am struggling with having her go out with people, getting drunk, dancing, and all types of **** she probably doesn't tell me about..now i love this girl..so i am trying to do what i can to be a good b/f and let her do what she wants to do(she is 21, and i am 24)..it's so damn hard..i trust her, with all my heart..i do not think she would ever cheat on me, and i doubt she would even think of another..but my issue is i guess with control, or feeling that i am missing out, while she is having a great time..i don't know what to do i get this awful feeling in my stomach thinking of her out like that..and then i start to think-what if something happen to her-type stuff..and it drives me crazy..i know i should let her do what she wants to do..and i do..i have been good so far, it's just her telling me about it and how much fun she had..it makes me crazy..i just sit there with this knot in my stomach..it sucks..i wish i didn't care, after all i do trust her so that isn't the issue..i just don't like the idea of all these guys hitting on her-buying her drinks-dancing with her, now maybe you might say i should go out with her..but i don't even wanna go out with her..i figure i would go out if i was looking for someone..not if i had someone..idk, maybe i am just a borring guy, but i don't wanna go out-once-twice-three times a week..i just don't care, nor do i wanna spend the money..the enviroment has never been interesting enough for me to want to go out there and be phoney to a bunch of people i wouldn't associate with anyway..it just sux..the worst part is that i think it might be that i wish i was like her..i wish i could enjoy **** like that..maybe thats one of the reasons i lover her so much..her outgoing personality-her ability to have fun..either way i can feel it..im about to lose her..it's gonna be over..again..she needs to have her fun, and im no fun..i just can't help but think after all her partying is done she will wake up in some guys bed unhappy wishing she was with me..what can i do..i try and try to be ok with this, it's just not me..i don't need all that **** to be content..i just need her..i have no idea about anything..life is a pain in the ass..do i let her go-again-only to be alone wishing i was out anyway..or do i swalow my pride and let her do what she wants, after all she always comes home to me..any advice-females..?
Recommended Posts