rock child Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I need some help from those who have been cheated on in a relationship. I am the one who cheated on my boyfriend and since then three years have pasted and he can't forget and is not sure he wants to continue. We both love each other very much and I would never cheat again. He forgives me and trust me and always says that he wishes he met me now, that I would be the perfect girl. See we meet in high school, I had been abandoned by all of my family and cheated on in the past. When I feel in love with him i felt like I needed to cheat to protect myself and I thought that he was cheating (he never was). Anyway I want to be with him and love him so much. I would love to hear some ways others that are in his shoes deal with it, so I can help and understand him better. Thank you.
Guest Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I need some help from those who have been cheated on in a relationship. I am the one who cheated on my boyfriend and since then three years have pasted and he can't forget and is not sure he wants to continue. We both love each other very much and I would never cheat again. He forgives me and trust me and always says that he wishes he met me now, that I would be the perfect girl. See we meet in high school, I had been abandoned by all of my family and cheated on in the past. When I feel in love with him i felt like I needed to cheat to protect myself and I thought that he was cheating (he never was). Anyway I want to be with him and love him so much. I would love to hear some ways others that are in his shoes deal with it, so I can help and understand him better. Thank you. Hi Rock Child, I was in a very similar situation a few years back with my long term boyfriend. He was my best friend but I was young and sometimes I felt I was missing out on life that my friends enjoyed - going out, partying, dating. Anyway, I met someone and cheated on my boyfriend for about 6 months. I feel real shame about what I did to him now. He was a good person and just because I was too lazy to make it work, I looked for the easy option in the arms on another. It was borne from paranoia that he was cheating - he never was either. What your BF is going through now is that the grass is greener on the other side. Perhaps he has always had a seed of doubt buried deep and feels able to wreak revenge by finishing your relationship. He's sort of in the position now that you were when you met him as you has also been cheated on then. I would let him have the space he needs. Tell him that you love him, why he's so special to you and what you want to happen with him in the future. Its hard putting your heart out for someone to crush but its brave and will get you the answers you want. They do say, if you love someone let them go. And if you free him now, he might just come back after having the space to sort his head out. Best of luck, I hope it works out. Be strong x
Flyin in Clouds Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 ... I would love to hear some ways others that are in his shoes deal with it, so I can help and understand him better. Thank you. My first GF may have cheated on me, she wanted to break up, would never tell me why and denied there was another man. Just we'd make each other unhappy. We'd been together 4 years (from junior year in high school). We were pinned at the time, which in fraternities means we were engaged to be engaged. My second GF did cheat on me after going stead for 2 years and my being completely faithful to her. Of course I should have known she would cheat on me because when we hooked up she was cheating on her fiance with me. So... if it was me.... this is want I'd be thinking. 1. If I continued the relationship it wouldn't be anything other than my having a good time with the girl. I certainly wouldn't contemplate marrying her. 2. I wouldn't ever really trust her again. I would always assume she was lying or hiding things. 3. I would want revenge. 4. I would certainly want to keep my "notch count" ahead of hers. i.e. I'd want to sleep with more women that she had men. Her having more men than I had women is a complete deal breaker. I would have a hard time not thinking of you having sex with the other guy. Bad images in the head which really can't be erased. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but the past sexual history is a big deal to many men. It's rather unpleasant to think of our girl as having had sex with anyone but us. For some men being cheated on is the equivalent emotionally of being raped. I can't think of anything worse my wife could do to me to inflict pain than cheating on me. Being stabbed straight in the heart would be kinder.
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