Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I'm having a little pm discussion with a friend about affairs and crossing the line, so I thought it would make a good post here. Lets talk a little bit about crossing the line. The point during the affair where you knew you could stop this action or continue. What was going on in your head? In your life? Was it fate that led you to the point of no return? Was there anything else that could have stopped you before it was too late? Like the element of risk involved or that maybe this wasn't right? There was a moment when I was seperated from Romeo where I could have crossed the line. Thought about crossing the line and even running back and forth across that damn line (lol) because he was back with the OW... but I said no and the consequenses of that "fate" led me back to my husband. It was a night that changed my life because I didn't give in, but the only thing stopping me was Romeo and my honor (and) the fear of breaking my honor. Then inexplicably, Romeo had come back to me the next day. We talked over the next several days and reconcilled after long talks about the past, present and future. He also wanted some ass (lol) but I didn't cross that line either. I wasnt going to take him back right away. Ha Ha. but needless to say my life changed that night I didnt cross the line.
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Because of the history we had, I clearly gave him all the control and the choice to have an A. He made the decision to cross the line. I was already on the other side. I would have and I did walk away when I had to. Had he decided months ago to not cross the line, then we wouldn't have. So really, in my case, he would have to answer your question.
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Nevermind while I change my avitar around. < ~ ~ ~ I just got my first tattoo, this is the design I got on my back And PS yes it did hurt. The outline part really felt like a tattoo blade. Milestones people. Milestones.
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Nevermind while I change my avitar around. < ~ ~ ~ I just got my first tattoo, this is the design I got on my back And PS yes it did hurt. The outline part really felt like a tattoo blade. Milestones people. Milestones. That's beautiful. And yes they hurt like a b*tch! Good thing I am not planning on getting anymore! I fainted when I got mine.
bonehead Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I guess first of all I need you to clarify if your talking a EA or a PA or an EA that built to a PA. Lets not forget the MD PhD CEO AFLCIO
bonehead Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Nevermind while I change my avitar around. < ~ ~ ~ I just got my first tattoo, this is the design I got on my back And PS yes it did hurt. The outline part really felt like a tattoo blade. Milestones people. Milestones. That looks SWEET
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 I mean PA, ONS SG/SG, ABCDEFG, OMG, LOL and all of the above FYI BRB OK. I mean having sex with someone and the moment you did, or didnt stop. Did your life change? Maybe would things have been different if you had not crossed the line with a MP, turned that person down and still have it change your life in that moment. I know I would have fu*cked up everything that was important to me if I went too far. It was thinking of Romeo, that stopped me but that wasn't the only thing, but he was with OW and I had no reason not to have somebody too, except losing my honor. Then the next day he came back to me and we talked alot and got reconcilled but that wouldnt have happened if I had crossed the line, because he found out that I was waiting for him and his friends told him he was a fool for losing me. Our friends we're tying to push us back together.
bonehead Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I mean having sex with someone and the moment you did, or didnt stop. Did your life change? Well if it was an OMG mind blowing...... ok If it was an EA that turned physical I really think the emotions would seriously come into play. And quite often it is very hard to over ride emotions with logic. The ONS even though troubleing I dont think quite falls into the areana of an affair. So we wont address that one yet. I dont really buy into the strictly PA affairs. I really think there is some emotion involved unless they were after a ONS.
BenThereDunThat Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 OK, I'm only posting this once - so pay attention people! After this, I hope my post gets way buried. I'm taking a huge risk here. The thing is, prior to my experience, I would be one of the people here posting "what the F**K is wrong with you??!!" I'm pretty sure I would be more compassionate about it though. But, woman-to-woman, I'd be like why in the hell would you even THINK about settling for what this bum is offering you? Then, fast-forward to my marrying the guy that I did (why I still don't know, will take therapy to figure out). He wasn't sexually attracted to me. I wasn't sexually attracted to him. And I never was one of those girls who felt the need to be married. I don't want children. I was 36 when I married him. I don't even know to this day WHAT his sexual attractions are. But he loved me, hard, like a child loves its teddy bear. And I do mean like a child. Like a co-dependant, let's not face reality, kind of way. In the meantime, the physical urges, that I thought I could supress in the name of being "adored," were understandably finally coming to the surface. (I'm embarrassed to admit - we didn't even have sex on our honeymoon. I wish I was lying about that.) Along comes Mr. Smooth Talker, educated, seemingly wonderful (other than the snag of being already MARRIED) guy. My mindset at the time was ok, he's cute, I like him, am attracted to him, we both have needs, fine, no big deal. At this point I couldn't even begin to recognize the f'd up relationship/marriage I was in. My thinking was so completely skewed. So, it was in this messed-up state-of-mind that I crossed that line. And I have regretted it ever since. I let myself get snowed. And I say "let myself" because my normal brain would have NEVER let it happen in the first place. It was my normal brain that fought the whole thing tooth-and-nail, and made MM's life miserable. I HATED myself the entire time. I'd go out after work, not wanting to face (now X)H's weird, childish, issues. Not wanting to face the fact that this MM really just wanted to f**k me, and I'd come home and rattle off some really awful, drunken emails to the MM. Some day soon (I hope), I'll be able to post EVERYthing. But until then, RMD, I hope this answers your questions.
Freedom Now Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Nevermind while I change my avitar around. < ~ ~ ~ I just got my first tattoo, this is the design I got on my back And PS yes it did hurt. The outline part really felt like a tattoo blade. Milestones people. Milestones. I still get goosebumps thinking about leaning over the table, smoking a cigarette (and I don't smoke) and drinking a Pepsi as he put my tattoo on my lower back.... It is a beautiful tattoo of an angel drawing my name in the sand, but the pain......I can still remember it! Congrats Romeo. :p
frannie Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 From your OP, it seems you mean crossing the line sexually..? By the time that happened in my affair, I'd known him a year, and we were in love and very close emotionally and knew we wanted to be together 'properly' at some point. By the time anything physical happened probably a hundred other lines had been crossed, all of them tiny, incremental, and not even significant in the big scheme of things if taken individually.
MoonGirl Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Hi RMD, My situation is a bit different than most, but I assume (maybe wrongly?) that most people who have affairs are unhappy with their marriage (at least to some degree). My marriage was/is awful. We are in the process of separating. Although I have never been physically intimate with OM, I feel that I/we crossed the line months ago. My OM knows I am married, and for the past 3 months we have been "dating". We don't call it that, but that's what it is. We have a deep emotional connection and share many of the same interests. For my OM, this behavior is completely out-of-the-ordinary and he has a VERY hard time dealing with the fact I am married. This is one of the reasons why there has been no physical intimacy. I try to justify my actions by citing my bad marriage.."I am not happy", "I deserve better", etc. I can truly say that I would not consider dating any other OM in my current situation. I already know my OM (have known him for years); I trust him and feel close to him. I felt that if I didn't take action now by dating him and separating from my husband (BTW, OM is not the reason for our separation) I could loose my OM. The timing isn't perfect, and I probably should have waited to date him until after I had moved out. So, for me, I recognize that crossing the line doesn't necessarily mean physical intimacy. I think we can cross the line WAY before it gets to the point of removing clothing.
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Yeah but if it is somebody like a mutual friend it could be crazy. And now the way I see it it feels definately like I was being tested. Eek! I get your point about the other little lines. Flirting. Getting close. A private joke. A certian look that is clearly meant for you. (Please stop looking at me like that with those dark, smoldering brown eyes! I'm melting!) and catching yourself getting turned on about their attibutes (they could be smart, funny, have a tribal tattoo, etc) and you know you're treading the waters. lol
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 It's been four days and it's healing good. I have a mint salve that smells nice and it applies well. Lots of vitamin-e oil extract. The colors on the skin is different than the flash art. They make the inks better now, more vibrant. Color is in. It looks like a vintage, seventees butterfly (Peter Max) between my shoulderblades. I dont know if I want another tattoo, though. For a laugh I was thinking, maybe a heart with a dagger piercing through it to hold a banner that says " B E T R A Y E D" and on the heart it says " Romeo " with a #13 next to it. lmao. That would be funny.
Freedom Now Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Glad you love your tattoo! I love mine, but the pain......like I said, I STILL get goosebumps thinking about it! BTW, mine is on my lower back, right over the center of my spine..... Yeah, I know I am gonna get snickers for that, being an xOW, but, yeah, I guess people call it a tramp stamp! (I know, I know....I'm walking right into this one! )
yousaveme Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 You think it hurt alot? I didnt think it really hurt..More like a dragging. I have a large one on my lower back - use to be my avatar.. I have another on the back of my neck.. And yes, I heard its called alot of names. Tramp stamp is one of them.. Glad you love your tattoo! I love mine, but the pain......like I said, I STILL get goosebumps thinking about it! BTW, mine is on my lower back, right over the center of my spine..... Yeah, I know I am gonna get snickers for that, being an xOW, but, yeah, I guess people call it a tramp stamp! (I know, I know....I'm walking right into this one! )
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Yeah, getting the design right and having a talented artist is primary. I have seen some really good "Tinkerbell" fairies and I've seen some really bad "Tinkerbells" too. I wont laugh at your tramp stamp. Whats important that it's a good tattoo. Perfect lines. An artist that can see the slightest gradients in the shading. You know. Check out this website. It's becoming more politically correct these days. Theres a section on this site under pets - a photo of a cat with a ear piercing. (The hole was caused by another cat in a catfight with another cat and the owner put her belly ring through it. It would look cute as your avitar FN ) http://www.bmezine.com/ http://www.bmezine.com/pierce/11-surface/A50720/high/bmegl102617.jpg
Freedom Now Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Yeah, my tattoo is beautiful....I get lots of compliments on it. And what I like about the location is that I can wear a formal dress and it doesn't show... It's all about class, you know... Love the belly ring on the kitty! (I have a belly ring, too! They are really sexy, IMHO....)
BenThereDunThat Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 So...I clicked on the link, because you know I just had to see the kitty with the belly ring, I'm at work and TA DAA there's boobs on my screen! LMAO I didn't get to see the kitty because I had to hurry and close the window. Just a little warning for anyone at work....
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 BTDT you made that sound like I linked you to a porn site. The main website logo has a bare breasted girl in the corner but it's not that graphic. It is after all a tattoo site and there is some skin on there. The kitty one is a (ahem) is an actual kitten. So I'm just here to tell you that the second link is just the photo of a cat only, no company logos, I promise. lol... Sheesh.
BenThereDunThat Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Not at all...just a little NSFW warning for those of us who sit out in the open in a corporate environment. Don't want to have a pair of bare breasts on your screen when you're surrounded by sr. vp's and partners. And I was mostly just joking anyway...SHEESH
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 Not at all...just a little NSFW warning for those of us who sit out in the open in a corporate environment. Don't want to have a pair of bare breasts on your screen when you're surrounded by sr. vp's and partners. And I was mostly just joking anyway...SHEESH Just ask them, "Hey VP! Wanna see a picture of a nice kitty?" Plus nevermind you are on an other woman forum. lol. What does your boss think of that? It's okay, he is married? LMAO!!! *zing*
herenow Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Just ask them, "Hey VP! Wanna see a picture of a nice kitty?" Plus nevermind you are on an other woman forum. lol. What does your boss think of that? It's okay, he is married? LMAO!!! *zing* Bad girl (slaps hand).
BenThereDunThat Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Well, when you're just passing by you can't tell WHAT this site is...but if you got some bare boobies on your screen, that's gonna tend to stand out. The way I sit, my screen faces the hallway everyone uses and my back is to it, so I never know who's behind me. But whatever. Sorry I even brought it up.
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 I'm sorry I was a bad Tinkebell. That was aimed at MM in general. Your VP is probably having an affair with his JVP's wife for all everybody knows. It's always the ones you'd never suspect BTDT.
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