Guest Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 My bf and I have been together for a few years now. I am approaching my thirties and my sex drive is kicked up. I crave sex at least once per day. My partner on the other hand seems to be slowing down...He can go days, even weeks without making love. I've tried to talk to him about it, letting him know I need that sexual attention more, however he just kind of blows it off and acts like I am oversexed. Lucky for my man, I am not the cheating type and instead I have turned to masturbation. What do I? I've tried talking to him about this. He knows how I feel. Problem is, nothing is happening to change this. I love my man, however my needs are not being met. Any advice or sympathy would be appreciated. This is really starting to get me down.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 well i think u need to try to talk to him again, maybe this time be more firm about it. tell him that ur not getting what u need from him and that u do love him but u need a partner who is willing to fullfill ur sexual needs. if he truely loves u he will listen and not blow it off. just be sincere and he should be understanding. and if he's not, find someone who can rock ur world in the bedroom.
ls3360 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I laughed when I thought of what Porn_Guy would do with this thread. What do I? I've tried talking to him about this. He knows how I feel. Problem is, nothing is happening to change this. I love my man, however my needs are not being met. Any advice or sympathy would be appreciated. This is really starting to get me down. Anyway... besides your BF "acting like you're oversexed", what does he say? What are his feelings about this? Does he feel things are good in other areas? Do you get plenty of time to share in other ways? Do you ever initiate sex? Most of the time? Rarely?
Walk Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Ls3360 is right, definitely need more information about the problem. How often do you two have sex? Like an average per week basis? Has this changed significantly at some point in time? Were there any other factors goign on in either of your lives at the same time? I'm wondering if there was something else that contributed to your bf's decline in sex drive, other than age. Most men might not be as sexually driven in their 30's as they were in their 20's, but the majority are driven enough to still want sex 2-4 times a week. Any possibility he may have erectile dysfunction? Maybe he's ashamed to talk to you about it and it's causing him anxiety toward performance? Has he been working more, taken up new sports, or been more physically active? Or has he been more depressed than usual, and less physically active than he normally was? Exhaution and depression could cause less of a drive. In my experience, this is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. But I don't feel comfortable giving advice without knowing more. Any more information would be very helpful.
Guest Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 <B>How often do you two have sex? Like an average per week basis? </B> I would say we average 6-7 times per month. Thats one or twice per week. I guess it could be worse. I could be single and never getting any!! <B>Has this changed significantly at some point in time? Were there any other factors going on in either of your lives at the same time? </B> We used to get it on every day/other day. This has really slowed down since we moved in together/hit our third year. I think this is probably a normal thing to happen when couples live together. <B>I'm wondering if there was something else that contributed to your bf's decline in sex drive, other than age. Any possibility he may have erectile dysfunction? Maybe he's ashamed to talk to you about it and it's causing him anxiety toward performance?</B> Oh no, erectile dysfunction is not an issue. He has always been a no more than once per day kind of guy. He says he has slowed down quite a bit, starting in his early twenties. He is now pushing thirty. I think age and probably some other health/diet factors are driving his urges down. I've tried to be a positive influence on those things, however he is very stubborn about such topics. It is possible that he never had a roaring sex drive, as I know he was single and abstinent for at least 3 years before we got hitched. Am I good at initiating sex? YES, almost to the point that I am begging for him to be intimate with me. Actually, I am almost always the one to try and get things going. There are times I have to sit on his lap and put my hand down his pants for him to realize I am coming on to him. He doesnt take hints easily. I think you guys have given me a good basis to start thinking about the why's of the situation. Our relationship is pretty good, we rarely fight and are very loving with one another. Outside of the sex, I feel very satisfied with our relationship and I could see us together for a long long time, if not forever. However, I'm tired of begging him for attention and I fear that this is going to cut into our happiness eventually. I can't be the only one putting creativity and energy into our sex life. Thanks for listening everyone. This has helped! I dont feel like I am weird for feeling this way anymore.
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