JackBlack Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 To make a long story short, I'm really inexperienced in the dating department and not to mention a little timid about it, and this is mostly because I've prioritized school ahead of dating, and that combined with a few sour experiences with girls has deterred me from me trying to be in any type of relationship. But my situation is this: I'm in my last semester of school and there's this really cute girl that lives in my apartment complex. I've never actually spoken to her, but we recognize each other and she always smiles at me - I'd describe the smile as a genuine/shy smile. Usually after she smiles, her eyes will drift downward or her entire head will tilt down. Whether this actually means anything, I'm not sure, because based on what I've observed, she seems to be a very nice girl, and it's not uncommon for girls in my apartment to smile at me, because we recognize each other as neighbors and/or they find me attractive. (She could just be a girl who has a boyfriend who happens to be very nice and friendly, which would not surprise me.) And if my perception of her personality is accurate (How much can you really ascertain by observing?), she has qualities that I find very attractive. Usually, when I admire a girl from a distance whom I see on a regular basis, I lose interest after a while. But this girl has been on my mind for the last few months, and it is a rare occurrence for girl whom I've only admired from a distance to be on my mind this long. I'm graduating at the end of this semester and she is not, and all I know is that if I don't approach her somehow and at least attempt to get to know her better, I'm going to have some serious regrets. From what I've observed, she tends to be a pretty independent girl. It would be nice if we had some mutual acquaintances who could introduce us to each other, but that simply is not the case. The one thing I have going for me is that I see her from time to time at the school gym. However, therein lies the problem of what I would possibly say to her. I know most of you will probably just tell me to suck it up and go talk to her, but I tend to be somewhat of a timid person and I'm not very good at striking up conversation with random people. If I were to walk up to her right now with the intent on talking to her, I would literally walk up to her and nothing would come out of my mouth. Now I know I'm somewhat of a late-bloomer when it comes to dating, and I should have been honing my skills all along. But there's really nothing I can do about that with this girl. I am who I am right now, and that's what I have to work with. So what I'm asking is how do I approach her? How do I gauge her interest? How possible is it that something could come of this even though I'll be graduating in four months and leaving town and she will not? And most importantly, if I do approach her, how do I put my best self out there? (As regretful as I would be if I don't approach her, I think I would be nearly as regretful if I approach her, but don't do it well.)
CaliGuy Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 You just do it. You walk up to her, smile, make good eye contact and say "Hey, let's go grab some coffee" or whatever. The problem with getting comfortable talking to women is if you never practice it, if you never take a chance, if you don't get out of your comfort zone you will never get good at it.
Author JackBlack Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 Yeah, I pretty much figured I have to suck it up and just talk to this girl. Like I said, I typically don't strike up conversations with girls, but I feel like with this one, I've gotta do it. I can't help but feel a little awkward thinking about doing it though, and I don't feel like I'm ready to make that leap. I typically know when I'm ready to step outside of my comfort zone to try new things, and I guess this is one of those times that I'm hesitant because I still feel uneasy. Just wondering if anyone else can relate.
ls3360 Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 If asking her if she wants to go get some coffee is too challenging, just talk to her on the spot. It's not like you have to ask her on a date or something. Start with talking. If you like, just think of her as one of the guys and just talk about something she might think is interesting. Talk about the apartments. Talk about the land lord. Talk about the loud folks in 7B. While you're at it, practice speaking to random people you meet at the mall, the line at the grocery store or whereever.
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