Lisamarieuk Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 I am 25 and have been in a relationship with a guy of 43 for 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I do Love him, but there is something in the way that spoils our relationship, which is "He likes to play around, and finds nothing wrong with it" he tries to tell me that "It is only sex with other people, and he loves me" He never uses any protection and I am afraid of catching anything off him, I am really stuck in this mess because I love him so much and I don't know what to do Please let me know what you think as I feel used and would appreciate any replies and hopefully your veiws on my situation.
Mythical Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 hey Lisa, I definetly think you need to get out of this relationship. Have you been tested for STD's?? There are even a lot you could have without even knowing. He has no respect for you or him slef to be able to go out and screw other woman giving you the chance of catching something or getting them pregnant! Please get out of this relationship ASAP you deserve way better than that. You are still very young (like me) and can find that same love in someone who respects you. Good luck, be strong
lorr Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 I am 25 and have been in a relationship with a guy of 43 for 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I do Love him, but there is something in the way that spoils our relationship, which is "He likes to play around, and finds nothing wrong with it" he tries to tell me that "It is only sex with other people, and he loves me" He never uses any protection and I am afraid of catching anything off him, I am really stuck in this mess because I love him so much and I don't know what to do Please let me know what you think as I feel used and would appreciate any replies and hopefully your veiws on my situation. I'll really let you know what I think. First of all how on earth can you justify being in a relationship with a man who doesn't mind dabbling in unsafe and unprotected sex with other people? It makes my blood boil to know that you are a big grown woman, who should know that there are different types of diseases that are out there today, especially incurable ones such as Herpes, HIV,and AIDS. If anything your boyfriend sees you as a fool and doesn't have an ounce of respect for you and I don't think you have any respect for yourself to put up with his nasty behaviour. Instead of deluding yourself that your in love. Wake up and realise that your being used and do yourself a favour and get checked out at the GUM clinic.
megnog Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 You can love him all you want.. But you guys want WAY different things. Is this really how you wanted your life to be? Is there ever going to be talk of marriage?? I doubt it. YOU are 25 years old! You are young and probably beautiful.. why would you want to waste your time with some old guy that wants to sleep around with women UNPROTECTED? I mean, some people, they don't mind an open relationship...sex is sex to some people. Me, I like to keep my boyfriend to myself. Even if you were okay with this open relationship, unprotected is risking EVERYTHING for you and its not the way to be. I really hope you get talked out of this relationship by either me or somebody else! This guy is totally wrong for you and will end up hurting you emotionally and perhaps physically (std's) Please get him out of your life
norajane Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Love does not conquer all - especially AIDS, hepatitis, and a whole host of other STD's. Love does not conquer all - especially if you are being disrespected, used, and your life (yes, your life) placed in danger. HE does not love YOU. If he did, he wouldn't expose you to all the diseases he is exposing himself. He wouldn't cheat on you. Get out of this NOW and go and get yourself tested for every STD there is.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 I do Love him Hopefully one day you'll love yourself more, and get yourself out of this toxic relationship.
MystifiedByMen Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 He's using your young age to manipulate you. I'm 25 to but I can see what's going on being an outsider. Now, this is just my opinion. But.. I'd run and find a guy your age that you can relate to. Not a guy who want's to string you along as a toy for his selfish pleasure. Oh, and get tested for sure. Stop communicating with him all together. Think of yourself and your health. Love yourself, not him.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 He's using your young age to manipulate you. I'm 25 to but I can see what's going on being an outsider. Now, this is just my opinion. But.. I'd run and find a guy your age that you can relate to. Not a guy who want's to string you along as a toy for his selfish pleasure. Oh, and get tested for sure. Stop communicating with him all together. Think of yourself and your health. Love yourself, not him. Perhaps age is not the issue, but disregard for safety and disrespect for the relationship. I also think this is very toxic, you need to make some important decisions here. If all you want is sexual pleasure, then make sure you have a good supply of condoms. If you really love this guy, you need to seriously consider finding a way out of this before you get devastated. I am 42 and I am seeing a female that is have my age (21) and I'm not manipulating her at all. True we both are from way different era's but that doesn't neccesarily spell doom. We both enjoy the same principle and mutually like eachother. Again, it's the safety and disrespect involved here if you ask me. Good luck!
TheDC Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I am 25 and have been in a relationship with a guy of 43 for 3 years. Who are you kidding? You may think that you have been in a "relationship" but to him you're just another girl he's doing. if you even for a minute think that somehow you are any more special to him than any of the other girls that he is with then you are fooling yourself. If you are into those sort of "open" relationships and have plenty of other guys on the side then all the more power to you. But I suspect that you aren't into that sort of thing, and you need to find a guy who isn't as well. I'm sorry but a 43 year old guy who is still playing the field and bedding lots of women while supposedly in a relationship isn't going to change his stripes overnight.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I am 25 and have been in a relationship with a guy of 43 for 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I do Love him, but there is something in the way that spoils our relationship, which is "He likes to play around, and finds nothing wrong with it" he tries to tell me that "It is only sex with other people, and he loves me" He never uses any protection and I am afraid of catching anything off him, I am really stuck in this mess because I love him so much and I don't know what to do Please let me know what you think as I feel used and would appreciate any replies and hopefully your veiws on my situation. This is disrespectful of him to fool around with how you feel and then yet treat you like this without using protection. I say run away from this man...
vanessabg Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 hey Lisa, I definetly think you need to get out of this relationship. Have you been tested for STD's?? There are even a lot you could have without even knowing. He has no respect for you or him slef to be able to go out and screw other woman giving you the chance of catching something or getting them pregnant! Please get out of this relationship ASAP you deserve way better than that. You are still very young (like me) and can find that same love in someone who respects you. Good luck, be strong Very true, i agree to you.He has no respect for you and your relations also.You need to get out this relation and you should find another one who truly love you ,as you deserve.
Madeamistake Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 WTF? He says its just sex? I mean, he has the balls to say that to you? Okay? What would you make out of all of this? A lifetime of love and hurt, and not to forget a short-lived one cause of HIV and Aids (As well as STDs)! Take it from a guy, homie does not love you. Plus what are you doing with a guy who is 17 years your senior. He takes you as a kid, thats all. Get a dude your age. Best of luck!
mental_traveller Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Well, you have a pretty simple choice. Either you are happy to be in an open relationship where your partner does not use protection with his other lovers. Or you are not happy to be in such a relationship. Which is it? If you are not happy, then the course of action is simple. Firstly, stop listening to your feelings. Your feelings are meaningless and irrelevant for the decision you have to take, which is to exit the relationship. So, trample all over your feelings, act like a heartless robot, and dump the guy. Ignore how it makes you feel ****ty, and just do what your brain knows makes sense - get out and break all contact, tell him not to contact you at all, and move on. Remember - it does not matter if you love him or not, all that matters is whether it makes sense for you to stay in the relationship. If it makes no sense, then you have to ignore your feelings of love and simply end things. If for some reason you decide to stay, then at least make sure you are using protection yourself. If he wants to risk his own health then that's his business. But there's no reason to risk yours. If you have any doubts on this, just look up some photos of herpes or genital warts on the internet, not to mention the effects of HIV.
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