Gloworm78 Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 I have been in a committed relationship for the past 6 years and we are talking about getting married. The only problem, I can't stop thinking about my ex. It's been 10 years since we have seen each other, I called a few months back to see if maybe we could go to dinner and he did not think it was a good idea. Why after 10 years is he always on my mind 24/7? I did him wronge and am wondering if because there was no real closure is that why I think about him. I am happy in the relationship that I am in and am so confused about why all the thoughts. I can sit and recall every aspect of the relationship from the first time we met up until the end. 2 1/2 years of memories play in my mind like it was only yesterday. I am begining to wonder if I should have my memory erased to make this easier. Does anyone have a logical explanation to all these thought? Was this really the one I was ment to be with and I screwed it all up? Any advice would be helpful.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 If it was meant to be with your ex, you two never would have broken up in the first place... You tried to see/talk to him and he said no - Respect that and now focus on the man infront of you, your present and future. OR, end the relationship and go find your ex. Don't go looking into your past, wanting to see if there's still a chance when you're with someone else right now. Don't cheat on the one you're with now...(Not that you're going to, but by opening that door, you're putting yourself IN a situation where saying no could be difficult.)
Author Gloworm78 Posted January 11, 2007 Author Posted January 11, 2007 I do respect that fact that he does not want to see me. And I don't want to give up the relationship that i have to see what the past holds. I just don't understand why the memories are always there. I know he is not that one I want to be with I just don't understand why I just can't forget him. There are many people from my past that I never think twice about, why is he so different?
dgiirl Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 You mention that you did your ex wrong? Is this something you feel guilty and ashamed about? What are your memories about? Are they happy nostalgic feelings about the relationship, or are they more connected with events that led up to what you did wrong?
amaysngrace Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 You are about to close a chapter of your life and enter a new one. So you're looking back on the life you're leaving behind. Your single life and the people who were a part of that. ExBFs are definitely in that chapter. And I think it is completely healthy to look back in retrospect. To analyze and see where the relationship failed and yes, to peacefully leave it in the past.
luvtoto Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 I have been in a committed relationship for the past 6 years and we are talking about getting married. The only problem, I can't stop thinking about my ex. It's been 10 years since we have seen each other, I called a few months back to see if maybe we could go to dinner and he did not think it was a good idea. Why after 10 years is he always on my mind 24/7? I did him wronge and am wondering if because there was no real closure is that why I think about him. I am happy in the relationship that I am in and am so confused about why all the thoughts. I can sit and recall every aspect of the relationship from the first time we met up until the end. 2 1/2 years of memories play in my mind like it was only yesterday. I am begining to wonder if I should have my memory erased to make this easier. Does anyone have a logical explanation to all these thought? Was this really the one I was ment to be with and I screwed it all up? Any advice would be helpful. Ya know, I have been wondering this myself. I am in kinda the same boat as you. Do you think maybe our constant thinking of our X is just a bad habit we've developed over the years. Like, biting our fingernails or smoking. Something we can't seem to stop doing or have control over. How does a person go about breaking a bad habit??
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 I do respect that fact that he does not want to see me. And I don't want to give up the relationship that i have to see what the past holds. I just don't understand why the memories are always there. I know he is not that one I want to be with I just don't understand why I just can't forget him. There are many people from my past that I never think twice about, why is he so different? Maybe because he meant alot to you. And that's fine, but don't let your past feelings for an ex interfer with your life now. It is what it is, leave the door closed...Look back with a smile, feel lucky that you experienced love with someone special, but it ended and now you have someone else just as special in your life. Keep it in perspective! If you lust, fantasize and wish you could have your ex back, then you are preventing yourself from opening up and loving the man you're with now. The ex touched your heart, meant alot. He brought good into your life when he was IN your life, helped you be the person you are now... Hope this helps.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 How does a person go about breaking a bad habit?? By taking control of your own thoughts and PUSHING out thoughts of your ex. Every time you think of the ex, distract yourself and realize thinking of him, remembering him so much isn't serving you any purpose NOW. It's only feeding past feelings and not letting you move on in every way possible.
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