PollyPocket Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Isnt that nice. I just reliezed he gets everything. At the end he will still have a shore house to go to. Boy oh Boy isnt he the lucky man. OK, makes perfect sense.
herenow Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Isnt that nice. I just reliezed he gets everything. At the end he will still have a shore house to go to. Boy oh Boy isnt he the lucky man. Nothing lucky about it. Your lucky that you know what you're dealing with and it's no longer his hidden secret.
puddleofmud Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 With my situation I have realized that the "affair" (and it hurts me to have to now realize that I DID NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, BUT (to continue)--I was in an affair. The affair was about control. If I had read this forum while I was in the relationship I would have understood that all evasive techniques used were about my ex being MARRIED and his need to control. I believed every lie, every wimper, every need of his. About which I resolved to placate and, thus, lost all control. I doubt he gives an inch about his sorrow other than that with women he may loose control, including his spouse--and even should his BS spouse find out--he would be compliant for a bit and then just continue his habits as usual; ad nauseum in order to seek the control he so desperately desires / needs. There is not a woman kind, sexy, smart, fascinating, fabulous, young, rich, beautiful, powerful, artistic, motherly, kind, patient, willing, adoring enough to "fix" him. Men like these feel no remorse. They are quite criminal, serial rapists without the nature to rape out-right. They seek victims, easily know how and what to look for--what meets their agendas. Who they can control. It is a set up from the start. True, many cheating spouses are not these kind of men but for those who may be--I doubt they care beyond their next fix of a heaping helping of power-mongering "what I can get because I just CAN" or because they are convinced that they are the victims of their marriage and choices. They have no knowlege that they also victimize either because they lack self-awareness or are just by laziness or just don't have that "built in". To expect sorrow or remorse would depend on the person and their character. To expect remorse only when "getting caught" would be quite a sign of an individual's character. Personally, if I were a judge in court and a thief only expressed remorse when they were "caught" after having robbed many times; I would feel the thief had only remorse BECAUSE he were caught and justice was about to be levied. At that point his "get out of jail card" would be useless.
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