OD3 Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Its been over 2 months since my ex cheated on me, left me and started sleeping with this guy. Its caused me a great deal of depression and i find the "thoughts" of them together constantly creeping onto my mind. I force them out though. Ive been to the doctor and I told him about how bad Im feeling and how depressed I was. He asked me if I had tried to kill myself and I had to answer yes. This was a few weeks afterwards though, when I knew she was with him and she was ignoring me. I was drunk and practically hysterically upset. I took a razor blade and slit my wrist in the bathroom, and then freaked out and bandaged it up. Stupid I know. Its not in my character to something like that. He put me on on Citilopram (an SSRI) for 3 months yesterday. As I told him I am just sick of feeling this way and I just want to forget and move on. Has anyone else been reduced to this state where they are advised to actually take anti-depressants to get back to normal?
Craig Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Has anyone else been reduced to this state where they are advised to actually take anti-depressants to get back to normal? I think you know the answer to that question has to be yes. That is why people use antidepressants. In life it is our attitude that determines our experience. It is your point of view that will change everything about the way you feel about your experiences. You chose to become distraught at learning about your ex's behavior and I'm not saying that it was wrong or inappropriate but think of this...some people would be happy to learn that their SO was cheating on them because it gave them a chance to see who their SO really was, the opportunity to move on and not WASTE any more time in that relationship. I know you hurt, I've been there myself. It does get better and it can get better faster if you start to do more and more good things for yourself. You can start slow and taper off or in other words start with doing small things that are good for you and add to that slowly. The antidepressant will probably assist you somewhat but the underlying thought patterns that send you into a depression when confronted with certain triggers will remain unless you do some work on yourself. I'd recommend a therapist that specializes in breakups, grief and trauma and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Doing therapy will give you more tools that you can add to your emotional toolkit to handle life's downs and even ups. It can make you a better, stronger, more resilient human and that can't be anything but good.
magichands Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Has anyone else been reduced to this state where they are advised to actually take anti-depressants to get back to normal? Like Craig says, yes. I wouldn't use the word reduced - you've just been knocked off course. And there's no wind in your sails. You have to remember that things will get better, and there's no need to panic and jump ship. Unless there's another one handy to jump on to, that is.
sunangel Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 First of all I want ot say that I'm really sorry to hear about your situation..... But do you really think it's worth ending your life!!! for someone who doesn't care for you? I agree that you need to see a therapist, so you can work on YOU! Stop thinking about why she left and cheated etc.. Focus on your future and meeting someone else who will appreciate and LOVE you.....
riobikini Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 re: OD3: " Has anyone else been reduced to this state where they are advised to actually take anti-depressants to get back to normal?" Join the ranks of thousands upon thousands, OD#. You're certainly not the first. Whether or not you may have needed meds before any of this ever happened, tho, might take us in another direction. Sticking with the situation as it stands, now, know that you are not alone, and that you're probably more likely to not only come out of this with your life, but a *new* life perspective, as well. Give the meds time to do their work and keep looking forward -not backwards. Keep reporting to your doctor, but in the meantime find as many "uplifting" or interesting things as you can to keep your mind busy and redirected from the recent past events. Limit your time alone. I'm not saying to deny the things that have happened to you that obviously would cause anyone pain, but rather keep them at a distance dealing only with them in small increments at a time that you know you can handle. Time is major "healer" so you know you're going to have to wait it out and see it for yourself in order to believe it. And OD3: your life has great value whether or not the person you loved (or still love) is in it -or not. And that value is increased the longer you live because of the more chances you have ahead of you to find the one whom you will love (and who will love you back) for a lifetime. -Rio
sunandmoon Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 Ok this is what I have done and have been doing the last 2 wks. 1) Join the gym work out like you have never worked out before. 2) See the Dr ask to see a counsellor there may be a huge waiting list if you can afford to, see one sooner pay for it. 3) Get some uplifting good music listen to it constantly. 4) Eat sh*t loads of chocolate. 5) Drink wine - in moderation but enough to appreciate the light moments you have. 6) Get stuck into a physical hobby, join clubs and get out there dont sit at home feeling sad! Accept it and move on. So there you have it, sounds all very easy take it from me it has not been. BUT if you do these things and focus on you and your targets and not him you will find that as you do new things & meet new people maybe new future boyfriend (!) the gap between you and him will grow! More new experiences = quicker way to move on. I have not taken any drugs there were moments were I have had panics, feelings of doom, grey clouds hanging over me like I was never going to get out of the impending bloody doom. I knew if I sat around I would have done something stupid. Try and get away see friends at the weekend, get out of the environment your in. You have to pull yourself out of it, it aint easy but I have had a few days where I have felt fabulous in just 2 wks of a split were I adored him and thought I was going to dye at first. Keep looking ahead and focus on YOU YOU YOU!
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