Rhythm28 Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 A couple of weeks ago I went to the bank to get a statement. I walk in and out of the corner office walks out this gorgeous brunette. She asks if I need something and I say I need a statement. Strange. Why would the bank manager go out of her way to help me? She invites me to her office where I see a picture of a small boy (her son I'm guessing) but no pictures of the father and/or husband. Hmmmmmm. So she prints out the statement, I get up to turn around and she reaches out to shake my hand. What??? A handshake for a bank statement. I leave the bank and I say to myself, "You're an idiot. WHY didn't you ask her for number?!?! Stupid!" A week later I go in to deposit some money. I look up and she's looking right at me from her corner office. I leave without doing anything. Today I went in there with the intention of getting her number. I made another deposit. Talked to a guy I knew that worked there. Changed my address with someone else that worked there and then talked to another guy that I knew that works there also. By this time I had been in there a good 20 minutes. Stalling because she had someone in her office. She comes out and I go in to talk to her. I ask her for her phone number and she says, "I'm married. I was horrified. You do not know how embarassed I was. She pointed at her ring and the picture of her son. I apologized like crazy but then she asked me if I wanted her office number. I did not know what that meant. I think she was trying to spare me some more shame or do damage control in case someone in the other offices heard what was going on in there. Ok so she's married. No prob. Move on. This one's taken. My question is: Is my radar broken? Did I misinterpret her signals? I thought I was "in" because I didn't see a picture of the happy couple on her desk. No picture of her husband anywhere. I don't know if I can show my face there again.
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Guess you didn't check out to see if she was wearing a ring the first time around? Honestly, it sounds like she was enjoying the 'attention' from afar....And she did send out a certain energy, which you picked up on. Don't bother calling her at the office. Deal with the other people you know in that branch.
norajane Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 A couple of weeks ago I went to the bank to get a statement. I walk in and out of the corner office walks out this gorgeous brunette. She asks if I need something and I say I need a statement. Strange. Why would the bank manager go out of her way to help me? Maybe because she thought she might be able to help you with a bank matter?? My bank's branch manager has a glass office in the corner with his door right near the entry where the ATM's are. He frequently comes out and talks to customers. Sometimes, he gets an opportunity to talk them into speaking with one of the investment advisors. I think you read way too much into the situation.
Cupcake Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 I think you made a deal out of nothing. Bank managers do sometimes go out of their way to meet customers because that is their job. She could have been trying to make you feel important, as a customer. Since you obviously found her attractive, you took it differently. This happens to me all the time. I get my heart broken when attrative guys are simply being friendly to me. Some have even asked me out. I accept the invitations thinking he is the man of my dreams, only to discover that he already has a GF, or is married and only wants to discuss a business opportunity with me, nothing personal. Uuuuuugh! I hate that. Then I realized that aside for asking for my number, the man never gave me any real reason to believe his intrest was romantic. Looking at someone, smiling at them, and shaking their hand are all good ways to get someone's attention. But it doesn't always mean they want you. And some people like to flirt just for the fun of it. For some cruel reason, they like to break peoples hearts. My advice, never give in too easily. Once they have your attention, let them know by asking them why they look at you and smile so much. Their answer will tell you what to do next.
Guest Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 In my understanding your interpretation of the vibe you picked up from her was right. I know some women who flirts even though they are married and would like to go out with someone coz they are unhappy with their marriage (hoping they'll meet someone better). I think she probably was interested in you too, that's why she gave you her work number. Maybe she didn't want you to ring her home in case her husband will answer the phone. I can understand that you would feel embarrass to show your face there again, but I think sometimes you should be proud of yourself for showing such courage.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 I think you completely misinterpereted her intentions. Basically the job of a bank manager is pretty competitive. The more successfull you are the better branch you get then there are officer jobs. Watch most women in business positions, they know that looking attractive and smiling at men makes them feel important. If it had been a male bank manager that did the same things you most likely would have hit the nail on the head - this guys working his game, wants me to feel important and like my business is appreciated. On the other hand, I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'm sure she took it as a complement - actually you probably made her day! Even if you are married, it's nice to know that men still find you attractive. In fact, I doubt she will forget you. So if you need any help again, she'll be falling over herself to help you. Giving the office number says, that I am here for all of you banking needs!
Dadaal Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 More like the same story has happened to me ! I think you were too fast to ask her number, you should have waited for a while. Sometimes people mix up work related signs with emotional ones. But my story is not actually the same. I have recently moved in to this town where almost everybody knows every one and I and my girlfriend went to the bank to start some normal procedures and all of a sudden this cute girl has been staring at me for 10 minutes. I did not pay much attention thinking that she was flirting. The next day, I was cycling and this woman saw me somewhere - my girlfriend went to the bank and all of a sudden this woman came up and said - I saw your boyfriend cycling !!! why did she really care so much about me !! After some time, I and my girlfriend moved to the next bigger town where we've started dealing with a new branch but the same bank. My girlfriend went there and all of a sudden she saw this girl working - she asked my girlfriend how I was and if got friends there... oops I have started asking question to myself like if she was interested in me - honestly speaking I don't even remember her face well !!... I went to the bank one day and all of a sudden in the line I realised this woman was staring at me and I went to the counter and told she knows me and my girlfriend........ooops.... Is that a coincidence or something else..I don't know! __________________
cotton_panties Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 don't be embaressed you probably made her day! so what you asked for her number big deal...it's a question nothing to be embaressed about. but managers do help out quite a bit and it's not unusual
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I think you just mis-read her actions. From what I was reading it didn't sound like she was moving for something more with you. Maybe your radar had technical difficulty
Scrivdog Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 You must be retarded if you saw the photo of the kid and did not RUN!
Curmudgeon Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Well, I'm certainly glad I didn't run just because the woman I was interested in had two children I knew of. She's now been my wife for 10 years.
CaliGuy Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I think your radar just needs a little tweaking Always, always look for the wedding ring.
CaliGuy Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 You must be retarded if you saw the photo of the kid and did not RUN! How immature can you be? I am not big on relationships with divorcees with kids (for I have never been married or had kids) but even I am OPEN to it and would not RUN immediately away. Grow up.
Author Rhythm28 Posted January 16, 2007 Author Posted January 16, 2007 I agree. I don't do the whole kids thing but this woman is gorgeous, seemed to have her act together (good job) so I figured why not....Yes I should have looked for the wedding ring but I was too busy watching her check me out! I'll say it again, WHERE is the picture of the baby's dad!?!?!? She's married, great. Good for her. If you're so happy, how 'bout showin' good ol' dad some love??? I know when I get the "look" from women and I know I got it from her. Does that mean she has to act on it by giving me her phone number? Of course not. In fact, she did what she was supposed to do by pointing at her ring and saying she was married. Who knows what her home situation is really like. She may be happy, she may be neglected. All I know is that I'm not going in there anymore to get more vibes or signals.
My Fair Katie Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Yes you misread her. But as a married woman I can tell you that if someone asked for my number I'd be over the moon and have a bounce in my step all day. Then I'd go home and tell My Fair Husband what a hottie he married. Don't be embarrassed. We all make mistakes.
Sand&Water Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 RE: Yes, your radar's broken. -ol' 2long And, IF I may add, her radar is broken too. Sand&Water
City Gal Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 My opinion is that your radar works just fine. She came out of her way to pay special attention to you. She continued on doing so the next time you came around. She even offered her office number, she did not have to, but she did. I think she was very attracted to you, but did not want to make herself look to be so desperate. However, for obvious reasons, she is forbidden territory, and if you call her bluff you are only asking for problems.
tweldy Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I'm jealous. At one of my local branches the ATM gave me a 50 instead of a 20 and I went in to explain the error. The bank manager was astonished that I actually came in to rectify the situation, thanked me all too curtly, and never again gave me the time of day. What bank do you use?
IWalkAlone Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 You did nothing wrong. I've known some single women who wear a ring on the left hand to discourage attention from random men or to be taken more seriously in business situations. There are also married women who get a kick out of attention from attractive men, and will act flirty to get it, but they won't follow through. And of course, good friendly customer service behavior can be very similar to "I'm interested" behavior. But you'll never know for sure until you either ask for a home phone number/date, or she mentions that she's married. There's nothing wrong with clarifying the situation, provided you respect her boundaries once she makes them clear.
Author Rhythm28 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 Ya the original poster is still here. I did ask for the home phone number but she asked what I wanted that for then she realized what I was doing and said, "I'm married." BUT she then asked if I wanted her office number and at that point I was too flabbergasted to even know what was going on. I figured she was just "covering" herself by perhaps offering her number for future banking needs, nothing else. I don't think she was giving me her direct line because she was interested (I could be wrong) but I know when a woman is "into me" and this one definitely was.
whichwayisup Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 (I could be wrong) but I know when a woman is "into me" and this one definitely was. Great. Be flattered, but do NOT call her. You don't want to be her OM, help her cheat on her husband.
Author Rhythm28 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 No need to worry everyone. I won't be looking up the bank's phone anytime soon. In fact, I was so embarassed for hitting on a married woman that I won't be showing my face there again anytime soon. I should know better. As someone else on here said, I should have looked for the ring.
GreenRose Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 No need to worry everyone. I won't be looking up the bank's phone anytime soon. In fact, I was so embarassed for hitting on a married woman that I won't be showing my face there again anytime soon. I should know better. As someone else on here said, I should have looked for the ring. That's what I would do, too!
frannie Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 Ok so she's married. No prob. Move on. This one's taken. My question is: Is my radar broken? Did I misinterpret her signals? I thought I was "in" because I didn't see a picture of the happy couple on her desk. No picture of her husband anywhere. I don't know if I can show my face there again. I don't know... she helped you with some bank-related business and shook your hand... I can't see anything out of the ordinary there. You described her as 'a gorgeous brunette' but um... she's also the bank manager (or whatever she is)... doing her job!! And she was wearing a wedding ring. I can't see anything there was to mis-interpret. People shake hands all the time and it means nothing. Maybe her husband doesn't like having his photograph taken..?
Author Rhythm28 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 I don't know... she helped you with some bank-related business and shook your hand... I can't see anything out of the ordinary there. You described her as 'a gorgeous brunette' but um... she's also the bank manager (or whatever she is)... doing her job!! And she was wearing a wedding ring. I can't see anything there was to mis-interpret. People shake hands all the time and it means nothing. Maybe her husband doesn't like having his photograph taken..? Grrrrrrrrrrr. We're still at this...Um OK well say you went to the grocery store and the kid that bags your frozen pizzas and shampoo reaches over to shake your hand after he's done. Huh? Then you go the video store and the guy shakes your hand after you've rented season 2 of The Sopranos. What? The Jiffy Lube guy wants to shake your want for putting a couple of quarts of 10W30 in your Chevy. Ohhhhhhhhhh kay. What I'm saying is that I found it a little wierd for someone to shake my hand for something petty like a bank statement. Now had I been in there making a $10,000 deposit, signing up for a saftey deposit box, asking for a loan, or investing in some CD's or IRA's then YES a handshake is in order. For a measley bank statement??? C'mon... I've said it before and I'll say it again, this woman gave me "the look". I'm dumb but I ain't that dumb.
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