Does he love me?

[Aussie65]

I am lost and confused.I am inlove with a man that I feel does not love me the same back in return.

Ok,my story is this.I have been with him for some months now and well since we met I found out he keeps in touch with ALL of his ex girlfriends.Also it seems that when ever I met a friend or a family member they would say something in regards to "you must be a good woman to put up with him" then over time after finding he was still messaging his ex's I told him it was either them or me....so he deleted all his ex gf's from his phone etc and I thought that was that but his sister started speaking to me the other day and told me that K as I will call him here has carried on his ex gf's into each relationship he has had and he does in the beginning tries to make things work but after a while he goes back to his old ways of finding other women.

Now...im sure your probably all thinking...move on,this guy sounds like hes a player.I cannot understand why in the past he has wanted other women when he is not a very sexual person to start with and in saying this....he really does not show much interest in it at all and it's over in no time so why has he cheated in the past?Beats the hell out of me...

I know everyone deserves a chance and he has been living with me for the past two months and is home straight after work and has given me no indication he is seeing anyone else but the words from others has really started to play on my mind and I am feeling very insecure.

Last night we went to bed and as usual he made no effort to be intimate with me ..he does hold me for a short time but that's it and because of this I am feeling he does not truly love me and it won't be long until he moves on from me too.

I love this man.....when I ask him about his feelings towards me he gets angry at me and says he doesn't like me asking him this and that he wopuldn't be here if he didn't but don't actions speak louder then words sometimes?

This morning he got up for work and left without even a kiss or goodbye and I am lost....I feel desperate for his love and know I shouldnt but he is giving me so little....what do you think?

[underpants]

Take it from me....get out now while you can.

 

You have been with him only a few months. I am sure you love him, he probably loves you too...on some dysfunctional level. Or maybe you provide a service to him, place to live, emotional support...etc....he is using you.

 

He has to have the attention of other women, ex or other. His friends as well as his actions are telling you this. It is not respectful and not healthy ...for YOU.

 

He gets angry if you try to discuss things that upset you. Well, been there done that.....of course you love him and don't want to 'rock the boat' so to speak, but come on. Relationships need to have communication. If he can't give you respectful communication take it for the HUGE red flag that it is. Sorry.

 

I don't think he can give you what you deserve, thus you finding yourself here. Do you really want to be in a one sided relationship. Not very fulfilling is it? Imagine down the line, 1 yr, 5yrs, 2 kids....you see my point?

 

You can't fix people. His sister even recognized this pattern with him and he has still not been able to address it to himself. Again, you cannot fix him, even with all the love in your heart. He has to want first and then do it for himself....and he hasn't before and most likely won't if ever or for a long time to come. Super rarely does someone change and if they ever break a pattern it isn't without profound loss.

 

I am sorry you stumbled upon a sad soul like this. I makes me really mad, only because I just stepped out of an ex minefield of my own. However, come on, you know you deserve better. That is why you are here.

 

Cut him off, kick him to the curb. Get some cofidence and don't DON'T look back. Because I promise you ...once you draw that line and establish enough strength to end this relationship he will ...oh and he will try to place you into his ex harem. You are so much better then this, be the one that got away.

 

Then go find an awesome bloke. Those Austrailian men are cute. There has to be a whole bunch to choose from. Why settle for one that is:

 

Hung up on ex girlfriends ...to the point of still contacting multiple ones?

 

Not able to communicate or accept a discussion of concerns you may have?

 

Doesn't want to have sex? (personal deal breaker...WTF).

 

You can do better, go get it.