goodguy123 Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Me and my girlfriend broke up about 4 months ago. She has kept in contact w/ me the whole time about once a week, even though she also has a new boyfriend for the past 2 months. So the past week or so she has told me things like she misses me and she even told me once that she wants to come back but she isn't ready, and she doesn't know if she wants to leave this guy. And basically just that she's really confused. But she has told me all along that she will come back one day, but she isn't ready yet, and she doesn't know when she will be. She even told me again today. I thought I was getting close to getting her back and I said some things and she acted a bit wierd afterwards and then later told me again she wants to come back but isn't ready yet. She also has come over to my house the past few days for a little bit. I'm not sure if some of the stuff I said set me back a few steps or not, but I have a way of screwing things up. But anyway, I love this girl so much, and I know she wants to come back one day, and it's been so nice being able to see her everyday, but it is so hard for me at the same time. I mean it's affecting all other aspects of my life including my school and work and I never get anything done because my head is a mess. And I know I'd be better of going no contact, but we basically had no contact for a while besides some quick instant messages, and now I finally seem to have her so close. I feel like if we keep hanging out she'll finally be ready to come back, and if I tell her we shouldn't talk to each other, she's just gonna become closer to this new guy than she already has. How am I supposed to deal with this? The girl I love is so close to coming back (i think), and I'm finally getting to see her again. And how can I go nc when I finally got her back into my life? But at the same time it's so hard to know she's with someone else. And I don't get any work done since we broke up. And I know if I met another girl it would take my mind off things, but I haven't met anyone yet, and I seem to have a hard time meeting girls anyway. But I want this girl back so bad, and I know she will come one day, but I don't know when, and I finally have her back in my life and I just can't tell her to go away. But it consumes my mind and I just don't know what to do anymore. I've contemplated moving away to totally remove myself from the situation, but I still wouldn't be able to do that for a few months. And I've told her I've thought of moving away (she asked if it had to do with her and I said no). So she knows thats a possibility. But I really do love this girl, and I know she still cares about me alot, and that part of her wants to come back. Does anyone have any advice for me being able to cope with this without going nc? And please don't ask why I want to be with her, etc, I just really love this girl, and I know she still loves me.
pleasure&pain Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 From an outsider, I am seeing that you are being played man. She maybe confused right now, but i am guessing she is really keeping you on the side line if anything wrong happens to her current relationship. She keeps you hoping that one day she will come back, but that is just talk not really for certain. My best bet is to actually talk to her straight on whats going on. Tell her how this is not really helping you. It may be hard but she can be either your friend or girlfriend. What she is doing may not be fair to the other guy she is seeing. However it can be that she is not really happy with her current relationship with the other guy. So she maybe moving back and forward to see which one out of you two are better. But thats my view.... Good luck keep us posted on whats happening. I love the outcome story.
RocketMan Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Hi goodguy123, I agree with pleasure&pain. It seems to me like she probably loves/likes/wants to be with you, but shes curious about what else is out there. Its not fair on you for her to make you wait around, and youre not being fair on yourself letting her. Im not sure exactly how i'd go about doing this, but you need to make it clear to her that you aren't going to wait around forever. There are a lot of threads on how NC makes people appreicate what theyve lost, and how people want what they cant have. I wont pretend to have any experience of this, but if you belive what other posts on here say, I'd suggest you get her to make her mind up, either by telling her that, or by simply telling her you're moving on and its not healthy for you to keep hearing from her. Good luck man, and remember, put yourself first. That was my downfall. All i could think about was "whats she feeling" and "whats she up to". Im only just starting to realise that the most important person in my life is ME! Its not selfish to have self respect Keep us updated!
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