coastallinguist Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I'll sum it up.... 15 mo relationship Met in '03 in her country (mexico) Ended up together in '05. First 4 Months together in same place. Absolutely Fantastic. Then it became Long Distance. Saw eachother about every month, month and a half, this involved one of us flying to the other's country. She came for two weeks in May '06 and then for a month in August. At the airport begged me not to "make" her go home. Signals seemed to have been mixed, and I reluctantly put her on the plane. Two weeks later I was there to see her, because I needed it badly. Move forward to the one year anniversary of her leaving the country... it blew up. Her life was already stressful (and remains so) and she was working two jobs and pursuing a Master's. I felt like she didnt have time for me, but had made 'friends' with a new guy. I got jealous because she was fostering a new friendship with a guy I assumed wanted to date her, so I pushed her and she swears she's not dating him, I believe that, but I think she went to him in my absence for emotional support because he could offer hugs and reminds her of a friend who recently died. I believe she cares about him a lot. He sounds like... like he's a lot like me. Everything she says (except that she doesn't feel "in love"... <sigh>) makes me think she still wants to be with me. Things like "I exploded and got tired of everything all at once, and out of my family, my jobs, school, and my boyfriend, the boyfriend was the only thing I could let go of.... but I'm going to be out the house and away from my family soon." Things like, "HaHa, I talked to my sister about you yesterday... her and some of her friends wanted your phone number to call and convince you to come here, teach, and get me back." I told her "I can't talk to you like this, it feels like you're still my girl." ... and her response was, "I am, somehow." Part of me believes she needs my support. But that part's counterpart believes that she's just using me for emotional support because she knows I love her. She asked my opinion about what she should do, and I told her I've refrained from giving her my opinion about her life... because I didn't feel I should interfere ... she said, "maybe you should." Does she want a grand romantic gesture? For me to go down there and reconquer our love? For me to show her she belongs with me? Does she really want the space she asked for? When she seems confused and the root of it seems to be the way she's treated by her family... do I show up and show her what's what? Or do I bow out gracefully and let her figure everything out for herself? Does she need to be taught a lesson? Do I go NO CONTACT and show her what she's missing? Because right now, if we talk, she still gets the emotional support SHE needs... I'm not needy. That's just not me... the support I need is for someone to say "you can do that, come on, apply for it". She needs help making decisions, standing up for herself... NC?
Lostandfound Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 You sure we have not been dating the same girl, christ this is a carbon copy of my exs behavoiur. Everything apart from the undefying love, although she used to say it, NC would be best initially to guage response, alhough I broke this today in response to sms from her.
Recommended Posts