Guest Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I have been involved with a MM. When I met him he told me he was separated. He had been to the lawyers office a couple times, even took me with one time. The day finally came when he was going to hand her the divorce papers. By the next day, he had cast me aside and went back to his wife. He left because he caught her cheating, but she told him the proof he found was all a big joke. She said he took it all out of context. He believes her. He broke up with me in an email. I don't get it. He had told his whole family about me, how he was ready to move on, how she was a cheater, and how he had found someone faithful and honest. Now they are back together. What does that leave me? The woman who never existed? He is going on with his life. Why do I feel like mine is falling apart? I can't believe he fell for her story. I have seen the proof, and it is pretty damning. Is he so desperate to hold on to her and her lifestyle that common sense goes out the window? For three days I haven't been able to eat or sleep. What's worse is everyone makes it seem like it is my fault. They make it seem like I am the one who did something wrong here. He was separated! He had divorce papers! He gave every impression that it was over. Especially with all of his proof she was cheating. But somehow, this is my fault for tampering with a relationship between married people. I am totally NC with this person. I changed my phone numbers. I changed my email. I cut off everyway he can contact me short of showing up at my door. If this is good riddance to bad rubbish, then why can't I stop crying?
Freedom Now Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 You are crying because it is a loss. You had hope of a future with this man and it is natural to be heartbroken when your dreams fall through. I am so sorry for your pain. Peace to you.
redlynne Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Because it hurts . Its cliche but time does heal . Youve seemed to do all the things to keep him away during your healing that will help. Dont worry about what others think you know the truth . The crying may last a little while its mourning what was & what was to be . Post here often ,keep busy ,exercise & if its really hard see a therapist . Focus on your life not his. I am glad you found out sooner not later. Sorry you are going through this &Good luck
Sand&Water Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 RE: When does the sadness stop? The sadness doesn't stop -not until something clicks in your head. The chance of something clicking, accordingly, early on [MM leaving] is slim. You need time, and space to breathe. I understand it was a special loss to you but IF it was meant to be, he would have returned and stayed with you, for love's sake. Sooner or later, hopefully sooner, you will realize the extent of the hurt and pain you endured, the graphics of marriage, the composition of the relationship you had with MM -and finally how he and you were at fault. I say: Why choose to be second best? Take it one day at a time, and focus on your health. Believe me, you won't find happiness while sitting in misery. Have Hope. There is tomorrow. Good Luck, Sand&Water
oyster Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I have been involved with a MM. When I met him he told me he was separated. He had been to the lawyers office a couple times, even took me with one time. The day finally came when he was going to hand her the divorce papers. By the next day, he had cast me aside and went back to his wife. He left because he caught her cheating, but she told him the proof he found was all a big joke. She said he took it all out of context. He believes her. He broke up with me in an email. I don't get it. He had told his whole family about me, how he was ready to move on, how she was a cheater, and how he had found someone faithful and honest. Now they are back together. sorry for your painful experience, just remind yourself it was not meant to be and the issue was him not you. You have given yourself 100% to him and he walks away. Your story highlights and reminds everyone of the danger of dating attached people. Seperation, Serving divorce paper, Divorce day are all major milestones. If he is dumb enough to believe the rubbish, he might be dumb enough to believe that when his wife will be pregnant that it is his. This could be a story of the wife continuing to cheat and get pregnant by the OM and she will make him believe it is his. Time will destroy this man. His wife is evil.
puddleofmud Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Please accept my sincere and heartfelt condolance for your loss. I am hurt for you about the way you were treated and truly understand how horrible you feel. I know it may not sound like much now, but you will live--you will live BETTER, SWEETER, KINDER and HUMBLE--all things about a good person who has gone through tough times. All things about a person who will attract great things to themselves and their life! By this you have much to look forward. As much as your heart hurts right now--don't shut it down-leave a little place open. It will get bigger and bigger as the days go by. Leave it open for the many blessings to come. Those blessing come to 100 fold to a person who already knows how to give such!!!! Sweet Blessings to you!
frannie Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 I'm really sorry for your pain, and hope that you get through it soon. Don't worry about what other people are thinking and who they are blaming; they're doing what they need to do to avoid their own pain I should think. And yes, I expect your ex wanted to believe anything so he could get back with her. Never underestimate the power of history and a marriage (however separated) to draw someone back in.
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