shyguy101 Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 i dated someone for 6 days..after only knowing her 2 weeks...and hanging out 4 times total...well she decided we rushed it..i didnt handle it too well and said some**** that could have been worse but wasnt..she still held it against me for 3 days straight..well we finally talked bout it.. shes confused how she feels bout me..she doesnt know if she likes me cause of how i acted...she said it scares her how much i like her and we havent known eachother too long so i dont know..is she confused how she feels bout me? how much she likes me? how i hurt her and it made her thoughts change on me..i really dont know wtf to think...im soooooo confused myself but one thing i know is..i like her alot and i hate that this is happening..i need input and i need on advice on how i should handle this situation..cause im making myself lose sleep over it...badly...
gfto Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 is she confused how she feels bout me? No. Women know how they feel about a guy. When they like you, they want to be with you. When they don't like you, they'll give you one of many different "I'm not interested" lines, such as "I'm confused."
Walk Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 I think I'd be feeling the same way this girl is. You've been on 4 dates, and you've known her how long now? She came to you and asked for something she needed, and you're saying you acted like she was trying to rob you. If she asked you in the future for something she needed and it wasn't exactly what you wanted, would you throw an even bigger fit? Would your behavior just gets worse the longer you date the person? So she's decided to give you a second chance. She's giving you the opportunity to prove that you aren't showing her big red flags of abusive tendencies. She's testing to see if you can be mature and adult in dealing with a problem that arises. Allowing you to show her you're a capable man who can communicate and work through a problem without resorting to harsh words or out bursts. She's giving you the opportunity to prove this was an unusual outburst that's not the real you, or it'll prove that this was the real you and the "nice" guy she see's is the facade. But I keep coming back to one thought. You don't even know her. 4 dates and you're losing sleep over this. You're throwing fits that she wanted to take things slower. You're infatuated with the girl, that's normal, but it seems like you're placing all emphasis on her. That if she rejects you, then you're chance at a happy life is gone forever. You know that's not true. She's someone you click with for what you know about her right now. But you don't even know a quarter of who this stranger really is on the inside. I know this is cliche, but lighten up. If she leaves your life right now, you aren't doomed to be unhappy forever. You've got a life, right? Live your life. If she chooses to be a part of that, then great for her. If she doesn't, then it isn't the end of the world. There are other women out there who will be thrilled to have the chance to be with you. Don't play games with this girl... but you've gotta kick this desperate overwhelming need for her. It's a scary trait to present to a person you hardly know.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 i dated someone for 6 days..after only knowing her 2 weeks...and hanging out 4 times total...well she decided we rushed it..i didnt handle it too well and said some**** that could have been worse but wasnt..she still held it against me for 3 days straight..well we finally talked bout it.. shes confused how she feels bout me..she doesnt know if she likes me cause of how i acted...she said it scares her how much i like her and we havent known eachother too long so i dont know..is she confused how she feels bout me? how much she likes me? how i hurt her and it made her thoughts change on me..i really dont know wtf to think...im soooooo confused myself but one thing i know is..i like her alot and i hate that this is happening..i need input and i need on advice on how i should handle this situation..cause im making myself lose sleep over it...badly... You hardly know this girl, you have not gone on many dates with her either. I don't think its something worth losing sleep over, its nothing serious with each other because you have not gone on many dates with each other. Just go with the flow, don't fall into her games, let her come to you.
Author shyguy101 Posted January 11, 2007 Author Posted January 11, 2007 well..it seemed to be more than that..she said she would take care of me and never hurt me..and she said many other things..everything just seemed so right at the time..and now shes saying to me.. youre my buddy?? lol whats that stuff..one minute shes making out with me..we date for a lil bit ..and now im your buddy cause of something stupid i said on the computer..blah whatever..you guys are right..but i still like her..and i actually bought into ...words where she had me convinced she was different from other girls..telling me shes gonna teach me everything...be there for me..not hurt me..and look what shes done so easily already..im not attatched easily but to her some reason..i took everything she said to me..on a spoon and i ate it...and im not normally like that..so im lost..and i havent felt the same for 4 days now...it just hurts me so much..knowing i still like her..and to her..im just stupid for what i said..how do i stop this? how do i get her back..cause im willing to do anything that wouldnt furthermore screw this up..im confused as hell..
Walk Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 she said she would take care of me and never hurt me.. telling me shes gonna teach me everything...be there for me..not hurt me..and look what shes done so easily already... Call me cynical, but when I hear these types of things from a person I'm dating then I run for the hills. I equate it to those people who always tell you to trust them, and have to keep repeating they're being honest. It's a tell tale sign that they're lying through their teeth. She's either lying or she's incredibly naive. Of course she's going to hurt you at some point. That can't be avoided when you get involved with another person. It's how you deal with the hurt you inflict that determines what kind of person you are. My question is, do you believe she's a lying, or is she just so obtuse that she still believes fairies and unicorns are walking the earth? Maybe she's just incredibly immature still? Maybe she doesn't know how to deal with the situation so she emotionally withdrew from you? Or maybe she's too immature to just tell you she's not interested anymore? If she's just naive, then you will need to stand up and dictate the course of this relationship. She might not know a better way to deal with the feelings and hurt and is emotionally withdrawing in order to protect herself. She might be avoiding the problem from lack of experience and not knowing what to do. My suggestion. Point blank ask her, in person, face to face. Deal with this like a man. (NOT by text message, IM, or email. Phone is less than desirable, but last ditch measure if face to face absolutely won't work.) Be confident, open, and honest with her. If she says she just wants friends, explain it isn't what you want, and leave. Don't hang around hoping she'll change her mind. It won't work. You'll continue to get hurt. Let her know you're out of her life and then do it. If she decides she wanted more than friends from you, then she'll contact you. If she's really lost interest in you, then she won't. But whatever you do... do NOT let her stick you in the firends zone. Risk losing her to get what you really want. But don't play it safe just to get the bottom dredges of attention from her. p.s. I'm assuming you apologized for the incident on the computer, right?
Sand&Water Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 RE: Shyguy101, Girl . . . I mean guy, be a man. An up-beat man, with charm and confidence. This is Numero Uno. Numero Due: Don't agonize under the pressure. Rejuvenate yourself. Numero Tre: I believe you should continue to pursue her. However, this time around, don't say/do something insulting/stupid. Stand up for yourself, take it slowly and, have a Man Shield [ -lighten up on the investment]. Above all, be your natural self. Good Luck. Regards, Sand&Water
Author shyguy101 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Posted January 12, 2007 yes i did apologize.. yes i know all bout the "friend zone" my buddies been in it for years..but hes never kissed this girl..shes always just thought of em as a brother..but me with the girl im havin probs now..she used to have feelings for me..so i hold very little hope..i also find out that one of my longtime friends shows..her our AIM convos making me look worse and tries to talk bad bout me..to make himself look better..now she just flat out doesnt have feelings for me..shes told 2 people "not really im sorry to say" bout that question..but my buddy messed it up..for me..i cant even call em my friends..its just a sad and pathetic situation..i cant believe he would do that..he likes her himself and hes in a diff state..why would he just do that? he moved last year...but why would he do this? he screwed up something that could have been good..what is it with girls seriously? they complain they want a nice guy..they get one and they toss em away..i just dont get it..i hate to think she broke up with me..cause i wouldnt have sex with her right away..i unoticably cut her off..she seemed to not care..but prob thought more bout it..girls are so confusing..i dont get it..telling people her feelings changed for me.. how the hell does this happen in a matter of 2 weeks? I DONT GET IT... im lost..and this whole situation has me pissed off..
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