Guest Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I've been dating me boyfriend for a year. Right from the beginning he told me he knew I was the one. We both love each other very much. We are now living together for a few months. About a month ago the unexpected happened, his Dad got really sick and within a week a past away. It was so sad. He has moments when he gets emotional and I always encourage him to let it out. Once he went back to work, he went full force of course, I figured to get his mind off of things. He'd work late and then come home and do more work. But now, he's replaced work with games, video games. Basically now, he comes home from work (late) and I have dinner waiting for him, we eat and then he disappears in the office for hours, doing research, looking up games, equipment, whatever. I usually pass out before he comes to bed. I just want to make sure that this is most likely his was of grieving, and not that he is falling out of love with me. I love him so much and I want to be there for him. I know everyone deals with grieving differently, like I just want to grab him every night and hold him all night, so he knows he is loved and he's not alone. Please, let me know if this is just the way for him to grieve (I should mention he is computer geek).
LN99 Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Have you talked to him about everything that has happened? Or, have you told him that if he ever wants to talk, he can come to you? What he is feeling now is probably shock. I lost my dad about 3 yrs ago unexpectedly. I was not myself for a good yr afterwards. To some extent, I'm still not myself. But it gets easier over time. I shut a lot of people out in that process of grieving. It had nothing to do with not loving them or anything like that. I just was in so much shock that I was numb to everything around me. I was just existing. It just took time to absorb what happened until I could deal with it. All you can really do is be there for your bf. He will appreciate it. Also, have him talk to you or someone else. I know I couldn't talk to my bf when this all happened because he had no clue what I was going thru. But, once I found someone I could relate to, it helped the healing process. Being supportive helps, even if you don't know exactly what they are going thru. Hopefully in time, he will get through this.
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I lost my own Dad 3 months ago and from what I'm going through now, I would say he's grieving. I sort of have dropped out of interacting with people, and am going through the motions a lot, even in my relationship. HTTH.
norajane Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 He is not falling out of love with you. He is dealing with his loss by immersing himself in work and the computer at home so as not to do too much thinking right now. It sounds like you're doing the right things by being there for him. You might want to suggest him going to a therapist to help him with his loss if things don't get much better in a few months.
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