Woggle Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I think that men can reduce their drama with women by quite a bit by dating nerdy women and I don't mean nerdy as an insult. The problem with some men is that we tend to go out to bars and clubs to meet women and these places are fine if you want to have some fun but not good if you want to find a helthy relationship. They are filled with women that just want to screw as many guys as possible and women with issues. I was a bartender once and I met so many women who were just screwed up in the head. When you get into a relationship with a club hopper she will get bored and start to crave drama and excitment again so she will dump you. Nerdy women on the other hand are deep thinkers who contemplate life who you can have a nice conversation with. They generally crave peace and tranquility and are not addicted to drama. Quite a few of them really are beautiful as well but they don't play up their looks and they are usually very kind and caring people. It seems that hanging out at the library,museum or bookstore is a better bet to find somebody than a club or a bar. My wife is a nerd and so are most of her friends and they all seem to be stable people in happy and healthy relationships who are not addicted to drama. Men if you want to find love try dating a nerdy woman instead of a club hopper.
bab Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Sure, but can't we be refered to as intelligent women instead?
Author Woggle Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 Sure, but can't we be refered to as intelligent women instead? In a way yes but certain women are very intelligent but use it for evil. Gold diggers know exactly what they are doing. Nerds use their brains for good.
My Fair Katie Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Well, I just wanted to say, as a nerdy woman, I feel perfectly appreciated, but thanks for the nerdy woman concern. I've also never had trouble meeting men (coffee shops, book stores, music stores, outdoor festivals). I do agree with you though, nerd love. But don't think we nerds don't have our own drama. Ever see nerds debate who was the greater Russian author, Dostoevsky or Tolstoy?* It can devolve into an all out cat fight, glasses fly! *Dostoevsky is the correct answer.
princessa Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Nerdy women can go out to bars a lot and be hot and still be nerdy. But if they're indeed nerdy they're usually smart enough to know now to pick up guys at those places
SmoochieFace Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 But don't think we nerds don't have our own drama. Ever see nerds debate who was the greater Russian author, Dostoevsky or Tolstoy?* It can devolve into an all out cat fight, glasses fly! *Dostoevsky is the correct answer. That sort of 'drama' is tolerable at least. I would rather argue over 'intellectual' subjects than blather on about who's screwing who on 'Desperate Housewives' or some other waste of RF transmission.
magichands Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Sure, but can't we be refered to as intelligent women instead? Even intelligence is subjective (I read you eloquently defending rarified forms of beauty just today). Having said that, I would never dream of getting in a catfight with My Fair Katie. Dostoevsky it is.
bab Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 In a way yes but certain women are very intelligent but use it for evil. Gold diggers know exactly what they are doing. Nerds use their brains for good. Okay, I can accept that. The problem with your advice is that "nerdy" women generally don't date guys that aren't of comprable nerdiness, hence it won't work for your average joe. On the other hand, I do know quite a few nerdy guys who have flussie gfs. Because there are alot of women's issues that come up in academia, there have been lots of studies about lives of women with higher degrees. What they've found is that the majority of women who have higher degrees marry men that also have higher degrees, while men with higher degrees generally marry women without them that play a support role in their H's careers. (Note: I'm not equating intelligence or nerdiness with higher degrees, but it's still interesting.)
Author Woggle Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 I guess that is true but maybe it would not be such a bad thing for a man to expand his horizens. I am kind of weird because I can feel equally comfortable at a sports bar or an art musuem. I have broad interests so I have dated plenty of club hoppers and to me nerds are hands down the better choice. In many ways my wife is the same as me. She is a nerd but not an elitist snob so we can do almost anything an enoy ourselves.
bab Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Even intelligence is subjective (I read you eloquently defending rarified forms of beauty just today). Having said that, I would never dream of getting in a catfight with My Fair Katie. Dostoevsky it is. True. Great painters, writers, musicians, and scientists can all be considered intelligent and yet deficient in other areas.
bab Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I guess that is true but maybe it would not be such a bad thing for a man to expand his horizens. I am kind of weird because I can feel equally comfortable at a sports bar or an art musuem. I have broad interests so I have dated plenty of club hoppers and to me nerds are hands down the better choice. In many ways my wife is the same as me. She is a nerd but not an elitist snob so we can do almost anything an enoy ourselves. I don't think that is strange at all. It makes the two of you seem well rounded. So maybe you are really recommending a well rounded woman instead of a 1-dimensional woman?
PandorasBox Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 My boss is "nerdy" and so is his wife. They compliment each other very nicely. They also put each other on a pretty high pedistool. Well he puts her there more than she puts him there. Or so he does verbally anyway.
Storyrider Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Sure, but can't we be refered to as intelligent women instead? I can relate to not wanting to whole heartedly adopt the nerd label. But intelligence doesn't quite get at the whole picture. It is about what she cares about, how she presents herself, how she spends her time, her sense of humor. who was the greater Russian author, Dostoevsky or Tolstoy?* It can devolve into an all out cat fight, glasses fly! *Dostoevsky is the correct answer. A tough call. And Chekov might be the dark horse. Having said that, I would never dream of getting in a catfight with My Fair Katie. Dostoevsky it is. Do elephants participate in cat fights? I might like to watch.
IWalkAlone Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 In my experience, nerdy women can be addicted to drama too. My wife is a nerd and so are most of her friends and they all seem to be stable people in happy and healthy relationships who are not addicted to drama. That's the delemma. Most happy healthy women are in stable relationships - which means they're unavailable. The "available" women tend to be drama queens. I'm starting to thing that polyamory makes more sense.
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 In my experience, nerdy women can be addicted to drama too. Word. Being a nerd doesn't preclude growing up in an abusive home, molestation and rape, and other traumas that tend to lead to someone being a "drama addict" as they are so termed. I'm a nerd and I'm still a walking train wreck. There goes THAT theory, Woggle.
Sand&Water Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 RE: In my experience, nerdy women can be addicted to drama too. True. Well, at least from observation. Distinctly, though, there is a difference between aggressive and passive-nerdy woman. Often, nerdy -or for a few intelligent woman place themselves out of radar range; blend themselves with the normal folks. Example: Marie Curie (1934). Oh wait, we're talking 21st Century. Sand&Water
Storyrider Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 It seems to me that in childhood, a girl would start to move into the niche that is most natural for her to fill or "exploit" given her predilections and interests. And any extreme could be potentially unhealthy, from nerd to bimbo/beauty queen. And surely there are people who fall more inbetween like the nerd-slut or the nerd-druggy or the nerd-beauty queen or the nerd-church lady. What is the opposite of a nerd? Is it a matter of intellectual vs. non-intellectual orientation?
My Fair Katie Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Okay, I can accept that. The problem with your advice is that "nerdy" women generally don't date guys that aren't of comprable nerdiness, hence it won't work for your average joe. Very true. I'm not sure I'd label My Fair Husband as a nerd, but he is most definitely a geek and brilliant at what he does. He may not be up to snuff on literary pursuits, but he can mount my harddrive any day.
milvushina Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 What is the opposite of a nerd? Is it a matter of intellectual vs. non-intellectual orientation? I think the opposite of a nerd would be someone who is uninterested in learning anything if they don't have to. Someone lacking intellectual curiosity.
monkey00 Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 But what really defines a nerd? you can be intellectually smart You can be a gaming/book nerd digging yourself into such hobbies constantly. Nerd or not, some women can look simply amazing if they changed their hair, or fashion even.
magichands Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Do elephants participate in cat fights? I might like to watch. Only when it's a matter of extreme principle. I don't like to risk claw-marks on my trunk.
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I like nerdy women. I admit I am a sucker for a woman in glasses. Something about intelligence to me that makes a woman "hotter."
magichands Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Often, nerdy -or for a few intelligent woman place themselves out of radar range; blend themselves with the normal folks. Example: Marie Curie (1934). She was working with pretty dangerous stuff, and ultimately she paid the price. Live hard, die young (my philosophy, too). What is the opposite of a nerd? My guess is that you watch what a nerd is attracted to. Then again, if nerds repel nerds, then you might have some kinky bobbing action right there. Maybe I have it all wrong. , but he can mount my harddrive any day. When you warm real operating systems up, the juicy bits mount you automagically. Nothing wrong with getting down and dirty, though. Someone lacking intellectual curiosity. Can you fake that? I want to try, if it will make me hot. Or, at least, lukewarm.
Storyrider Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 My guess is that you watch what a nerd is attracted to. Then again, if nerds repel nerds, then you might have some kinky bobbing action right there. Maybe I have it all wrong. You do have it all wrong. Nerd attracts nerd. It takes one to know one, in the carnal sense. Can you fake that? I want to try, if it will make me hot. Or, at least, lukewarm. Could you fake it as an airhead, Magic? Do you have to be smart enough to fake it, or can you be too smart? And would there be a net gain if you were hotter to some and less hot to others? I suppose you would have to perform some utilitarian calculus to find out.
Storyrider Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 See Exhibit A: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1045688&posted=1#post1045688
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