neci Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Hi guys, Well, its been a while but here I am again, maybie you remember the posts I made a few months ago, but probably not . Basically.. Just as background, in october I broke up with this girl, I really loved her, my first love I guess (Im 19) its really more accurate to say she broke up with me, the reasons were complex and somewhat convoluted but there you go, I still loved her very much and had a really painful couple of months, we still talked (we had been good friends beforehand) but eventually I couldnt take it anymore, whereas I always knew I liked her when we were friends before and I was fairly certain that things would progress, now I was just chasing something that was gone, living on a dream so to speak. So I tried NC, this lasted about 3 weeks, afterwhich it kinda broke down, she started poking me on msn etc.. upset I wouldnt talk to her etc. (as mentioned we were good friends) and I cracked . Since then we have talked more and more, and whilst I feel better than I did, really all I want is her back, its been about 2 weeks since we started talking again. Now this was a semi LDR, as in about 1hr journey, basically we had no cause to see each other in person during the period of breakup > now. Now this is what I need help with, it has become apparent that we will infact see each other very soon.. We have very similar interests / tastes and she mentioned that she was going to a concert that I was also going to, she suggested we meet up beforehand and catch up etc. She seemed very enthusiastic about seeing me, which makes me happy of course. But I cannot hope to think this is what I would love it to mean, in the time we have talked she has not expressed any regret at the breakup, going as far as to chat about other guys she has met and to enquire into my love life (non existant aside from random flirting since her)... So I will be spending the day/evening with her this Saturday... And thats it really, how do you think I should behave or react to her? Should I do as I desperatly want to and make a move to get her back? I cannot help but think that if this doesnt go as I would hope it to I will just get hopelessly depressed again... Its going to be so wierd getting off the train as I used to and not having the same reaction, rather just a friendly hello. I really dont know how I will react to the situation, Im really just confused, really could use some advice with this, Im really lost, as much as anything I want to share though.. Sure you know the feeling. So yeah, thanks for reading that, any advice on my pending situation? Neci
D-Lish Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Just play it cool when you see her. Did you already agree to meeting up with her beforehand? I would definetely tell her before you agree meeting up that you have to check what your plans are first. Don't seem too eager (even though you might be). Above all else- when you do meet- keep things light and fun. Don't bring up the relationship at all... this is very important. If she brings it up, that's okay. But you shouldn't. Okay- and this is the biggie... Don't go in with any expectations. That could be a killer for you. you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment. Just act very happy and confident. DOn't go overboard paying attention to her. You want to make her wonder what you're thinking. Let her take the lead. Good luck.
Author neci Posted January 10, 2007 Author Posted January 10, 2007 Thanks for the adice D-Lish, Situation has kinda progressed, was just chatting today and she tells me that she will not be able to get home due to the gig finishing after the last train.. And basically she asks if she can stay at my place for the night (the thing is in my home town). So now Im looking at this too... Whilst im happy to have the opportunity to spend more time with her its just gonna be so wierd... Anyone got any advice? Im really getting kinda lost now... I wanna hope so bad but I dont want to let myself...
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Hmm, I guess if she stays at your place- you'll have an opportunity to find out what she wants. Maybe it's a good time to take the opportunity to have a long conversation. Still, I'd play it cool. I'd let her see how happy you are- and let her initiate the convo...and least the serious stuff. Protect yourself though. She's proven to be a bit unstable with her decisions in the past, so you need to make sure she's in it for the long haul if she wants to come back.
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