Guest Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 This woman and I met and had an instant connection. I didn't believe in love at first sight until I met her. It's like we knew each other forever. After a couple of months being just friends and occasionally talking, I found out she was married, but very unhappy. She had already asked her husband for a divorce and was in the process of going through it when we met. So we started dating while she was separated, but still divorcing. We had a great connection, did everything together, and were best friends. I have been married, dated, and been in a long term relationship. I have never had a psychic connection like she and I have. I truly believe we are soulmates. Well, after a six months of dating, she starts saying how she was scared because she was jumping from one relationship to another, but that she still loved me and wanted to be with me. Then the holidays come, and right after Thanksgiving, her and her soon to be ex-husband have a big fight. She goes over there to talk things out and never returns. She calls me the next day and says she was going back to him. That the pressures of kids being upset and holidays makes her think she should really be with him. All she did was talk about how much she hated him and all the ways they were opposite. I was very confused. I didn't contact her and she would contact me every few days for a couple weeks. She would tell me she really did love me, but she needed to do this. That I didn't understand the pressure she was under. I waited over 3 weeks more for her to contact me and she texted me out of the blue to tell me she misses me. After that, we started talking on the phone a bit because I wanted some questions answered. She tells me she loves me, and is miserable where she is, but she needs to figure things out and doesn't know where life is going to take her. She says she's confused. Here's my question.. she never calls or texts me. The last week, I have been the one calling her. She always answers and talks to me alot when I do call. Last night, she tells me it is probably best if we don't talk anymore so her "husband" doesn't find out and get upset. But then she sends me mixed signals because she says she would always answer my calls, doesn't regret us happening at all and loves me. Should I just go away? Should I wait for her to call me? Should I continue being friends with her and holding out hope that she may someday get her divorce and we can be together? Am I just being played for her ego?
Lostandfound Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 The absolute best advice to give here is very simple. Leave her be, believe me if she wants you, and really loves you, she will not leave you alone for long, It is always difficult when there are kids involved, (you did say i think there were kinds involved), and she knows more than anyone, being in a loveless marriage with the kids, OR being with someone she truly loves , maybe with the kids, what the choice is. If she knows you are there she will keep coming and then going back, doing no good to you. As long as she knows how you feel, she will keep doing it, The best thing to do is to wait and see, a love she wants and knows she can have is never as stronger emotion than one she knows she wants and could be losing, or even lost.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Catering to a confused woman is a recipe for disaster. The fact that she misled you about being married is a huge red flag. As far as soul mates, I think it's ludicrous to assume there is such a thing expecially in this short period of time. It's easy to fall in love and make a connection with someone, especially when there is lot's of emotional conversations involved. Perhaps you two are very compatible, but she is married and this is a bad situation. I would advise you to be very cautious, if you can find the strength to do so. You will find many people on LS that have gone through this dilemma and it's never good. Cheers and good luck!
shawn_68 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Last night, she tells me it is probably best if we don't talk anymore so her "husband" doesn't find out and get upset. I think your situation has trouble written all over it. It may be hard, but I think you need to walk away. Maybe you two will run into one another again later in life. Stranger things have happend. But, clearly, now is not the right time.
Guest Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 This is an update.. I followed the NC rule. We normally both pick up our kids at the same school so when I went there yesterday to pick mine up, I didn't say hi and she walked by me like I didn't exist. I was ok with that and figured we would have no more contact. I picked up my son and left. Then today, I had other plans so did not show up to pick him up. What do you know.. she calls me. She says she was wondering why I wasn't there. What is that? She says she wants no contact.. I give it to her and then she calls me. Mixed signals, ugh!
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