Davis Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Some of you know my story. My gal dumped me about 4 months ago for her crankster boyfriend. Six weeks of NC and she saw me with another girl, said she changed, begged for me to take her back. I did. A month later I got into her myspace with her password and she at least "played" around with this guy during Thanksgiving. Which she denied, so I went out and banged my ex. This last friday nite she was out at the bar totally drunk and made out with one guy and probably did more with another. I was suspicious and I found this out by again using her password into her account at 3:30 am this morning. The last I heard with her was a text yesterday afternoon. No calls, nothing. I last texted her about 10pm last nite. Ok, ok! No bitching about how I should not have been in her account! I know from the outside I sound like an idiot, but I do care for her. Regardless, my friends (and I agree) that the only thing I can do to save my dignity is to not respond to her at all, ever. I would love to tell her she's a whore!! Of course I am sick to my stomach. Any other advice on what to do?
blind_otter Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Some of you know my story. My gal dumped me about 4 months ago for her crankster boyfriend. Six weeks of NC and she saw me with another girl, said she changed, begged for me to take her back. I did. A month later I got into her myspace with her password and she at least "played" around with this guy during Thanksgiving. Which she denied, so I went out and banged my ex. First bit of advice: never do retaliatory f*cking. It always bites you in the ass. Potentially, literally as well as figuratively. Depending on the person you are f*cking in retaliation for whatever slight. If you hadn't gone out and "banged your ex" you would be getting a heap more sympathy from me, at least. Of course I am sick to my stomach. Any other advice on what to do? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Pick better quality individuals to date. Yes, this sounds harsh. But what did you expect from someone who already cheated on you once? Unless she's gotten some serious therapy since you broke up, she'll likely keep repeating the cheating behavior. So that was bad jugement on your part.
Guest Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Some of you know my story. My gal dumped me about 4 months ago for her crankster boyfriend. Six weeks of NC and she saw me with another girl, said she changed, begged for me to take her back. I did. A month later I got into her myspace with her password and she at least "played" around with this guy during Thanksgiving. Which she denied, so I went out and banged my ex. This last friday nite she was out at the bar totally drunk and made out with one guy and probably did more with another. I was suspicious and I found this out by again using her password into her account at 3:30 am this morning. The last I heard with her was a text yesterday afternoon. No calls, nothing. I last texted her about 10pm last nite. Ok, ok! No bitching about how I should not have been in her account! I know from the outside I sound like an idiot, but I do care for her. Regardless, my friends (and I agree) that the only thing I can do to save my dignity is to not respond to her at all, ever. I would love to tell her she's a whore!! Of course I am sick to my stomach. Any other advice on what to do? First off I am sorry that you have to endure this. What I want you to think is why you would want to be with a person like this anyway. Aren't you better than that? All she is doing is showing you how much she disrespects you. If I were you I would walk away from this person and never talk to her again. Another thing is don't get back at her by sinking to her level and having sex with someone just to get even. I don't think that is fair to your ex and it doesn't make you a better person at all.
Author Davis Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 Hey Blind. You're right, I should not have done my ex. I changed my behavior after that. I thought she was a good one. Everyone loves her. She did start therapy, that is the main reason I got back together with her. She probably hasnt even told her therapist about what she does. So, I guess it is best to ignore/avoid her and not tell her off?
blind_otter Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Go total NC with her. I mean, snooping is bad, but only when you find something wrong, right? I would let her know that you found out about her behavior and that you will not tolerate being cuckholded like that. It's good you reconize that acting out sexually is always a bad idea. I don't blame you, if you're young -- when I was young, I was pretty sexually irresponsible myself, in terms of playing with emotions and whatnot. I would avoid her at all costs, if I were you. I hope the next one isn't such a dud.
timo Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 if some1 beated u once its her fault but if she beated twice its ur fault y u trusted her hey dude go ahead she is playing she dun know love anymore she dun know anything ,save ur dignity dun think about her anymore she doesn care for ya so dun even talk to her leave her n c ur life
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. B_O, you could have stopped there. That says it all. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they can cheat on you, they don't really love and respect you. And if you take them back, they will cheat again.
jusified Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 dude, don't screw your ex to get back at her....i guess its too late and you know that already. She sounds messed up, walk away.
Author Davis Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 Ok, Ok! Back during Thanksgiving I knew she was screwing around. I had it in my mind that I was done with her. So I hooked up with my ex. No, it was not right, wasnt fair, did not make me feel better and was immature. I understand that everyone. Good points everyone. It's hard for me to accept that a pretty girl that is successful, everyone likes, seems to have it together could be so ****ed up emotionally. Regardless, I know they come in all shapes and colors. I should be angry. You're right, she ****ed me over twice and would certainly do it again. My upset gut and feeling that I had all the time with her was correct all along. Hey Blind, you think I should tell her I found out?? That is just opening the door for her to deny it, lie and tell me she's sorry, it was "not like that" and she was drunk and it was a full moon and .... that's what she did the first time. I think im not going to give her the time of day or tell her anything. We have not talked at all, I haven't told her im done or that i know and im going to just walk. She knows what she did.
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Hey Blind, you think I should tell her I found out?? That is just opening the door for her to deny it, lie and tell me she's sorry, it was "not like that" and she was drunk and it was a full moon and .... that's what she did the first time. I think im not going to give her the time of day or tell her anything. We have not talked at all, I haven't told her im done or that i know and im going to just walk. She knows what she did. Good idea, just leave it alone and leave her alone. Don't ask her anything, don't tell her anything and move on.
Author Davis Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 She sent me and email last Tuesday and said that since I hadn't called her i must have "heard something" about her and this other guy the previous friday night. In a nut shell, she said "it was not planned, she felt chemistry like she had "never felt with anyone in her whole life" with him, she never loved me, would never fall in love with me and it was my fault she was fcking around because of my insecurities and checking on her all the time." I had to check on her because she had cheated before and obviously she was doing it again. That was the last I heard. I have not contacted her nor replied. Now that I am starting to clear my head, I can see that she is nothing but a 35 year old party slut. Her pattern is sucking a guy in, telling him he's so great, showering him with compliments and affection all the while she is setting up with another guy, fcking an old flame or fcking a new one behind the new guys back until he finds out (like i did) and then she blows them out (like she did to me). My female friend says there is nothing to do accept keep my dignity and pride and the only way to do that is never give her the time of day or have any contact with her, that i should let her think i dumped her because i was onto her game and was not willing to be treated like that. Still hurts to get dumped, dooped and find that the girl you cared about is a piece of sht. Any other comments or suggestions? What do I do with her miscellaneous clothes, earrings and stuff? None of it is of real value and she never asked for anything back the first time we broke up.
magichands Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 What do I do with her miscellaneous clothes, earrings and stuff? None of it is of real value and she never asked for anything back the first time we broke up. If you can't incorporate any of it into your wardrobe, then I would just box it up. Or throw it out.
riobikini Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 re: Davis: " Of course I am sick to my stomach. Any other advice on what to do?" Stop snooping in her account (it will always cause you grief). And wash your hands of the whole mess and walk in the *other* direction. Make sense? -Rio
Rooster_DAR Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 She sent me and email last Tuesday and said that since I hadn't called her i must have "heard something" about her and this other guy the previous friday night. In a nut shell, she said "it was not planned, she felt chemistry like she had "never felt with anyone in her whole life" with him, she never loved me, would never fall in love with me and it was my fault she was fcking around because of my insecurities and checking on her all the time." I had to check on her because she had cheated before and obviously she was doing it again. That was the last I heard. I have not contacted her nor replied. Now that I am starting to clear my head, I can see that she is nothing but a 35 year old party slut. Her pattern is sucking a guy in, telling him he's so great, showering him with compliments and affection all the while she is setting up with another guy, fcking an old flame or fcking a new one behind the new guys back until he finds out (like i did) and then she blows them out (like she did to me). My female friend says there is nothing to do accept keep my dignity and pride and the only way to do that is never give her the time of day or have any contact with her, that i should let her think i dumped her because i was onto her game and was not willing to be treated like that. Still hurts to get dumped, dooped and find that the girl you cared about is a piece of sht. Any other comments or suggestions? What do I do with her miscellaneous clothes, earrings and stuff? None of it is of real value and she never asked for anything back the first time we broke up. Now she's rubbing your nose in it and being spiteful. She is a loser, and you know this. My EX did the exact same things to me and she was the same age as yours. Like many other women out there they use you up for all the attention they can get and seek someone else out to replace you before you can even blink an eye. She is the problem not you, and don't let her make you feel bad or it's any of your fault. IMO I think you had a good reason to snoop providing she cheated on you previously, so don't sweat it. Good luck, there is a sea of better ladies out there.
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Maybe I am not one to judge, and I am not juding but in my opinion it does sound like you should just walk away, she should not have been cheating on you with several others, but it seems like what you are describing is on her part just one night stands, indication of not being ready for a relationship. And as for you hooking up with an ex just to get back at her, hmmm how does that person feel, did you let her know that you were just with her to make yourself feel better. Why do you have to snoop is this done on a regular basis? Also about ther stuff she left behind after all it is hers, just give it back.. and be done with it!
Sup Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 One suggestion, you say she finds someone else, well, If you ever find out who she's going out with, you could warn the NEW guy what she really is like, and has done to you. Don't do it around her, just when he's away from her, give the next guy the heads up, and so on. Don't do that in revenge, of course.
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