Does he want to be with me or not?

[Guest]

I'm so confused. My boyfriend of two years is driving me crazy with his indecision. About six months ago I broke up with him because I have a hard time trusting guys (been cheated on) and I felt we were getting too close. We got back together after about a month- he told me he couldn't imagine me not in his life. We talk on the phone every day, see eachother four days a week or so (he had a kid and we work different schedules) and we have a great sex life. Well about a month ago I found out he had been sneaking around to see this girl he met thru a friend. She has a boyfriend but he still kept her from me. So I broke up with him when I found out about this. We were apart about 3 weeks and he kept calling begging my forgiveness and said nothing happened between him nad the girl and let me meet her and her boyfriend (I believed him after meeting them) so we got back together.

 

Since this summer I am planning on buying a house (house is in my family but not ready for sale yet) and I told my boyfriend that his son could have his own bedroom adn the attic for a playroom there. We weren't going to move in together but they could stay with me on the weekends and in the summer during the week often if they wanted. he would be responsible for he and his son's food there and wouldn't be allowed to move a bunch of stuff in. But those were our plans. He's even talked about how he wants to marry me nad his son sees me like a 2nd mom.

 

Well my boyfriend started complaining I don t spend enough time with him a few months ago and wanted to break up with me. At the time (before I found out abotu the girl he lied to me about) i was really in love with him and I didn't want him to leave me so I talked him out of it. I told him I"d try to spend more time with him. Well I HAVE tried. We just went thru christmas and it was nice. My boyfriend doens't have much money being a single dad and I try to encourage him to spend most of his $ on his son. Well he bought me a $200 bracelet for christmas (which he shouldn't have done!) I also bought nice things (but not as expensive) for him and his son. To give you an idea of how little money his family has his mom buys his son a few pairs of pants and one small toy and bought my boyfriend a sweatshirt from wal-mart.

 

A few weekends ago we were at his house (he lives with roommmates) and he kept telling me he loves me and being very sweet. But then a few days later he is mean/rude to me. He will get mad that I don't see him enough (he thinks you should be together 24/7 and will say I don't love him etc. Last monday he told me its over, he doesnt see it working between us. This is right after a GREAT weekend. We went to see a movie iwth his son had a good time, his son' went to his ex's house (his mom's) and we hung out at his house and he made me dinner and we messed around and it was great. My boyfriend constantly tells me that our relationship is the best sex he's ever had, that hes never been closer to another female than to me, that he's told me so much about his life that he's never shared with anyone else and that he can not imagine me not being in his life.

 

Yet when he told me it was over, he was so cold. He was just like this isnt going to work, there's no one else but I'd rather be alone then be with you. He made me sound like some horrible person that doens't love him or his son. When the opposite is true. WHy would he get all excited about me buying a house? why would he sit there and tell me over and over how much he loves me> Why would he talk about the future? Well he said its over on monday and I saw him on wednesday ( to get my stuff that he had) and he acted like nothing was wrong. He was lovey with me and asked me not to take my stuff back. I asked if he wanted to get together this weekend (last weekend) and he said yes. So we saw eachtoehr thursday (took his son to dinner) and saturday.

 

ON saturday we had sex and watched movies and he held me and was all sweet to me. Saturday night he asked me what I'd say if he gave me an engagement ring and talked about saving money for one. But then he said "you know if this doesn't work between us, I will NEVER forget you. He said he barely remembers most of his exes but would never forget me because we've fought over a lot of stuff but always end up together and that he wouldnt' forget me becuase we have had so many good times. I asked him if this was goodbye or something (cause thats what it sounded like) but was weird coming about an hour after asking me about the engagement thing. and he said no he was just saying that "if" we ended things. Also on saturday night we were talking about marriage and he said he expects his wife to do his laundry and I laughed (thougth he was joking) and said nope he would do his own laundry.

 

He kept going over that subject saying that no, he would teach me to do his laundry and i kept saying not going to happen. I thought it was a joke but even yesterday he mentioned it!! I am SO confused. Does this guy want to be with me or not? I mean one minute he is breaking up with me , the next he is talking about marriage, telling me he loves me and misses me (when we talk on the phone he'll say he misses me) adn the next he is talking about how he will always remember me fondly (after we break up) I talked to him on the phone last night and he said

"miss you" at the end but he wasn't very interested in talking to me or anything. What is going on? Am I going to get dumped? What is wrong with him!!

[SarahAnn]

I'll reply since no one else has. It sounds like you are either dating a very immature guy or he is just unsure of his feelings for you. He may have be interested in working it out with you but maybe is getting mixed signals from YOU so he's on the edge ready to leave if necessary. You should talk to him about it.