sunangel Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I broke up with my boyfriend exactly a week ago. I have not tried contacting him in anyway. He finally called this saturday night at 3:30 am and did not stop calling for an hour. What upstets me is that i'm sure he was drunk and that's what gave him the courage to call. I never picked up anyway. He called again last night like 3 times. This time he called at an appropriate time. I still did not pick up. The reason for my leaving him was that he's taking me for granted.( read my other post titled "Taken for Granted") My plans are to not pick up my phone atleast for now, and see how badly he really wants to talk to me. I'm gonna wait at least another week and see how many times he calls. I know i shouldn't play games ,but maybe he'll learn how to appreciate me if i give him a little "TOUGH LOVE" Should I listen to what he has to say or just forget about it? I would appreciate your opinions.....
resi71 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 pull back for some weeks,he problably will try everything in this period like i did.if you love him let him profe he change and wants you over everything in world
chryssy83 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 My ex broke up with me once for taking him for granted. Embarrassing but true. Anyway, we didn't talk for about 8 days. And then I went and hunted him down and told him that I really loved him and that everything would be different. And it was different from that point on. I would continue the no contact to give him time to figure this all out. If he wants it badly enough he'll make sure you talk.
Author sunangel Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 Thanks it's nice to hear it worked out for you. I'm definately gonna give it some more time before i actually pick up his calls. I want him to realize what it's like not having me around! Take care.
Lostandfound Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 At no time in your original post did you say that you want him back, we just assume, Did you tell him that it was over because he took you for granted, or not. I mean by the sound of it you do want to get back together with him and ending it was like a punishment, or is it just a way to make him change his ways. Have you considered that he may be moving on, and this could backfire. Men & Women can only take enough you know
Anastasia0309 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I really look up to you for what your doing. If I could turn back the hands of time I would have stuck to my guns when I choose to leave for the same reason but I didn't. I know it must be soo hard for you not to answer and not to call but how do you do it? What are you doing to help you get through this time? I don't think he will move on if he really loves you. I really think this is the best thing you could do. If a man loves you nothing will keep him away.... If he doesn't nothing will make him stay. I'm your age and going through my first breakup with a man I know loves me. Actually I think he's giving me some "tough love". I just know I need to stop calling him and want to stop. I think I need time to sort things out I just don't think I'm strong enough to stop. What are things you do to not call?
Author sunangel Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 I was very clear with him that the last thing i wanted was to break up, but that he was taking me for granted, so i had to go. Honestly I want him to realize what it's like to not have me around. I have been really good to him and trust me..... if he's calling is cause he messed up, not me. It's just soooo hard cause i don't know if i should give him a second chance or just let it be! And YES i do think about getting back with him. But would it be the right path?
lorr Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I was very clear with him that the last thing i wanted was to break up, but that he was taking me for granted, so i had to go. Honestly I want him to realize what it's like to not have me around. I have been really good to him and trust me..... if he's calling is cause he messed up, not me. It's just soooo hard cause i don't know if i should give him a second chance or just let it be! And YES i do think about getting back with him. But would it be the right path? Its going to take more than a week for him to "see the light", and thats if he really wants to see it.
SuziwithaQ Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I'm very interested in hearing what happens. Sometimes I think that if I do break all contact, it will really give him the chance to see what life is like without me. Good luck Sunangel.
Author sunangel Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 Dear Anastasia & SuziwithaQ , It's not that hard for you to do what i am doing. I basically just keep reminding myself that i'm too good to put up with his behavior, and i remind myself how bad he makes me feel and therefore don't pick up his calls. This guy has not been completely horrible to me. He was just taking me for granted and hanging out with his friends instead of spending it with me. So i'm showing him what it's like to not have me in his life. I'll let you know the outcome of this in the future..... Good luck to you and remember it's not about PRIDE, but about RESPECT and keeping your SELF VALUE! * THANKS to everyone who has replied*
SuziwithaQ Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I was just literally talking to myself, "Suzi, WTF, his behavior to you is horrible right now--you need to walk away". Sunangel, like you, my bf is so good to me when we are together--it's the apart time where things go haywire. I've agreed that we can see other people, but if I'm going to do that, I really need to do that. Maybe I'll meet a person who is ready to share themselves completely with me. But because this hurts so much, I may have to give the NC a try. Question though, do I need to tell him this? Or just stop taking the calls?
Author sunangel Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 I'm no expert, but in my opinion you need to be straight foward with him and in a nice way tell him you need to seperate yourself from him.... Trust me, when you show him that you are not to be taken for granted ,he will realize what your really worth. He will see that your a LADY and not a toy. This has worked for me..... My ex has been calling me all morning and it's only been a week since i split. I think it's safe to say he's getting the point Some men only learn when you show strength, i've noticed..... Let me know what happens and Good Luck!
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I know i shouldn't play games ,but maybe he'll learn how to appreciate me if i give him a little "TOUGH LOVE" Should I listen to what he has to say or just forget about it? I would appreciate your opinions..... This is not "playing games" to me. Showing tough love is having excellent boundaries. It shows him that you won't take being taken for granted lying down. Keep it up. Make him work to earn you back. Show him that you expect to be respected in a relationship and do not take being taken for granted lightly. Be the prize. The only words that can come from his mouth that matter are "I'm sorry, I screwed up, I want to make it work, tell me what I need to do." Otherwise don't listen to him or accept his calls, especially that late at night. Drunk dialing is stupid.
Author sunangel Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 Dear CaliGuy, Nice to finally see a reply from a male perspective.... I appreciate your advice and you are very right! Maybe he got the point about not calling me so late cause he called sunday at 9 pm and today at 10 am about three times. If...... i don't hear sincere apologies and a genuine gesture to change things around, than i'm not even considering ever getting back with him. I figure i'm gonna hold out a little longer and see how badly he wants to speak to me...... When i finally answer i plan on only giving him one option. If he wants to talk about things than i will only meet him in a public place and see what he's gonna bring to the table. I won't agree to talk in an intimate setting cause i still don't know what he wants to say..... So i will "Play it safe" and not show too much interest and just meet him somewhere other than my house or his house etc.... Show him that i'm cool and make it very casual
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