Confused at 28 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 So here is the situation... I met a girl in a bar (that was giving ME the eye) - this is the first time i've met a girl like this - we got on straight away, as it happens I can not see her very often right now... but I got in touch with her a week later, and we decided to go for a meal together - we got on really well, she seemed very keen, we couldn't stop chatting all night, and before we knew it we had been told off by the waiter 2 times for taking too long to order / leave(i know snotty waitor!!!) - we went onto a club, and left around 2am....I had already told her I am not into one night stands, and so she knew i was not expecting anything...so this led to just a kiss on the first night -perfect just what i am looking for in a girl. We said we would see each other again before i had to go away (3 days later) but the next day she said she had too much work - she is on a demanding degree.. but she said next time i'm back we would spend the day together - which we did, as it happens she met my parents (unheard of before on a second date for me) - she had no probs with this, and it was just as if we met friends - she loved them too. So again we didnt stop chatting all night and ended up kissing 2 times ( not that it was the most important thing )-for once instead of thinking more about sex it was the "buzz" just being with her, and she made me feel she felt the same-the way she looked at me when i was talking! she went away for new year, and I suggested we went to the cinema/ restaurant when she returned, but I was not going to wait for her to choose a day - so she replied with - the night she returned from her 4 day trip we will go on the 3rd date.... she then texted me the morning of the 3rd date - said her flight was delayed/she will miss her train home, and basically couldnt make it - she was sorry..and again to tell me when i'm next around. I can not work this out - she seems so keen when we are together, kisses me with passion, is enthrauled with our conversation, seems to be the perfect match....but then when i'm not with her - she never calls me, if she texts me it has to begin with a reply to a text i've sent her (even if there was no question), and a 50% hit ratio on the dates makes me wonder what she is upto....is it just one of those things (2 times), is she playing hard to get -wanting me to chase her (does this come from her psycology degree??), someone said maybe she has a boyfriend she is trying to get rid of or is she just like that??? I'm 28-confident, good looking enough not to be out of my league with her,and seem to be matched on most levels. I fall in love too easily (which she knows),i don't date a lot of girls (total 6 proper relationships since 17), and generaly tend to stay with them a while. she is 23(but sems to be the same mental age as me-grown up), she has a phsycology degree, she is classy, cool-layed back, and not at all slutty, very inteligent, pretty, has real manners.....its not hard to see why i'm attrected, and why i don't want to let this one get away. Please please help me with your thoughts...Its a really hard situation - i cant stop thinking about her-we seem to connect unlike i've ever had before, and can not figure out whats going on.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I can not work this out - she seems so keen when we are together, kisses me with passion, is enthrauled with our conversation, seems to be the perfect match....but then when i'm not with her - she never calls me, if she texts me it has to begin with a reply to a text i've sent her (even if there was no question), and a 50% hit ratio on the dates makes me wonder what she is upto....is it just one of those things (2 times), is she playing hard to get -wanting me to chase her (does this come from her psycology degree??), someone said maybe she has a boyfriend she is trying to get rid of or is she just like that??? Maybe she is just not a phone and texting person. When you are not with her do you communicate any other way? Such as a instant messenger or email? She may not know when the right time to phone you would be incase you are busy. Maybe a past relationship put her off phoning/texting. You have only been on a few dates, your both new at it. She may not want to come off as needy by texting and phoning you a lot.
Mezzi Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 I dont think she is sending mixed signals maybe she is just playing safe and not texting you frequently until she is sure this is something she wants and maybe she wants you to do most of the pursuing at this point. I am like that and dont want to seem too eager when I meet someone. Maybe she does have a boyfriend she wants to get rid of but I doubt it. I think you could ask her "Why is it that you dont call me very often" and see what she says Good luck to you.
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