Guest Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Without going into detail I'll just say I have a lot of things going against me in the dating game.. my age, height, nationality, receding hairline, personality, and lack of social life..to name a few. The things I do have is a good job, $$$, not a boring personality, an okay face (I think). I am puttin on some aging tho which totally sucks. I'll try not making this a whiny post because believe me I've heard it a million times myself too. I guess I want to actually get something out of this, but I don't know the right question to ask. I guess that's the question, is--for the sake of argument--let's just say I DO have a valid argument here.. that I been shorthanded, delt a bad hand, etc etc. Let's also say I've done a heck of a lot to try to overrule this my entire life.. being social and confident and persistant and .. well everything and still get no results. Should I just KILL MYSELF? I mean is that the only answer?? Because this is just totally ridiculous, it's the most helpless feeling in the world when you know your personality is like everybody else's but your outer appearance isn't. Yes, it does feel unfair and makes you wanna nuke the planet, but I realize it ain't the worlds fault. It ain't my fault either.. it's nobody's fault. But it gives me hatred and I don't know where to direct it. I usually direct it at my door or whatever object is laying around, but seriously, I don't know how to vent this because it is nobody's fault. I think this is the question I'm really asking, is where do I let all the hatred and anger out?? How do I release it so I can start from square one and go another round??
Blah blah Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Without going into detail I'll just say I have a lot of things going against me in the dating game.. my age, height, nationality, receding hairline, personality, and lack of social life..to name a few. The things I do have is a good job, $$$, not a boring personality, an okay face (I think). I am puttin on some aging tho which totally sucks. I'll try not making this a whiny post because believe me I've heard it a million times myself too. I guess I want to actually get something out of this, but I don't know the right question to ask. I guess that's the question, is--for the sake of argument--let's just say I DO have a valid argument here.. that I been shorthanded, delt a bad hand, etc etc. Let's also say I've done a heck of a lot to try to overrule this my entire life.. being social and confident and persistant and .. well everything and still get no results. Should I just KILL MYSELF? I mean is that the only answer?? Because this is just totally ridiculous, it's the most helpless feeling in the world when you know your personality is like everybody else's but your outer appearance isn't. Yes, it does feel unfair and makes you wanna nuke the planet, but I realize it ain't the worlds fault. It ain't my fault either.. it's nobody's fault. But it gives me hatred and I don't know where to direct it. I usually direct it at my door or whatever object is laying around, but seriously, I don't know how to vent this because it is nobody's fault. I think this is the question I'm really asking, is where do I let all the hatred and anger out?? How do I release it so I can start from square one and go another round?? I'm sorry you feel so angry. I can't help you with releasing that anger. But I do want to tell you about my relationship, and hopefully there's something in there for you. I've been dating a man for about a year. To me, he's the most wonderful man in the world. He has a lot of emotional issues, but I am learning to deal with those, and am trying to learn how to accept him for who he is, no matter what. I am always telling him I love him, that he is beautiful to me, that he is the most amazing man in the world, the best lover, etc etc. And he doesn't believe a word of it. He just can't accept it. His self esteem is so low that, no matter how often I tell him, no matter what I say, he either makes a joke or denies it. If he were to write a post about himself, he would sound just like you. This makes me cry with frustration. I want him to see what a beautiful person he is. But he can't. Thing is, most people would say that I'm much better looking than he is. But he's got me, and I'm loyal to him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I guess I'm writing this to say to you that NONE of the things you've listed necessarily go against you in the dating game. But your confidence and self esteem have taken a battering, and these are the things to work on that will be most beneficial to you. Good luck.
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