Guest Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Hello everyone. Thank you in advance for your responses. I am in some serious need of insight on my LDR. I cant sleep over the things I am going thru because it is just stressing me out. I have been with my guy for a little over two years. It has been an off and on relationship but recently it has been getting stronger. He lives in Arkansas and I live in California. We met online and maintain our relationship through the phone. About this time last year I was recovering from one major surgery, about to go through with another one in a couple of weeks, for cancer. He couldn’t be there for me and didn’t call me to even check up on me. That was a hard time for me. I found out later he was in jail. Just recently things to me have been getting a little stressful for me to handle. He has started asking me for money. The first time he asked me was to keep him from going to jail. I told him that I didn’t have any money in the bank but he promised that he would pay me back when he got the money. He kept asking me and every time him no but after a while I gave in. then after that he was asking me for money so that he can get food. I quit my job so that I can focus more on my education. My income is through grants and scholarships. Everything has been fine until the last month or so. He keeps bringing up getting married and all that does is just make me more confused. He doesn’t have a job but was just offered one and doesn’t start until Monday. But what he told me last night has got me really thinking if I want to stay in this relationship or not. he called and told me he had something important to talk about. He told me he was tired of living his life the way he was and he wanted to end his life. He said that he has grown up to learn not to trust anyone. But he said he could with me and he cannot explain how he deeply his love for me has grown. He also said that he had to tell me a couple of things he has been holding back from me. He lied about him playing football for the college he went to. He never played, never even went to college or graduated from high school. He even lied about his age. When I met him I was 19 he was 18. But he just told me last night his nineteenth birthday just passed in October. He told me he has gone to jail for murder charges when before it has only been for fighting or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My concern is he just trying a long winded way of getting money from me or should I just change my number and disappear off the face of the earth? I love him, or so I think I do. I want to be with him but now I am reconsidering. I get so sick sometimes just thinking about what to do. I don’t want to hurt him because I don’t want to be a heartbreaker. At the same time I cannot imagine a life without him. Im so confused I don’t know what to do…
HazeyCat Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 This is another confirmation for me as to the compleate lack of decent relashionships that come out of people meeting eachother on line now with that said. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMEN RUNNNN AWAY NOW!!!!!!!!! Run away from this toxic lieing excuse for a man!! You sound young belive me there will be others in your future. And do your self a fav dont go looking for mr right on the internet espicaly in chat! All you will find is mr very very wrong belive me ive tryed for years. And found nothing but a pile of needey money grubbing majorly mentily disfunctional men!! OMG hes trouble RUN PLEASE RUN.Change your number move change your name if you have to. But just GET AWAY from him!! He lied about everthing for all you could know he could be behind bars talking to you wateing to get out!!! He already told you hes on MURDER CHARGES!!! What else do you need to hear!! Please for your own safty please drop him fast. 1st golden rule of on line dateing and you will hear this from any one who has had any experance trying it. SOON AS THEY ASK FOR MONEY CUT CONTACT RIGHT THEN!!! Its a MAJOR RED FLAG!! Ok sorry about all the bolds here people.But I just felt the need to realy try to get it across to her. For her own safty my god I hope she listens.
Fly My Pretties Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Read back over what you just wrote OP, and imagine it is your best friend telling you this about her man. Now do what you would advise her to do....
bbelmont83 Posted January 12, 2007 Posted January 12, 2007 Get out now!.....Hes been toying with you this whole time and now he has told you the truth probably because he feels bad.
HazeyCat Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Fly My Pritties.. if you were tralking to me here I could read over it again and again and imagen myself to be any one. But I would still say the same thing over and over. I would tell her to RUN AWAY as fast as she could. This mans bad news with a capitol B.. When will people learn to take the warning sighns they get from other people on line seriously when? Before or after they get raped robed or end up in a bad abusive relashionship!! Or even worse on the 11 oclock news maybe?? why is every one so nieve it CAN happen to you..Just because some wonder guy on the other end of a keybord says hes mr prince charming.DONT BELIVE IT untill you actualy see it!! So no I def wouldent change a thing I wrote here!!
Guest Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 oh wow i was beginning to think no one would answer.... i am young but not that young. i just dont have too much experience with "the male species".... i did think deeply and i just got tired of it all. so i changed my number. every time my phone rang i would get so nauseated. i mean its not like he can find my name in the phone book. after all this time i still think he doesnt remember my last name..... i have been wanting to call to apologize (of course blocking my number) because i have been with him for so long and i thought i loved him. it still hurts that i dont talk to him. but maybe it's for the best....
Blue Phoenix Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 --i have been wanting to call to apologize (of course blocking my number) because i have been with him for so long and i thought i loved him. it still hurts that i dont talk to him. but maybe it's for the best.-- Dont feel sorry thats prob what hes bettting on. You did nothing wrong to this man to need to call him back to apologize. You did the right thing even tho it may not feel great at the moment. He sounds like a manipulative leach who was doing nothing but stressing and useing you. Its never a good sighn when people you meet on line start demanding money from you. Who knowes he may have been a druggie for all you know and wanted the money for his next fix. You got realy luckey and dodged a bullet ive herd some real horror stories about on line losers. I wouldent call him ide let it go for good. You cant say call him and block your number beacuse he sounds like a con artest to me. And im sure he would just pry his way back into your life..Good for you glad to see some one who dident fall for one of these parasites..
Guest Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 i realize now that what he was trying to do...giving me an ultimatum. psycho bastard.... its guys like that who make it hard for the good ones that do come along. now i really dont trust any guy, regardless whether i met him online or not. i also realize that love has nothing to do with money. he would say "if you love me you would do this for me". that was why i used to question if i really loved him or not. i didnt want us to be over. but i guess it had to... everyday gets better tho. at first i thought i couldnt handle it but things are getting better
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