Guest Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Hey everyone, Well I used to be pretty socially active and although I wasn't the best looking guy, I could find my little niche in life where I'd fairly constantly meet attractive girls who were also attracted to me. But things have changed so much. I went through a bad episode of depression and now I'm a total loner. I don't have that social life and yes, I'm working on it, but I'm finding it hard to get started because I feel like I'm trying to show the confidence but without the social life. In other words I'm faking the outer confidence to try to get the social life that will give me the real confidence. Sometimes I think it's better to not fake it and just show that you're not that confident, at least that way the people you meet will know what to expect from you. So what do you think?
JCD Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Socialize when you really feel like you want to. Otherwise it feels awkward and forced and you'll be thinking that something is wrong with you. There are days I don't talk because I'm tired or have nothing to say. Then some days I talk my head off because I feel happy. Maybe you feel sad and if so you need to let it pass.
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Hey everyone, Well I used to be pretty socially active and although I wasn't the best looking guy, I could find my little niche in life where I'd fairly constantly meet attractive girls who were also attracted to me. But things have changed so much. I went through a bad episode of depression and now I'm a total loner. I don't have that social life and yes, I'm working on it, but I'm finding it hard to get started because I feel like I'm trying to show the confidence but without the social life. In other words I'm faking the outer confidence to try to get the social life that will give me the real confidence. Sometimes I think it's better to not fake it and just show that you're not that confident, at least that way the people you meet will know what to expect from you. So what do you think? At some point you're just going to have to get out there and start talking to people. Go to some kind of social function, call old friends, go to the gym, find some hobbies that you can share with others. People need people. It's what helps us stave off depression (along with excerise).
norajane Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Basing your confidence on whether you have a social life to give you confidence sounds f*cked up, IMO. Sorry, but true confidence comes from within. Isn't there anything about yourself that you are confident about? Your education, your job, your way with dogs, how far you can hit a softball, your kindness, your sense of humor, whatever? That's where confidence comes from - your abilities and genuine belief that you've got what it takes.
Porn_Guy Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 In other words I'm faking the outer confidence to try to get the social life that will give me the real confidence. many people do that
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