Tormented Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 A poster here had sent me this through email a month or so ago when I was having a difficult time letting go of the anger and pain of my breakup. I had a rough night last night and watched this video again. It helped me through the pain as it has several times before. I decided to post it here with the hope it helps others as it has me. There's a lot of truth to it! This was taken from a show in which Madea is giving her heartbroken son advice after his recent breakup... Son: "What am I going to do now?" Madea: "You've got to get up and go on with your life." "It's alright, sit around and be depressed about it for a moment, cry about it, do whatever you have to do but don't stay there long. GET UP AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE." "This is what I have learned in all these years on this earth. If somebody wants to walk out of your life - LET THEM GO. Especially if you know you've done everything you can to be the best man or woman and they still want to go - LET THEM GO. Whatever they're running after, they'll see what they had but by then it will be too late." "Some people come into your life for a lifetime. Some people come for a season. You've got to know which is which. You'll always mess up when you mix these seasonal people up with lifetime expectations. There are people who get married to those who were only suppose to be there for a season and then wonder why they've got so much hell in their life. That person was suppose to come into your life just to teach you ONE thing, but you just had to fall in love and now you wonder why you have no peace." "Listen, I put everybody that enters my life into the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on the tree. The wind blows this way and they're over here. The wind blows the opposite direction and they're now over there. And when the season changes, they wither and die. And then they're gone." "But that's alright. Most people in the world are like that. They take from the tree and offer a little shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at people like that. That's who they are and they're never going to change. They were put on this earth to be what they are - a leaf." "Now some people are like the branch on a tree. Be careful of these branches because they'll fool you. They will get you to believe they're a good friend and real strong...but the minute you step out on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry." "But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that are like the roots at the bottom of the tree, YOU ARE BLESSED because those are the type of people that are going NO WHERE. If it weren't for those roots, the tree couldn't live. A tree can have a hundred-million branches but only a few toots at the bottom to make sure it gets what it needs. I'm telling you, when you get some roots you'd better hold on to them. And all the rest - let them go!" Nobody said letting go will be easy, but it gets easier when you learn to love yourself. When you get to a point where you can look at people and say, "Okay, it's either you or me," you WILL make a decision. When you tell somebody they're doing something that hurts you and they care enough to fix it, or at least try to fix it, then keep these people around. That's a leaf trying to grow up to be something else. But if you tell somebody that they're hurting you and they keep doing it...they don't care - MOVE ON, LET THEM GO. No matter how much it hurts, let them go!" "And it will get easier, I promise you. Every day it will get easier and easier. You just have to make it through." "You have to learn how to be by yourself. People have to learn how to be alone. If you don't learn how to be by yourself, what are you going to do with somebody else? And stop praying about it! SHUT-UP AND WAIT! Go work on yourself. Spend this time getting yourself together." "I'd rather be by myself in a corner with a puppet and goldfish and be happy, than to be sitting around with somebody in my house and wonder why the hell they're there for. You'd be surprised at what people will put up with just to have somebody to say they love them. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand that. I can't live with that kind of dysfunction. I've come through too much hell and high water to allow somebody to come into my adult life where I'm suppose to be at peace and give me all kinds of hell." "There are only 2 places on this earth you're going to have peace. One is your grave and the other is your home. Now, if you can't walk into your house and have some peace, there's something wrong." Amen to THAT, Madea! ~T~
perspektiv Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Thats so true. Love the metaphor. Probably one of the best I've heard. Thanks for sharing. It helps to think of my situation in line with what she said...
Rooster_DAR Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Very good! I really think the important piece of this is the ability to be alone and at peace with who you are. That's where I am now, and I'm really starting to like who I am and where I'm going. It's amazing when you get to know yourself, it's a feeling of self individualism, power over your own destiny, and the ebracing the person you truly are. Life is great!
jusified Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 That is very nice. Really appreciate it T for putting it up.
Toaster Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Very good post. It really hits home. It may be extremely painful, but the only things you can do if you love someone is let them go if that is their choice.
marlena Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Being Greek, I was especially proud of this post.. Tormented, I have spent hours and hours reading about your predicament and my heart really goes out to you...as it does to all the tormented people on this forum.. but I know we will I get through it..somehow ..someday...
Double D Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Like the others thanks Tormented for posting this, it helps loads. My favourite saying is 'Know thyself' this is oh so important. Thanks again!
daphne Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 This is good timing. Just when I'm having nightmares of the ex because I suspect a mutual friend has contact with him. thank you
Author Tormented Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 I'm glad you guys liked this...I know it helped me a great deal. I particularly like the "tree" analogy. I think it reflects a lot of truth to the type of people that come into our life. In retrospect, I compare my ex to the "branch." He came into my life, appeared to be SO genuine, SO strong in his feelings and intentions that I came to trust him enough to "take that step out." And, as she said, he broke from under me and I took a long and painful fall. Had he been a "leaf," it would have been much easier because I wouldn't have trusted him as I did. I would have seen through him, what he truly is. Yep...watch out for those branches!! ~T~
Lovestoomuch Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Tormented, what a wonderful post. My ex was my "branch" and boy does it hurt. Your post makes so much sense to me, as I'm looking at having to let go. Thank you.
ae4e Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Wonderful post, very intricate detail, loved that analogy. My ex g/f was that branch, and her leaves changed.....too much, and she about killed me as the tree...love is painful, but your leaves and branches will flourish again. Mine are still coming back, more slower than I would like, but development is coming along nicely! Hang in there everyone!
Silentflix Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Those Madea movies are the best. Thank you for posting this Tormented!
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