mac007 Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 (this is a long story shor.) I had a summer fling with my co-worker. We were talking on and off lately. It seemed like I was the one initiating the conversation. so, I just stopped talking with her for about a week. Well, on friday, i asked if i can call her sunday night. she said yes with control excitement. In september, when we broke up all together, she said that she doesn't even want to be my friend. We are only co workers that have to work together. The things is she has a strong defense up and a soft spot. We can go on ignoring each other but that is emotionally draining on me. i have tried to get closure on her many times, but each time she just keeps initating the "work" converstaion with me. i am 12 years younger. she has 3 kids. i will call her but i really don't know what to say. She likes traditional men, leadership type men, and at the same time i am tired of this one sided relationship, where i do all the initiating. any thoughts, thanks for reading.
johan Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I understand you have feelings for her. I think you need to let her go and forget the idea of having a relationship with her. I'm sure you've shown her all you have to offer, and it's not bringing out the spark you need. It would work better on some other girl. It's a drag when something like this happens with a co-worker.
JCD Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 From my experience, if you don't want her or she doesn't want you then the best thing is to ignore her, not hate her, and slowly forget about her. Don't stare at her nor talk to her. If she says hi, say hi back but with a neutral tone. It's amazing because after while of doing this your feelings will slowly vanish and then you'll see what you got yourself into and be glad you quit her. If she digs you then talk to her about anything. However I say find someone your own age and one that doesn't have kids. I respect myself and I want to start from scratch and not take over someone else's kids, but that's just me.
Island Girl Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Sorry. There is not going to be 'closure'. Not the way you seem to want it anyway. Listen to what she has told you. She told you when you broke up that she was done and she does not want to be friends. You are not getting anywhere by still initiating contact. You are chasing a dream not reality. Reality is she doesn't want you. As much as you bend over backwards she doesn't see you in her future. I am sorry because it sucks when you want someone and they don't want you but that is the way it is. Do not waste your time calling her on Sunday. Don't try to talk to her anymore. Spend all of that energy doing something else and getting over her. She surely is over you and has told you that. A traditional man - a leader - doesn't behave the way you are behaving. You are being a door mat and letting her know that you are stuck like super glue no matter what she says or how she treats you. That isn't an Alpha but completely the opposite. Do a 360 and find someone else. ------ AND DON'T CALL HER. There is someone out there who will appreciate you. Find her. Then you will know happiness.
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