Touche Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 No it doesn't so you have a baby side too or a really bad side.... and with that said I am done replying to your ummm advice on this subject That was funny! Ok, but I was giving my legitimate take on this. I didn't let the other thread spill into this one. You can put me on ignore if you wish. It's ok with me. It's interesting that you had no problem with Art when he said he agreed with me. He even went on to say that Scott Petersen had a good side too...that was a REAL dig at your guy. Yet, you laughed that off. Interesting.
Author pricillia Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 That was funny! Ok, but I was giving my legitimate take on this. I didn't let the other thread spill into this one. You can put me on ignore if you wish. It's ok with me. It's interesting that you had no problem with Art when he said he agreed with me. He even went on to say that Scott Petersen had a good side too...that was a REAL dig at your guy. Yet, you laughed that off. Interesting. Not sure why I did that but you called me out on it... Yes it was funny, I guess no matter what the situation is you have to find humor in it or you will go crazy. He did make a dig at my guy, and it did not bother me, I guess when another woman goes against another woman it hurts more than a guy... Now I see your side of it... when a woman goes against the unspoken woman code it hurts!!!
Art_Critic Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 He did make a dig at my guy, Pricillia.. I didn't mean at as a dig of your guy.. Sorry.. I was trying to get you to see that everyone has a good side no matter who they are and someone shouldn't (or you shouldn't) let that be the guiding light to stay with someone or to stop you from making a choice in your life for the good..
Author pricillia Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 Pricillia.. I didn't mean at as a dig of your guy.. Sorry.. I was trying to get you to see that everyone has a good side no matter who they are and someone shouldn't (or you shouldn't) let that be the guiding light to stay with someone or to stop you from making a choice in your life for the good.. oh ok then, I know that your advice comes from a good place sorry I thought othewise...
Touche Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Not sure why I did that but you called me out on it... Yes it was funny, I guess no matter what the situation is you have to find humor in it or you will go crazy. He did make a dig at my guy, and it did not bother me, I guess when another woman goes against another woman it hurts more than a guy... Now I see your side of it... when a woman goes against the unspoken woman code it hurts!!! Yes, that's exactly what I thought too. I'm glad you understand. And yeah, I didn't mean to say that Art was taking a jab at your guy just to take a jab. I thought he had a good point.
Author pricillia Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 Yes, that's exactly what I thought too. I'm glad you understand. And yeah, I didn't mean to say that Art was taking a jab at your guy just to take a jab. I thought he had a good point. Thanks Touche!!! I wish I could stick around more tonight, but my work evening is over and I do not have a computer at home... Thanks for your input!
Touche Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Thanks Touche!!! I wish I could stick around more tonight, but my work evening is over and I do not have a computer at home... Thanks for your input! You're welcome. And I'm so glad we could come to an understanding. Catch you next time!
pureinheart Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 What does it mean when you bring up the MM's Marriage, he cries? streaming down the cheeks tears.... hey Pricillia....Ex-MM used to cry around me a lot, about a lot of different things, it was mainly about me....I didn't understand it.....
frannie Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Just wanted to say hello, pricillia... hope things aren't getting to you too much. Keep thinking and working on the situation til you get some clarity. All the best.
Author pricillia Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 Just wanted to say hello, pricillia... hope things aren't getting to you too much. Keep thinking and working on the situation til you get some clarity. All the best. Thanks Frannie! Yes clarity that is what is needed and I really am trying to work hard on this! I read your posts on the other thread and I think that you have so many good things to say about your experience with your situation.
pureinheart Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 He has though on a few occasions said that I should be faithfull... I know the irony, so lets not get into that, just trying to figure out why the whole tears thing. He said that how could someone he cares about so much ( me ) be thinking and wonderng what is going on with other people that it freaked him out thinking that I have a crush on someone else... I think that I have brought it up one other time I told him that this whole thing is hard for me that he goes home to another every night. He then proceded to cry, he lost it! I told him that he should stop accusing and trust because one day a person could be there and the next they could be gone. He lost it even further and said good I hope that I die ( meaning himself) he said that it would be easier then everything would be easier, and everything would be done. Hey Pricillia....((((hugs)))))))) ...Ex-MM used to want to die also, and I mean he was serious, he would not take his own life, but if death came, it would be a good thing. Ex-MM was divided all of the time, he was living a double life....Pricillia, I am angry a lot in this forum concerning ex-MM....but I have to tell you, if he was capable of any love at all, I know that he did love me and always will. He just cannot separate himself from "crazy"....I was the first sane person he had ever had that close to him....I showed him a different way to act and do business. They are tormented constantly, and that is why he is reacting....he sounds like he is ready to break....
Author pricillia Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 Hey Pricillia....((((hugs)))))))) ...Ex-MM used to want to die also, and I mean he was serious, he would not take his own life, but if death came, it would be a good thing. Ex-MM was divided all of the time, he was living a double life....Pricillia, I am angry a lot in this forum concerning ex-MM....but I have to tell you, if he was capable of any love at all, I know that he did love me and always will. He just cannot separate himself from "crazy"....I was the first sane person he had ever had that close to him....I showed him a different way to act and do business. They are tormented constantly, and that is why he is reacting....he sounds like he is ready to break.... Yes I think that he is ready to break.... it concerns me it does, I do not want that to happen. I know he may be in alot of pain.
pureinheart Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Yes I think that he is ready to break.... it concerns me it does, I do not want that to happen. I know he may be in alot of pain. Just keep an eye on him, and pay attention to every single detail spoken and unspoken....ex-MM got that way a few times and each time I waited for the sh*t to hit the fan, also expected him to end up on my doorstep.
frannie Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Yes I think that he is ready to break.... it concerns me it does, I do not want that to happen. I know he may be in alot of pain. Pricillia, I know he may be in a lot of pain, but this crying has taken away from the problems that YOU are having in this. What about how difficult it all is for YOU? Don't go all soppy and start worrying about his feelings and start walking on eggshells (not mentioning parties and single guys) so that he doesn't feel bad about a situation he could change if he wanted to.
Touche Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I agree with Frannie, P. I think it's a form of manipulation on his part...kind of a diversionary tactic.
Seen_It_All Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Just curious...isn't this the same guy that LIED to you about being available when you first started seeing him? But you said you were 'too in love' to tell him to f*ck off and die when you found out the TRUTH? Well, if he can sink that low, then I'm sure he can dredge up a few crocodile tears when he's not getting his way. My heart bleeds for him - not. Call me 'crude' because I'm a woman and not sugar-coating this pathetic loser's behavior, if you wish. But it doesn't take away from the TRUTH, does it?
Author pricillia Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 Just curious...isn't this the same guy that LIED to you about being available when you first started seeing him? But you said you were 'too in love' to tell him to f*ck off and die when you found out the TRUTH? Well, if he can sink that low, then I'm sure he can dredge up a few crocodile tears when he's not getting his way. My heart bleeds for him - not. Call me 'crude' because I'm a woman and not sugar-coating this pathetic loser's behavior, if you wish. But it doesn't take away from the TRUTH, does it? Guess not SIA, that is a possibility, I will also say he is not a pathetic looser although he has yes behaved badly... I am not going to get into it with you that you look at things only one way. I agree that he could have been manipulating the situation, but I believe that his tears and his torment are real. I do not baby him, I do not play into it...I really don't care if your heart bleeds for him or not. Funny most people do not know that another is having an affair, it could be your neighbor your co-worker your sister your brother, but none the less these people have emotion and emotional needs... so I am not going to stand for you calling him a loser or anything else for that matter. If you have advice to give leave the name calling out of it, I will listen to your advice with an open mind... Got it! Moving on...
NoIDidn't Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 Pricilia I am sorry but I have to agree with SIA and Touche. I hope you don't take this personally but your guy does indeed sound like a pathetic, manipulative loser. If he was that much of a stand up guy with such a wonderful good side, you wouldn't be here posting all of these questions about his behavior as he would be an easier read. Manipulators are losers. No reason to sugarcoat it. He has done and said cruel things to you in the past, yet you defend him. Why? Love? Not a good enough reason. While you are busy worrying about "what it means", you are losing yourself. While you are obsessing over the latest incident with him, you are being sucked in further and further until it gets nearly impossible to break away. You deserve better than this guy, married or not, and I hope you get it one day. This guy is a lying, manipulative, cheating loser. Sorry.
NightStarr8 Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 I think that I have brought it up one other time I told him that this whole thing is hard for me that he goes home to another every night. He then proceded to cry, he lost it! I told him that he should stop accusing and trust because one day a person could be there and the next they could be gone. He lost it even further and said good I hope that I die ( meaning himself) he said that it would be easier then everything would be easier, and everything would be done. He had an emotional breakdown, the breakdowns start happening when they begin to realize they can't go on with the situation as it is, two women, two separate relationships. They try very hard to compartmentalize their emotions, which means keeping both lives separate. The breakdowns are actually a breakthrough, it means they can't compartmentalize their lives anymore. When the compartments start to breakdown, their emotions overwhelm them and they have an emotional breakdown. It's not manipulation. He's just someone doing his best to deal with all the conflicting emotions and thoughts inside. He let it all out and shared it with you. There's no reason to baby him and tell him everything will be all right, but if he has more breakdowns - listen, don't try to stop him and if you have any compassion, you'll hand him Kleenex. At some point, letting all the emotions out will enable him to start putting his life in order and ending one or both of the relationships.
Author pricillia Posted January 9, 2007 Author Posted January 9, 2007 He had an emotional breakdown, the breakdowns start happening when they begin to realize they can't go on with the situation as it is, two women, two separate relationships. They try very hard to compartmentalize their emotions, which means keeping both lives separate. The breakdowns are actually a breakthrough, it means they can't compartmentalize their lives anymore. When the compartments start to breakdown, their emotions overwhelm them and they have an emotional breakdown. It's not manipulation. He's just someone doing his best to deal with all the conflicting emotions and thoughts inside. He let it all out and shared it with you. There's no reason to baby him and tell him everything will be all right, but if he has more breakdowns - listen, don't try to stop him and if you have any compassion, you'll hand him Kleenex. At some point, letting all the emotions out will enable him to start putting his life in order and ending one or both of the relationships. Night Star... Thanks for adding another perspective on this, yes it was like a storm and I did not take cover, I was right in the middle of it. Funny you mentioned the kleenex because just before I saw him I had kleenex in my hand from CVS just in case and I put it back... should have gone with my intuition. To everyone I am not obsessing about this just wanted opinions. Regardless of the status that he is in I still care... not sure what stage of the relationship I am in right now, but I am trying to do the best thing and I think that night star opened my eyes here, as well as the rest of you... name calling not welcome though because that solves no problems. Thanks again everyone and Nightstar, you made a difference.
NightStarr8 Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Night Star... Thanks for adding another perspective on this, yes it was like a storm and I did not take cover, I was right in the middle of it. Funny you mentioned the kleenex because just before I saw him I had kleenex in my hand from CVS just in case and I put it back... should have gone with my intuition. Just like Scarlet, you never have a hankie when it's needed? :-) The emotional outbursts are very much like storm. They come on suddenly, the emotions pour out of them in a frenzy. It's very difficult to see someone breakdown that way, there's no way to comfort them. When someone lives for months, even years, stuffing those conflicting emotions down, refusing to feel them - it is quite a storm when they start to let them out. I've heard it's a step in resolving the issues in their lives.
Author pricillia Posted January 11, 2007 Author Posted January 11, 2007 Just like Scarlet, you never have a hankie when it's needed? :-) The emotional outbursts are very much like storm. They come on suddenly, the emotions pour out of them in a frenzy. It's very difficult to see someone breakdown that way, there's no way to comfort them. When someone lives for months, even years, stuffing those conflicting emotions down, refusing to feel them - it is quite a storm when they start to let them out. I've heard it's a step in resolving the issues in their lives. So do you think that I came into his life for a reason?
Touche Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 So do you think that I came into his life for a reason? I know you weren't asking me but I absolutely believe that. Only I believe you came into his life more for the lessons that you will learn...for the good that will come out of this for YOU..not for him.
Author pricillia Posted January 11, 2007 Author Posted January 11, 2007 I know you weren't asking me but I absolutely believe that. Only I believe you came into his life more for the lessons that you will learn...for the good that will come out of this for YOU..not for him. Yes I think that it may go both ways here.
Touche Posted January 11, 2007 Posted January 11, 2007 Yes I think that it may go both ways here. Yes, I'm sure that's true.
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