nc for 8 days

[linz28]

So here goes...I'm new here and would love to hear everyones opinions on this. I am 24 yrs old been in 3 relationships the first one was very unhealthy physical and verbal abuse on both are parts. The second relationship was pretty much on and off for 3 yrs i would always leave him and come back but that was pretty much verbal abuse on my part towards him also. Finally that relationship ended last January and I pretty much started a relationship with this new guy who is 33 right away after my last relationship. I have always been a strong minded girl when it came to my relationships, meaning I didn't put up with any crap. It was mostly all games though in the past. I never opened up...for example for me to say i miss someone to them directly would of been something you would of never heard come out of my mouth. I was always very stand offish. Then I met this guy who is 33 and things were so different with him, I actually felt like he was the one. Of course with my lack of trust for god knows what reason because he is the type that a little "white lie" is a lie in his book, which i found out the hard way. He is the strong minded, stable guy who wants a good life and to settle in a healthy relationship, and of course i had to go ruin it. I felt like i wasn't getting the attention i needed so i would lie to make him jealous which he always caught me in, then when that didn't work I would break up with him for days at a time with NC....that was pretty much to see if he would try and get me back....which he always would! send me those I miss you messages then it got to a point to where I was so angry at him on the inside that i was just very agressive physically and verbally towards him.....This is a guy that if you met you would even wonder why someone like him would put up with all that crap! I did however know he loved me just always wanted him to prove it for some reason. We have an instant attraction to eachother but for some odd reason from day 1, it never seemed to work...It's like his pride and my pride both battling or something, very challenging for a girl like me. But anyways just 2 weeks ago I was so hurt by everything we have been through that i needed to get away, which scared him cuz everything i had expressed to him with my feelings saying, "i thought he was the one" yadda, yadda, yadda stuff you wouldn't of heard me say in the past put thought into his head. I didn't takl to him that weekend and got like 6 messages and 1 of them he was crying saying he missed me he missed us and he missed himself...pretty much saying i complete him....which i do believe. But my ? is Last wensday we got in another fight over not giving me what i need emotionally and didn't talk. He called me friday morning and i couldn't get over the fact that he didn't call me wensday jnight or thursday so i said i can't do it anymore, i was very so, so about new years with him. I wanted to start it with him only if we were gonna be together in a HEALTHY relationship and i didn't want to spend it with him if i thought otherwise. Well of course he wanted me to come over and talk things out with him friday night and me with my priide and uncertainty was stubborn and did not go. He left me a message saying he will be around fri and sat if i change my mind about New Years. He even texted me with the same thing.....see New Years last year he was with us and me and him had a lil crush on eachother that's the only reason he came not knowing i was bringing my bf at the time who I was not happy with. So this yr would have been a big deal considering we would have been together....anyways I call him Sunday morning the day of new years and he didn't answer. That was not like him at all...i called him 2 more times and left messages saying if this relationship is what you want then it is what i want also so call me so we can be together tonight........which is what he told me to do. Well..........he never answered or called me back! He texted me at 4 that next morning saying hope u have a happy new year....How can a guy go from fighting for something to work for so long and always being there for me when I wanted him to avoiding me like that? did he care at all? I'm so hurt and realize now after reading "How to get the Love you need" what we needed! and now I understand and know i need to work on myself, but i can't help but wonder whats going on in his mind right now...Even his friends have been out and say they have never seen him obsess over a girl like he has with me....I just don't get it at all, his non reaction? I even emailed him yesterday the first day in 8 days saying im sorry for everything i've done to hurt him in the relationship and he hasn't replied!!!!!! He thought we should do therapy and after reading the book, i soooo wish we did. I don't knw maybe im just looking to find some sense to all this.....anyone have any ideas???????? guys and girls, I'm just so confused right now

 

 

p.s For a guy that doesn't believe that buying someone something isn't a way of fixing things or he's not gonna spend an incredible amount of money on someone when it is not working out he sure went out of his way w a diamond bracelet, a diam necklace and a bunch of guess and bebe clothes for me ffor xmas.....o yea, and tht book that prob saved my future relationships.... thanks to him the one I wanted.....I just don't see why he would get me those gifts obv showing how much he did love me and then do what he did....any sugg would be appreciated.......thanks sorry had to get it all of fmy chest!!!!!!!!!