robby07 Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I used to be really shy with girls and that was my problem..now i can talk to any girl that i want to but i get emotionally attached to them almost instantly! even if things are going well i feel the need to make it more serious...and if they don't call i panic and think something is wrong.. how do i just relax and let it take it's natural course..I am a sweet guy..just wanna be in love...
thetruthhurts Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I used to be really shy with girls and that was my problem..now i can talk to any girl that i want to but i get emotionally attached to them almost instantly! even if things are going well i feel the need to make it more serious...and if they don't call i panic and think something is wrong.. how do i just relax and let it take it's natural course..I am a sweet guy..just wanna be in love... be careful and have high standards, because with an attitude like that...seems like you will fall inlove with the first person sweet caring girl that gives you attention..plus ladys dont like guys..who will go for ANYONE..she likes him to be rare and know that if she wasnt around he wouldnt go for the other girl sitting on the couch that smiled back, remeber it takes a while for people to show there real colors..and that sweet caring girl you where first attached with can turn in to the bissest physco...until you see there real colors then keep your options open DONT get attached and remeber you deserve the BEST..not the first person who gives you attention.
naiveme Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 sorry can't offer help. But I am in exactly the same position as you are and get the same thoughts.
IpAncA Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I used to be really shy with girls and that was my problem..now i can talk to any girl that i want to but i get emotionally attached to them almost instantly! even if things are going well i feel the need to make it more serious...and if they don't call i panic and think something is wrong.. how do i just relax and let it take it's natural course..I am a sweet guy..just wanna be in love... You know my brother is the same way accept he wants to marry them within the first month. He one time was engaged within 2 weeks. Yikes! I think you need to calm down and relax. They will call don't worry . Stop trying to make her the center and spread it out. Focus on other things as well so your not only focusing on her all the time. Balances things out a bit.
phyrespryte Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Yeah I have the same problem. I think it's because it's been so long since I've been in a serious relationship, so I'm always too eager. Or maybe I just have a boring life and need to work on that. All I know is that it's all about mind over heart. Your mind is a pretty awesome thing and if you can tell yourself to slow down...then you'll be able to do that. And maybe it would help if you view the whole dating thing differently. Instead of seeking out a relationship try to view it as just having a good time? Like at any minute this person could leave, so try to make the best of the time you spend with them. So when they've been around long enough...then you can worry about getting serious.
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Wow. I was gonna say that I too have the same problem and couldn't offer much help, it seems that a lot of us do! Well, for starters, you have to build up your self esteem and confidence. I know you said that your not afraid to talk to girls, but that's not quite what I mean. See, I'm the type that is in love with being in love. I'm never interested in a casual relationship, and pretty much everyone I've dated, I've become "serious" with. Sounds bad, but really it's not. The difference I think is, if I meet someone and we don't "click" I don't panic about it. Either we didn't want the same things or something was wrong with him!
ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 When I was much younger... late teens... early 20's I was like this too. I put it down to being very lonely in a harsh environment (British Army)... and posted to Gemany..(I was from Canada and home sick..etc) looking for some form of love.. and clinging to it when it would appear in the form of any kind of positive female attention.... It was also an escape from my lonliness and want for some form of normalicy in my life... thinking how my buddies back in Canada would be living... it *ucked me up good.. Wore my heart on my sleeve with the ladies.... but never stood down to another man... Messed up eh?!
whichwayisup Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 You learn from mistakes and experience. The energy you give off, the energy you take in...It has to be balanced otherwise there will be hurt feelings. In one sense it's good that you are able to open up and not be scared of feelings, but by doing that you're setting yourself up for a fall..Opening your heart too soon will result in pain. Keep things in perspective, and remember that just because you may put yourself out there emotionally, others may not and may need more time...So allow those that you're interested in some time to catch up.
ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 You learn from mistakes and experience. The energy you give off, the energy you take in...It has to be balanced otherwise there will be hurt feelings. In one sense it's good that you are able to open up and not be scared of feelings, but by doing that you're setting yourself up for a fall..Opening your heart too soon will result in pain. Keep things in perspective, and remember that just because you may put yourself out there emotionally, others may not and may need more time...So allow those that you're interested in some time to catch up. That was realy good advice...
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 That was realy good advice... IT WAS! (As usual)
accurized Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Same thing happened to me a few months ago. She wasn't where I was in the relationship and I pushed too hard and lost her. All the advise here was great. Thanks
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