It's my fault and I need some guidance with this

[kaserne]

Alright.

 

Well, I guess I'll tell you all what happened.

 

First off- I miss my ex so much, and I hate that I broke up with him. I miss him more than anything and I'd do anything to get back together with him.

 

However, he's stubborn as all hell.

 

Here's the history:

We dated for two years, and a month-ish, and I met this great guy at a party. Guy 1, [the one I broke up with that I currently miss] and I had been dating for a long time, and being impulsive I wanted to break it off. I told him that I met Guy 2 [the one from the party] and I think we should take a break.

 

Guy 1 and I spent all night crying and shiz on the phone. .. Finally Wednesday Guy 1 was all IT'S OVERRR officially.

 

Guy 2 and I end up dating.

 

A month later... I regret it SO BADLY.

 

I call up Guy 1, and I tell him all this nad he told me he thought a lot about it and that no, he doesn't want to get back together with me. he forgives me, and whatever but told me to move on.

 

I told him to at least consider it. And to look into it. He said he would, and I made him promise that. Then not even a minute later hes all "I'm not getting back together with you."

me: "But you said you'd think about it like a minute ago!"

him: "I will but I don't want to get back together with you."

 

Then he told me today that he misses me because he loves having me as a friend because he misses having my hyperactivity and craziness in his life.

 

So we talked and talked and I told him about my new years eve, and how my guy friend kissed me... cue Guy 1 getting all defensive and like "YEAH YOU'VE GOT TO BE FAITHFUL, GOD. I DON'T EVEN LIKE ---- (guy 2) BUT DON'T DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE DATING HIM AJ;AKFJ;AKLSJD" etc.

 

So then he sounded pissed for the rest of hte conversation.

 

I do'nt know sometimes the things he says almost sound like he wants to get back together with me, but when he says things like "i'm not getting back wtih you" it hurts so badly.

 

I realize my mistake, and I regret it more than anything. I never let myself regret things, ever. but this I do regret. I know we're right for one another, and I want to fix it, but he's just so stubborn! I need help, stories, ideas, something!!

 

Thank you for all who read this and submit, because I really really need help. I miss him like nothing else. [For the record, I plan on breaking if off with Guy 2. he's cool and all, but we don't have chemistry. It's more awkward than anything.]

 

The worst part was, when I was breaking up with Guy 1 I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I've got NO common sense! I just hope I can get a second chance. I'll do anything ><

[MotherGooze]

You did hurt his feelings a lot! I'd say, give him some time. So, you're still together with Guy 2? That's not very honest towards him, now is it. If you still have feelings with guy 1, then why are you together with Guy 2 in the first place. Think about that first. Think about your actions before you handle. Not only have you hurt guy 1, you are messing with guy 2's feelings.

[jusified]

You need to learn from your mistakes, take onus on your actions and face the consequence. Have you ever thought about the things you've put guy 1 through?? Have you thought about how your actions are afftect guy 2??

 

Look, alot of young girls are like you and do things like this, but it doesn't make it right when the few nice guys out there get hurt by these actions.

 

All I can say about your situaion is decide what you want, learn from mistakes and if you reall love someone you will have to do what you can to fix what you have broken. In relationships you need to be loving, caring, loyal, committed and supportive. The way you treated guy 1 didn't sound like it had any of that, therefre you also have to accept that maybe he will not get back with you because of the past.

 

Good luck

[Zaira]

You need to break it off with Guy 2 immediately. It's not fair on anyone involved in the situation.

 

You have to give Guy 1 time, and it may be true. Your separation has given him a lot of time to think, and maybe he really doesn't want to have another relationship with you. You have to be respectful of his feelings.

 

If you really think it can work and there will be no trust issues in the future, then work on it slowly. He needs to know you will be a true friend first before he'll even consider being anything else. Slow, slow, slow!

[Ukwizard]

In relationships you need to be loving, caring, loyal, committed and supportive. The way you treated guy 1 didn't sound like it had any of that,

 

I m with Jusified. You can`t just walk out of someone`s life, and then get back together.

 

At least you`ve learned something. The grass aint greener on the other side!

[kaserne]

I know I've got a few emotional issues regarding how I interpret others feelings. I have a really difficult time doing so, I know. The worst is, I never wanted to hurt guy 1's feelings.

 

First off, I am breaking up with guy 2, most likely tomorrow. He's been busy all day today and he's out with his friends so there wasn't time today. But yeah, I feel bad that I'll be hurting his feelings, since I don't want to do that, either! but I do have to do what's fair to him. And being with him right now, really isn't.

 

Justified, I understand completely where you're coming from. However, it did have those things. I'm just hard when it comes with emotions and I really didn't do the right thing. I know. I don't agree when girls do this, and trust me, for the past two months I haven't liked who I am that much for that reason.

 

I've got a lot to work on. I'm glad you all listened and responded, though. Thank you.

[VeniceQueen]

We all make mistakes but it seems like you have at least learned from yours. If it's meant to be, you guys will be together again. And you won't have to wonder if the "grass is greener on the other side" or not.

 

Put yourself in his shoes though. Being left by the one you love for someone else is one of the most heartbreaking experiences. He's going to have trust issues and have trouble letting you back in again. Give him time and some space. State your case and let him know you made a mistake and regret it. You need to tell him you want to be with him and no one else. Let him know you're ending it with Guy 2 and really do it! (You need to immediately anyway. It's not fair to anyone to keep him tagging along.) Open your heart to him. And then leave him alone for a while. Give him time to think on it.

 

If he decides to go back with you, take things really slow. Give him time to be comfortable again. Show him he can trust you.

 

 

Best of luck to you. I hope it all works out.

[GooGooDoll]

Coming from a guy that is in Guy 1's position. I've had a girl tell me how much she misses me and wants to be with me etc etc while still being with the other guy. And my only reaction is "you're still with him, so why are you telling me this?" It's not fair to the guy you're with, and it would mean very little to me. I dont want to be the one to say "its ok, you're not happy, but I'll catch you when you fall."

 

My suggestion is that you break up with Guy 2 and take some time being single and figuring out what you on your own. You need to make your decision regarding each guy independently. I know I don't want to be someones bf only because they found out "the grass isnt greener on the other side" I want them to be with me because they want me both the good and the bad, and not have to think that every time someone comes along the first thing she'll think about is "should i trade up?"

 

Theres no guarantee that even after all this you'll even have a chance. You'll have hurt two people and how is he to know it won't happen again. At the very least though if you can choose to leave guy 2 on your own without knwoing if Guy 1 will take you back, he'll know that he's not being used as a "backup" or a "free pass."

 

After that it's really his call and it'll depend on what type of person he is.