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is this wierd? boundaries around nudity and his 12 year old daughter


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Posted

Iv'e been in a relationship with a guy for a few years now and I question his boundaries around nudity and his 12 year old daughter. He tends to be a slight hippie, nudist (exhibitionist, goes to nudist sauna's, etc.) type but what makes me uncomfortable is that he is that way around his daughter. The other day I was over there when she was visiting and in the morning she went pee and came out of the bathroom where he was taking a shower. The uncomfortable thing is that his curtain is see thru and I have a feeling they do this routinely when i am not around. He has a fetish of touching me while I am on the toilet and that wierds me out because I wonder if he is thinking about his daughter. Also, he hesitated one morning as to weather or not to walk past her to the bathroom naked but I feel that he only put his robe on because I was there and he knew it bothered me. If he hadn't put his robe on she did wake up and she would have seen him. I have a feeling that they have these lax boundaries normally and it makes me uncomfortable. Is this wierd or am I just being too freaked out?

  • 1 month later...
Posted

You are being too freaked out IMO....nothing wrong with nudity, it does not equal anything sexual. I think it's healthy to have a casual nudity policy with family and friends....wish I had that when I grew up, but I'll want to if I ever have a family of my own

Posted

I can see why you would be worried, however I am more sickened by the touching you on the toilet thing... eww.

 

It's great if you like it, just not for me.

Posted

I grew up with an extremely prude father. He would get hysterical if I mistakenly opened the toilet door when he was in there and was soooo embarrassed when I once saw him naked (he turned so fast I didn't even see anything) I felt like I had done something evil. This only managed to create intimacy problems and lack of confidence in my own body later on.

 

However, I don't think the other extreme is any good either. For example, him hugging his pre-adolescent daughter when they are both naked would be cranky I think (or touching her while she's on the toilet - mind you I wouldn't like that either for the reasons stated above). I doubt going to the toilet while the other one is in the shower is off limits, but worth being cautious if her demeanour shows there could be a problem there.

Posted

Many cultures do not have reservations or taboos around nudity and it isn't necessarily a sexual thing. I agree with CardPlay, having a comfortable and casual policy regarding nudity is a postive thing.

 

Have you talked with him about it to get his views? I assume you are at least somewhat close with his daughter, if you feel this uncomfortable have you considered asking her about it, it seems she is okay with it but it is certainly something you could ask about. If she grew up in an environment where nudity was not frowned upon and she is comfortable with her fathers nudity I see no real reason why you shouldn't be.

 

As to the whole touching you on the toilet thing.. I would simply tell him you would rather he didn't do that. If he loves and respects you that should put an end to it.

 

You said you had been together for a few years you should feel comfortable talking about these things and I believe it is important you do so.

Posted

Both the touching on the toity and the nudity is disgusting.

 

IMHO.

 

***shudders****

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