sweetie8 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 here's some background info first...i have the most awesome group of friends in the world, both male and female. they make me so happy and we have the best time together- between going out on the town or just sitting around someone's apt. drinking champagne and watching sex and the city (sorry i love the show and i relate very well to Carrie ) anyway, i am getting tired of being know as "the single one" all of the time. none of my close friends are married but most of them are in relationships. they always have time for me but when i go home at night i do get lonely . honestly, it's not like i can't get a guy. i am not trying to sound conceited (really i am NOT) but i am pretty decent looking and i am a "good catch" if i do say so myself. i am 26, tall, blonde, fun, smart, independent, i have a good job, and i live on my own (in an awesome place in ny-right on the beach and close to the city). i meet guys all of the time, but not the RIGHT guys. i've been officially single for a year and i STILL compare everyone to my ex. to me, he was perfect-ok not perfect but i loved him for who he was, and he had one thing that i have not found in any other guy that i have met lately...he got me. He totally understood me, my humor, everything about me. he got along with my friends, we had the most amazing conversations and we did everything together. i know i need to stop thinking about him and just give some new guys a chance but it is really hard for me. i tend to write people off when i find one thing that bothers me. is it too much to ask to find a guy who is sweet, intelligent, and caring?? and i don't even usually go for the "hotties", i have fallen for some pretty odd looking men:laugh: . and is it too much to ask to find a guy who doesn't want to have sex with me within 24 hours of meeting me??? i really hate that. call me crazy, but to me intimacy is special and i need to get to know and trust someone before that happens. i really just want to find that someone who "gets me" again. i am not looking to get married yet, i am just looking for someone to love who loves me back. am i being too picky?!?!? i have never been one to settle...but will i be single forever if i don't?
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Move to California. I happen to know a really good catch that is looking as well
IpAncA Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I don't think your going to be single forever and I don't think your being that picky. It sounds to me like your comparing your ex to everyone that when they don't match up you don't want to date them. I've been there before so I know how hard that can be to not do that. I did that myself and I wanted someone who was just like my ex but with time I realized thats not going to happen. In time I did get over it and so will you. Have to let go. Were are you looking? Try other decent places. Join different groups, volunteer, etc...
Author sweetie8 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 thank you. you are so right. i probably am looking for guys in all the wrong places. im a little shy too and i like to be approached. but where do you find good guys?!?!?!?
Author sweetie8 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 you are sweet caliguy...but i love ny
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 you are sweet caliguy...but i love ny Heh, well you asked where the good guys are. They are all over, you just have to stop looking for them. As someone told me "When you stop looking that is when they will find you." I really believe that so I'm really just going to concentrate on my upcoming career change (and possible move to SD), my hobbies and continue to work on my self-improvement goals. Life really is being good to me, it's just sometimes I forget to stop and smell the roses.
blind_otter Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 you are sweet caliguy...but i love ny Where have I heard that it's insanely difficult to meet someone in NY...maybe on another thread on here. My mind is going, so I don't remember.
IWalkAlone Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Heh, well you asked where the good guys are. They are all over, you just have to stop looking for them. As someone told me "When you stop looking that is when they will find you." I really believe that so I'm really just going to concentrate on my upcoming career change (and possible move to SD), my hobbies and continue to work on my self-improvement goals. You're moving from Orange County, CA to South Dakota?? Better get married first and bring your wife with you. Small cities and rural areas are terrible for dating. edit: Opps! You probably meant San Diego. But still, I've read that San Diego has an unfavorable ratio of single men over single women (unfavorable for the men that is - favorable for women).
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 You're moving from Orange County, CA to South Dakota?? Better get married first and bring your wife with you. Small cities and rural areas are terrible for dating. edit: Opps! You probably meant San Diego. But still, I've read that San Diego has an unfavorable ratio of single men over single women (unfavorable for the men that is - favorable for women). Maybe so, but even if the ratio is even in OC it hasn't helped me much at all. The people in SD are much less "materialistic" and care more about WHO you are than WHAT you are. The job I am being offered pays even better and after a year or so I can go anywhere in the world and make TONS of cash. So I'll stick it out for a year or two and then decide if I need to move somewhere to meet Ms Right. Funny because CA is a great place to live climate wise. Not really great for meeting a S/O, IMHO. No on South Dakota. Haha. Unless I wanted to be a hermit!
ls3360 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 thank you. you are so right. i probably am looking for guys in all the wrong places. im a little shy too and i like to be approached. but where do you find good guys?!?!?!? Hey guys. We're having so much fun talking about CaliGuy that we're overlooking Sweetie8 :-) How can we help her stop comparing guys to her vision of her old beau? And of course there is the question above.
Porn_Guy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 being "taken and miserable" gets old even faster, trust me...
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Hey guys. We're having so much fun talking about CaliGuy that we're overlooking Sweetie8 :-) How can we help her stop comparing guys to her vision of her old beau? And of course there is the question above. I'm just in a smiliar situation so I can relate. Like I said, stop looking and they will find you.
IWalkAlone Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I'm just in a smiliar situation so I can relate. Like I said, stop looking and they will find you. You say that a lot, but it never made sense to me. When I'm not looking, I tend stay home & watch DVDs, or I'm hanging out with the same crowd I've hung out with for years at one of their homes. I'm not doing new things with new people, or taking a risk by trying to get a phone number from some woman I see in the produce department. The same would be true for women. If you're not deliberately putting yourself places where you might find someone, or waving a cute strangers, it's less likely to happen.
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 You say that a lot, but it never made sense to me. When I'm not looking, I tend stay home & watch DVDs, or I'm hanging out with the same crowd I've hung out with for years at one of their homes. I'm not doing new things with new people, or taking a risk by trying to get a phone number from some woman I see in the produce department. The same would be true for women. If you're not deliberately putting yourself places where you might find someone, or waving a cute strangers, it's less likely to happen. I think the idea behind "stop looking" is to help you seem less desperate. Have you ever met someone that was obviously LOOKING for a partner? Didn't they come off clingy/needy/insecure? I've met girls like that in the past and it was a total turn off. It doesn't don't be open to saying HI to someone you might interested in, I think it means more or less "Don't come off as desperate."
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