Ran Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I just found out that my girlfriend of over 3 years (now fiance') cheated on me with a guy she had slept with once before in the past. Originally she cheated back in April or so and then didn't again for several months but did so twice more... I found a text in her phone that was pretty obvious she was trying to set it up again. When confronted she started crying and said she was sorry and she would never do it again. My problem is that I told her long ago if someone ever cheated I would be done and just walk away, however it doesn't seem to be that easy. My whole thought process tells me it will happen again, maybe not in the next few months but maybe a year down the road...But I still don't want to leave her. She really is a great girl and has never done anything to hurt me other than this (which is a pretty big deal I suppose) and is great with my 7 year old. I can say that when she first cheated in April we were kind of distant. I mean we saw each other every week but I didn't go to her apartment very often because I went to work then hung out with my kid. She was upset about it but we made it through (so I thought.) The last time they were together was over 2 months ago but the fact that she tried to initiate something in the past week infuriates me to no end.....WHAT DO I DO????
seibert253 Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 She's sorry she got caught, not sorry about she what she did. This is evidenced by her repeated affairs. I think you need to walk away, at least for awhile. If she truely love you, and wants only you, she will come back.
CaliGuy Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Dude, once a cheater, always a cheater. I'm sorry but you DO need to kick her to the curb, now.
guin_girl Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Even if she doesn't cheat on you again, although the odds are very slim, you won't be able to trust her. And that will drive both of you nuts... speaking from experience
D-Lish Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 You have to leave her. That's so wrong. As hard as it is to walk away- it would be far worse to marry a cheater. That won't change. I've walked away from anyone who has ever cheated on me- even though I loved them. It's just inexcusable behaviour.
KittenMoon Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 Dude, once a cheater, always a cheater. Once a cheater can be reformed, but twice.... three times? Always a cheater.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Sadly enough, I'm starting to believe the others. I thought my EX could stop her behaviour, and she wound up doing the same thing again only worse the second time. I am really leaning on "Once a cheater, always a cheater" as well. Cheers!
Woggle Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Why is she not your ex? People do change but they almost never change unless they learn the hard way. Your relationship with her is hopeless but if you wash your hands clean of her it might make a better woman for another man. She is sorry she was caught and if you let her get away with it she will do it again.
Cub Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I didn't bother to read any of the other posts besides the first one because there is no point. She has cheated on you not once when you two were distant but MULTIPLE times. Dood, it's over. Drop her like a bad habit before it gets any worse and you end up in waaaaay more pain then necessary. Yes, it's hard, you love her, but it is clear that you mean nothing to her. You can do a lot better than someone who is so quick to toss you aside because she has problems with commitment. Those are her problems, you've taken too much upon yourself and given too much of yourself. Just be thankful that you caught her before you two got married. Could have been a lot messier.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 If its hard to leave her then hold off the engagement plans until further more down the line when you can trust her. it will be very difficult to trust her now after what she has done to you, its not nice, you will always be wondering if she will do it again, it will hurt, you will have no trust for her. I think you would be better off leaving her. Best to do it now rather than getting married and then having to get a divorce.
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