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Beginning of new life

Kelso

By Kelso
in Coping

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Kelso Established Member

Kelso

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Hey there ... how is everyone feeling here today :)

 

I caught the flu somewhere and I've been lying in bed since Tuesday. It has given me a lot of time to think of my ex and my past relationship. It resulted in me having a dream about her this night, but unlike other dreams this one was nice to wake up from. The difference was that it was just like how the relationship was. She often was cold, preferred watching TV with her sister than taking a walk with me, never stood up against her sister when she was angry at me for staying at their place.

 

I am realizing more and more every day that I was probably lucky to get out of this relationship soon enough. It was no long-term material and this girl has some issues. Very close with her sister (they've lived together for 25 years). And I wasn't seeing any potential for me to change that and I definetly wasn't gonna compete for her attention anymore.

 

I'm transferring to a new university and will be starting the new one on Monday. Getting to know a lot of new people. All my best friends are single. I'm 40 pounds lighter than I was the same time last year and 60 pounds lighter than I was september 2005. I can run 10 miles without breaking a sweat. I used to be a fat guy - but my friends...female of course keep telling me what a catch I am. I can also see that I'm getting a lot of eyes when I go clubbing.

 

I guess my self esteem is quite low. Guess that is since the years when I used to be fat. Instead of wasting my energy on my ex, I should continue improving my self and wasting the energy on the people that really care for me.

 

Well ... I just needed to get this down in writing so I can read over it next time I feel down. Ahh...it feels so good to feel this way. Haven't felt this way in a loooong time :)

coco_milkshake Established Member

coco_milkshake

Posted
Posted

Yay!! Well done, it took me 3 months after my split to realise that as well. Go you!!

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

Posted
Posted
Hey there ... how is everyone feeling here today :)

 

I caught the flu somewhere and I've been lying in bed since Tuesday. It has given me a lot of time to think of my ex and my past relationship. It resulted in me having a dream about her this night, but unlike other dreams this one was nice to wake up from. The difference was that it was just like how the relationship was. She often was cold, preferred watching TV with her sister than taking a walk with me, never stood up against her sister when she was angry at me for staying at their place.

 

I am realizing more and more every day that I was probably lucky to get out of this relationship soon enough. It was no long-term material and this girl has some issues. Very close with her sister (they've lived together for 25 years). And I wasn't seeing any potential for me to change that and I definetly wasn't gonna compete for her attention anymore.

 

I'm transferring to a new university and will be starting the new one on Monday. Getting to know a lot of new people. All my best friends are single. I'm 40 pounds lighter than I was the same time last year and 60 pounds lighter than I was september 2005. I can run 10 miles without breaking a sweat. I used to be a fat guy - but my friends...female of course keep telling me what a catch I am. I can also see that I'm getting a lot of eyes when I go clubbing.

 

I guess my self esteem is quite low. Guess that is since the years when I used to be fat. Instead of wasting my energy on my ex, I should continue improving my self and wasting the energy on the people that really care for me.

 

Well ... I just needed to get this down in writing so I can read over it next time I feel down. Ahh...it feels so good to feel this way. Haven't felt this way in a loooong time :)

 

The way to build self esteem is to focus on the positives, such as losing weight. And the way to cope with losing someone in your life is to focus on their negatives.

 

You're doing everything the right way. And losing 60lbs is quite an accomplishment. You should be proud.

 

You're definitely on the right track with your train of thought. Keep it up, the right one is sure to come around.

climbergirl Established Member

climbergirl

Posted
Posted
The way to build self esteem is to focus on the positives, such as losing weight. And the way to cope with losing someone in your life is to focus on their negatives.

quote]

 

I agree completely! In fact, I'm starting to think that how much you improve yourself (physically/emotionally)after a break up goes to show how tapped out you were during the relationship-an epiphany on how much we neglect ourselves.

 

 

Kelso-Not only Yea! for you, but 10 miles without breaking a sweat--very impressive! You're going down a great road.....I'm happy for you.:)

 

(how long ago was the breakup?)

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Kelso Established Member

Kelso

Posted
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Posted

Well...maybe not without breaking a sweat...but actually not that much of a sweat :)

 

You just start by running 1 mile. Then you do it again...and again...and then you run 2 miles...and again and again........a year and a half go by ...... and then you run 9 miles and again and again...:)

 

The breakup was only 2,5 months ago ... and you can find a relapse post from me since yesterday somewhere around :) But I woke up in such a good mood that I had to put something down in writing for me to read next time when I feel down.

 

But seriously, I'm starting to see that it was for the best. I know I've imaginating her all happy and stuff like that. But I know that she's just living the live the same old usual way as before. A mutual friend has told me that. Although she was a great girl ... we probably weren't the best match ... and therefore we're both lucky that we broke up before it got any more serious...

coco_milkshake Established Member

coco_milkshake

Posted
Posted

Good for you. Its great that you are taking the time to focus on yourself and this exercise regime you have going is very impressive.

 

Just look after number one and someone will come into your life when you least expect it. In the meantime just enjoy the single life and focus on the things that make you happy.

 

I read your relapse thread and this is a great turnaround - Im happy for you :)

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Kelso Established Member

Kelso

Posted
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Posted

I was thinking. Is there anyone out there who knows about some computer programs that restricts your access to certain webpages??

 

Sometimes when I get home from work, I like to sit down and surf the net. I often feel tempted to click my ex's blog or myspace. I know I shouldn't be doing that.

 

For an example ... I clicked my ex's profile few mintues ago only to see that she's going to a birthday party tonight and a rock concert tomorrow night. I also saw that she has put me lower on her contact list on MySpace.

 

I know that information like that won't do me anything good while I'm trying to heal...so I guess that I'll be better off not knowing about it.

 

So I ask again...do you know about any programs that can restrict access to certain websites with a password or anything like that. I feel like crap now...but I shouldn't be feeling like crap...I only do because I found out about her plans.

 

We all know that blog and MySpace can be the devil for healing people...so if I can't limit my visits to there by myself....I'll gladly use any help I can :)

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