Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Hi everyone, Me and my last partner broke up in Mar 05, but we remained in close contact until earlier this year and I suppose I held out hope that we would get back together someday. When I realised she had moved on and that the relationship had no future, I tried my best to move on; going out, meeting new people, etc etc. I still think about her every day but I know that if I met someone else and started a serious relationship my feelings would diminish, as this has happened to me countless times in the past. Im just wondering if anyone else out there is the same? Is it "normal", or even "healthy", not to move on properly until you find someone else???
sunangel Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I don't know how healthy or unhealthy this situation is but...... the truth is we all don't really get over a person until that knew flame comes back into our hearts. Why did you two never get back together? If she doesn't feel the same for you than unfortunately she's not "THE ONE". Have faith! The person that's right for you is out there and when you least expect it she will appear.
Lostandfound Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 This is a very subjective thread, its down to the individual. We have all heard it, I never got over my first love, regardless of how many years ago it was. Once in life someone comes along and "IS THE ONE" I think they call it a Soulmate I am a firm believer in the fact that when you have met them you know, and whatever happens they will always have a soft spot in your heart. For me , I have had a few girlfriends before i was married and after my marriage broke down, but the one for me is my ex who has just broken it with me, not for the reasons that it is the most recent, and not for the reasons because at the moment I cant have her, But because I love her, and I believe I always will, regardless. She did things for me, and to me, that no woman has ever and will never do again.
miss snoopy Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Well so far in my life I've only gotten over people when I've met someone else. Maybe this is why I'm optimistic - once I meet someone and fall for them (hopefully "the one", this time) I'll completely move on from my recent ex and wonder what all the fuss was about.
guin_girl Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Im just wondering if anyone else out there is the same? Is it "normal", or even "healthy", not to move on properly until you find someone else??? I think that's how the "rebound" relationship was appropriately named.
Lostandfound Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I think that's how the "rebound" relationship was appropriately named. Splitting hairs I know, but every subsequent relationship after your first ever is a rebound relationship. Granted varying timescales have lapsed since the breakdown of the previous but still a rebound nevertheless
perspektiv Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I feel the same, and I don't know what exactly is "right". My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, and during that 2 months we were on and off. Basically we prolonged a break up for 2 extra months, and hurt each other badly. It sucked. I've been with other girls since, and at the moment I'm with them, the feeling is great. I feel over her. Then I realize that I don't want anything from those girls but the affection/sex/whatever I received, and that was only temporary. It takes alot for me to be drawn to someone enough to commit myself to them. I've only experienced it 3 times in my 30 yrs. My first LTR was 6 yrs and I still have thoughts about her. When I met my latest (ex) gf, we were at a wedding where my 2nd long term gf was with her new bf. It was that moment that I felt over my 2nd ex, and it was because this new girl sparked me. I've always been this way, so I know its just a matter of time before I find another. "The ones" don't come around often, and it is never really guaranteed to happen. I just have hope. In the meantime I'm just living the single life, meeting as many girls as possible. At least for now I am in order to keep my mind off of her. Its not really who I want to be, but I still have strong feelings for her and it helps diminish that...
Crazy for Crazy Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I'm the same way. I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half when I was 19-20. We broke up and it was tough for me, and we were off and on, with lots of drama for at least a year, maybe more. I was still "something" with her, although not really together, when I met my last gf. We were together for 3 and a half years, but even the first year of that I was torn (internally, and LD, not in any tangible way) between the two. Now I've just broken up with HER (after planning to marry this summer), and I feel like I'm still gonna hold a huge candle for her/wait for her emotionally until I meet the next. It's sad and it makes me feel pathetic, I have alot of great things going for me. But I'm coming to grips with the fact that I'm just happier in a relationship than I am alone and that I'd rather be with [insert whatever recent significant other] than just be by myself. I know I have to change that but...at least I'm recognizing my problem now.
crazy_grl Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I used to need to have another guy before I could get over the last one. I didn't really feel happy like that though. I felt dependent, like I was just looking for another person to replace the last one and I got attached to quickly. It was kind of like an addiction to a relationship high. I decided to break the relationship addiction and purposely stay single and celebate for 6 months. I feel healthier and saner now. I feel like my relationships will be healthier and last longer. I've just started seeing (not officially dating yet) someone new and so far it's the best relationship I've ever had. So, for me it wasn't healthy. But a lot has to do with how you go about finding that new other person. If you're making poor choices in partners that lead to unhealthy and unsuccessful relationships, then I think it's not healthy for you. If you're able to still use good judgement and have fulfilling relationships, then it might not be so bad for you.
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