HopelessinSC Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I wrote once before on this website and received some great advice, however, I did not follow it because I just hoped... Tonight my husband placed two large suitcases out the front door because I stopped by my neighbors for an hour. He said it was okay before and then started calling me every five minutes. He finally broke me down by telling me that he put my puppy outside in the front yard alone. I haven't done anything wrong. We have been married 11 years. I was at a friends house next door for 1 HOUR after I took the kids to swimming, etc. He was there first so I came down to say hi and then he went home to put the kids to bed (which is rare). I don't know what is wrong with him. He said if I leave him then he will turn everyone I know against me including family and kids. He obviously hates me and wants to make me unhappy but WHY???? Please help. He has gone to far and I don't know what to do. I have tried to deal with this for the kids but he is acting CRAZY and I'm a little bit frightened. Sometimes he is the most sane person in the world. Should I mention that he is drop dead gorgeous, charming, and loved by most everyone? He makes me think that I am crazy. Maybe I am. He is very controlling and lately he has hurt me so much that I am numb. He really can't push my buttons anymore and I think it is making things worse. My kids mean the world to me, they are 10 and 8, and they are very close to us both. They think the world of family time and family and I think leaving him will destoy them but he wants me a prisoner in my house. I work out of the home and do everything around the house. Not exaggerating.
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 u need to call someone immediately and don't take this all upon yerself. u must do what is best for u and yer children. don't let anyone influence yer decision if i was in that situation i would call a trusted friend and know they would come and get me
anna13 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 you have to be aware that this is not the worst that it can be , it can get worse and think of how your kids wiill feel or think when that happens. dont let the kids feelings determine what you willd ecide to do , you are the adult and the decision maker you know what is best. and about this he is really gorgeous thing , i dont see why that is even something that you are thinking of when it comes to staying with him . everyone loves him probobly because they dont know him very well . he put your suit cases in the front door for you because you were at your neighbors? he is trying to hurt you , he wants to see you plead to him , this is all EGO . the decision you make to divorse him or seperate from him should be made by what you think is best for you and the kids, iff he is acting this way obviosly it isnt good for the kids to see their mother emotionally abused. just think about that.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 What's his beef with the neighbors? Is your neighbor a guy? Maybe he's jealous. Is there a possibility that he's cheating on you? He seems pretty cold and unemotional towards you. Sometimes that's because they're giving their emotions to someone else. I'll tell you what... a man wouldn't have to put my suitcase out the door more than once. If it were me, I'd take my kids and go to my mother's house. Then I'd file legal separation on him for child support and custody. And if he gave me any lip about it, I'd get a restraining order. If you're not doing anything wrong that you can address or fix, than his actions are unreasonable. You can't "reason" with unreasonable people. Get in the driver's seat of YOUR life.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 What's his beef with the neighbors? Is your neighbor a guy? Maybe he's jealous. Is there a possibility that he's cheating on you? He seems pretty cold and unemotional towards you. Sometimes that's because they're giving their emotions to someone else. I'll tell you what... a man wouldn't have to put my suitcase out the door more than once. If it were me, I'd take my kids and go to my mother's house. Then I'd file legal separation on him for child support and custody. And if he gave me any lip about it, I'd get a restraining order. If you're not doing anything wrong that you can address or fix, than his actions are unreasonable. You can't "reason" with unreasonable people. Get in the driver's seat of YOUR life. Word!!!!! Great post LJ!
Gunny376 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 What's his beef with the neighbors? Is your neighbor a guy? Maybe he's jealous. Is there a possibility that he's cheating on you? He seems pretty cold and unemotional towards you. Sometimes that's because they're giving their emotions to someone else. I'll tell you what... a man wouldn't have to put my suitcase out the door more than once. If it were me, I'd take my kids and go to my mother's house. Then I'd file legal separation on him for child support and custody. And if he gave me any lip about it, I'd get a restraining order. If you're not doing anything wrong that you can address or fix, than his actions are unreasonable. You can't "reason" with unreasonable people. Get in the driver's seat of YOUR life. (Spitting tobacco juice, and wiping the corner of my mouth!) "BY GOD!" The absolute worse thing you can do to me is threaten me! I'll hand you your hat and toss you out on your ass everytime!
Touche Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Yes, what IS the problem about the neighbor? And if it were me, I'd tell him that if he has a problem with it HE can leave..there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out. Bullies usually back down. And he IS a bully from the sound of it. Do not let him get the upper-hand. Tell him to back off or get out...I'd bet he backs off. Just act strong, even if you are not feeling it. I'm sure you'll see a change in him.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 ....if it were me, I'd tell him that if he has a problem with it HE can leave..there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out. Normally, I'm right with you on that, Touche. But she said he's acting "crazy" and she's afraid of him. I think she needs to be in a safe place before she stands up to him. She needs to make sure she has temporary custody in place IMMEDIATELY too, so he can't grab the kids.
Touche Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Normally, I'm right with you on that, Touche. But she said he's acting "crazy" and she's afraid of him. I think she needs to be in a safe place before she stands up to him. She needs to make sure she has temporary custody in place IMMEDIATELY too, so he can't grab the kids. Well, if the situation is that volatile then yes, you're right. I didn't get that sense though, but maybe I read it wrong. Hopeless, I'm sure you will know how to proceed but whatever you do, don't just let it go or it will most likely get worse.
Gunny376 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 ToucheYes, what IS the problem about the neighbor? And if it were me, I'd tell him that if he has a problem with it HE can leave..there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out. Bullies usually back down. And he IS a bully from the sound of it. Do not let him get the upper-hand. Tell him to back off or get out...I'd bet he backs off. Just act strong, even if you are not feeling it. I'm sure you'll see a change in him. Ladyjane14Quote: Originally Posted by Touche ....if it were me, I'd tell him that if he has a problem with it HE can leave..there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out. Normally, I'm right with you on that, Touche. But she said he's acting "crazy" and she's afraid of him. I think she needs to be in a safe place before she stands up to him. She needs to make sure she has temporary custody in place IMMEDIATELY too, so he can't grab the kids. (Spitting tobacco juice, and wiping the corner of my mouth!) "BY GOD!" (I'm feeling exceptionally "red-neck" today~
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