Anyways Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I'm dating and meeting all sorts of different ppl. Some seem to have more future that others. The ones I seem might have a future with, I go on 2nd dates and more. There is this one guy that has really great potential but I am not that attracted to him. He's not ugly and he's not super cute. He has a lot of great qualities. I just don't feel any sparks when I'm around him and I want to but I don't think I'm going to feel it at all. I'm still giving it a chance and it seems like there might be a slight chance I can feel something...so I'm giving him more chances. I'm hanging out with him. I just don't want to lead him on. I think he's a great friend. The problem is that I seem to have a good amount of male friends that end up liking me and I don't want to feel uncomfortable. Did any of you end up falling in love with a guy you didn't at all think was your type? Did you end up loving a guy that was just good for you? You see my sister is in this situation. She is beautiful. Voted best looking in her HS Senior year of about 300 seniors. She's graduated college now. Well, she's with a guy that pursued her for so long. No one thought she would ever fall for him. After sometime, she did. They've been together for almost 2 years no. He is nowhere as attractive nor does he have much to offer. Ppl call them beauty and the beast and he knows it. However, he is very dedicated and good to my family and most of all...he makes her laugh like crazy, adores and respects her. She loves him with all his heart. She just wishes that he'd be more successful like her and not too playful. The same reason she fell for him is the same reason that drives her crazy and annoys her at times. So, did any of you end up having sparks with a someone that you didn't think you'd be crazy about?
Maria33 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Yes, it can happen. Sometimes people don't fit into that mold of what you think you are attracted to. I met this great guy, wasn't all that attracted to him, but he was so sweet. As I got to know him, I noticed things that I was really attracted to. He has sexy eyes and a nice smile. He is very affectionate, which I love! He is so funny and makes me laugh all the time. I definately feel the sparks now when he's around! Good luck, don't write him off too soon, he could just be perfect for you after all.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Compatability more than anything is probably the best indicator of future love. I believe you can fall for someone as your describing, but only time will tell. I say if you are very compatible, then go for it and see what happens later. Just make sure you don't promise something that you will regret later. In other words, don't just settle for someone if there is a little voice inside that has any doubt. When you have found someone you can have an LTR/Marriage with, you will know it. Regards!
GreenEyedLady Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I think you're going to have to find this one out for yourself... I dated this guy who was cute, but who I was not really attracted to...but he was nice and had a lot going for him...the sex was awful, though...I thought it would get better with time, but it didn't...eventually I broke up with him because he turned out to be not that nice and I wasn't attracted to him...So now my rule is I don't go out with someone more than twice if I'm not attracted to him... Attraction is there or it isn't...but how important is attraction to you? It may not be as important as other qualities to YOU...
guin_girl Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I started dating a guy that I wasn't all that attracted to, but both of our groups of friends thought that we were good match. Once I started looking on the inside instead of the outside, I realized that they were right. And overtime, he became more and more attractive to me, and I fell head over heels. Unfortunately, the inside became very ugly, but that's a whole nother issue that had nothing to do with your original query.
Arianna72 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Maria33 has written my situation to a T... I had been friends with the guy I am seeing for years and years and never really thought of him as someone I would be that into. Then a friend talked me into going out on a date with him. It has only been a couple months but suddenly I find myself quite attracted to him. He is just such a great guy.
sb129 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 The more you get to know someone the more beautiful (or ugly) they can become! My BF is the most attractive man in the world to me- because he is just such an amazing guy. We met online and had a few dates where there was no physical contact. But because we got on so well by the time we eventually slept together it was dynamite! My ex BF is 'conventionally' more "good looking" than my new man, but to me he is unattractive because he turned out to be not a very nice person.
jusified Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I think physical attraction matters some what but not all that much. Sometimes when you first meet them tey are just ok looking, but ones you see how some is in the inside and how they treat you, you will grow tolove and be more attracted to them. Sometimes people just don't give a great person a chance because of their looks or because they have give others a chance and didn't work out.
Kinger25 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I think that there needs to be Some spark there in the beginning if you want to pursue a relationship with someone. If you just want to have a bit of fun and meet new people without necessarily sleeping with them then the attraction isn't so important. Having said that, When I met my current BF, I saw him around the farm that I kept my horses on. He was working for the farmer fixing tractors and stuff. I thought he was a nice enough guy but it never entered my mind that I would end up being with him. (I was at the time with my Ex BF and had been for 8 years) and I NEVER thought ANYONE would be able to pull me away from my Ex. He started talking to me every time I went down there and one night I went home after talking to him for about an hour and I had all these butterflies in my stomach. I could NOT work out where they were coming from but I knew it wasn't from my Ex. Went back down to the farm the next day and saw him again. Thought to myself, "NO ! DEFINITELY NOT MY TYPE" but I kept on chatting to him throughout the day thinking that we would make quite good friends. Weeks went past and I didn't fancy him at all. One night I went into his place for a drink and he we talked and I kept looking at him thinking " YOU ARE GORGEOUS" Anyway to cut a long story short, I stayed with him that night and have never left since !!! I now think that he is the most sexiest gorgeous man to ever walk the earth !!! Guess what I am saying is that maybe you need to give this guy a chance. You NEVER know how things will develop. If there is NO spark there then maybe forget about it, but there must be SOMETHING there for you to write about him on here. Talk to him, find out what he's about and you might find that your opinion of him changes quite dramatically. If not, then you have lost nothing. Good Luck
Walk Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 When I met my exh I wasn't attracted to him at all. He was a good guy though, and over time I fell really deeply in love with him. It ended a few years ago because we'd both changed so greatly over the decade we were together. We weren't very compatible anymore, wanted different things in life, and I wasn't attracted to his ideals and values anymore. When I met my current bf I had no attraction to him. I find it really hard to be attracted to a person I don't know. No matter how good looking they are, or what physical features they have, I just don't feel those butterfly feelings until I get to know the person behind the face. Now though... wow. Sparks fly! Its been 3 years and I still get that excited feeling when he's around. It's the coolest thing. I've never had that happen before. Usually if I'm with someone longer than a year it settles into that "roommate" feeling... but this guy.. I still can't lay next to him without getting excited. But I'll be honest with you, I really was not attracted to him when we first met. I have a really hard time finding someone attractive without knowing the inner person. I see good looking guys, but I can't get past the fact that it's just a shell that looks good. I have no idea what type of person is on the inside of that pretty face, so I don't feel any desire just for the skin. What attracts me is the strength of their personality, their ideals, values, thought processes. Here's an example.. In one of my classes, this unattractive guy was in my group. Fat guy with no neck.. But he had a drop dead gorgeous personality. I thought he was the bomb, and if I weren't so madly in love with my bf.. well, I am, so it doesn't matter. But that guy had such a great personality and awesome sense of humor. Very attractive in my opinion. However, I know women pass him over based solely on his looks. makes me sad. Sometimes wish I could just snap my fingers and make someone look as good on the outside as they do on the inside. (Ever see that movie Shallow Hal?) I just don't understand why people would allow the formation of tissue to dictate what makes a good partner. The personality though... that is something the person had to work for, something they control, and can improve on.. tissue is just tissue. It decays with time.
Guest Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Yeah it's true.I'm going out with my current boyf well over 3 years and initially he was the last person in the world I would have said I'd go out with.Kept thinking to myself he was just a friend adn never could be anything else.Then all of a sudden he was,and still is.He was always there for me, even when i didn't ask him to be, he loved me and respected me (and still does) and he always knows what to say or do if i feel bad. I can talk to him about anything.He's not the world's best looking guy, but I'm also not someone who feels even remotely attracted to good looking people.I can admit they are good looking but I've got to get to know them before I could even consider going out with them or anything long term.I'm solely interested in personality.Don't know why or how, but it's just how it is.so give him...and yourself-a chance.it won't happen overnight, or even in a few weeks.
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