shiver Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 hi evri1, im inlove with my friend. he has now moved to another country and is unsure of his future but more importantly , does not want to share any part of his future with me. we connected at a very deep emotional level whilst he was here, never physical. he tried to kiss me a couple of times but i was too nervous. we spent almost all our time together.i told him how i felt a year after he left. we had been constantly communicating. He said he was shocked and nevr thought of us as more than friends and didnt feel the same way. he then asked me to spend chrisstmas with him and his family. i refused as it would have been unfair for me to fly all that way to pretend to be his friend. he said he understood andthat maybe we should cut contact until i feel better/ get over him,i agreed. he contacted me 2 weeks later inquiring if things were okay and stated that he would have really liked to spend christmas with me. I dont know what he wants from me and these mixed messages are confusing and hurtful. he's undecisive i know. i know i deserve a man that will chase after me and know its me he wants etc etc, now how do i stop loving this guy wo has mean so much to me for 4 years but has neva asked me out???
CaliGuy Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Make a list of all the mean things he did to you. List all his negative qualities. Keep the list in your purse and whenever you start thinking about him, pull the list out and use it to remind you that he was not good to you and not worth your time worrying over. We often place people on a pedestal when they have no right to be there. He wasn't special to you or treated you like he loved you. Remind yourself that he wasn't into you. Instead of worrying over people who don't want to be with you, why not focus your time on those who do? Cheers.
Author shiver Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 wow thank you soo much. you've just made me smile after quite some time. ill definitely take your advice.
Yamaha Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 This is good advice. Many times you think of the good things they did and you miss them but to get over them you need to think of the way they hurt you and that they are not this wonderful person who just can't seem to feel that way about you. You need to believe in yourself and that you just haven't met that special person that will feel the same way you do. I would continue to stay away from him until you believe he is not such a great catch.
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