Rose_22 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I have been hanging out with my ex. Together 6 years, apart a couple months with no contact, and now agreed to be friends. We have been having the best time together, nothing sexual, just really sweet! Although we were both starting to act like silly kids starting to fall in love all over again. Giggly, starry eyed…. Well yesterday I wasn’t feeling well. He surprised me on his hour break by stopping over my house. He gave me a little massage to help me feel better. Well one thing led to another, I don’t know how I let this happen, but we had sex. Well I think I know how I let it happen. I was on pretty strong pain meds that day. The meds put me in a pretty high mood and I guess it can really fog your mind. All in all my love and emotions for him. Yeah… I feel like an idiot and that’s probably an awful excuse. Right after it happened, we looked at the clock and he had to go back to work. I felt like a pile of cold mud. I ruined this huh? He has probably lost respect for me. He most likely doesn’t think of me as something he has to work for to get back. I wasn’t feeling well at all, was in a lot of pain and was on medicine, didn’t feel sexy since I had been lying in bed for the past day… so the sex wasn’t exactly what I have been dreaming about. What a mess! How can I handle this? He hurt me in the past and really doesn’t want to hurt me ever again. So I know if I get upset and tell him I regret it, it was a mistake, blah blah, I’m afraid I’ll loose him. I also don’t want him to think this is something he can expect from now on. I’m not into the FWB thing. I hope that made sense. My mind is scrambled right now. I want to go back to what we were developing before this happened. A close friendship that was becoming more, full of giggles, starry eyed, and butterflies whenever we hung out the past few weeks. He hasn’t called since it happened which isn’t like him at all, so I know he has things running through his mind as well. Did this ruin us getting back together? What do I say to him if anything? Is it something we can just laugh off? I’d like to just move on… I wonder what he is thinking. How to handle this? I have so many questions, I apologize for rambling. Please help!
Guest Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I truly believe that the only real way that exes can be friends is if neither of them have any feelings or expectations towards each other. This includes being happy for them if they have found someone else. If feelings are still there for one party then you just can't be friends. My brother is a great looking guy and nice to boot. Whenever he breaks up with a girl they always still want to be friends. My brother still doesn't get it when the girls end up getting frustrated when nothing happens between them. All he understands is that they had agreed to be friends and their expectations come out of nowhere. The only way that you can have any relationship with him at this point is to have a discussion as to where your relationship is going to go from here. I don't think that you would be able to handle it if he said that he saw you just as a friend, never saw himself marrying you and began dating others. Would you still want to be his friend then? Would you go to his wedding if you were invited? I think that your big mistake was to agree to be friends with him in the first place with the intent of using this to get him back.
chryssy83 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Instead of focusing on his reaction to the sex, think about yours. It made you feel bad, right? Insecure? Taken advantage of? I would avoid that kind of thing for you, whether it changes his behavior or not.
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