FolkDeath Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Well here goes. I'll start from the top, back in October, my boyfriend and I were on the telephone and he said he doesn't know if the relationship is going to work out anymore and we've been together for 4 years, since he was 15 and I was 16 and he said he's worried that he'll reach the stage were he wants someone else, because I've been his first and only partner but... by the end of the call he had said he was sorry and didn't mean it, the next day we met up and he gave me a letter telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was. He always seemed more into the relationship than me, buynig me random gifts, writing me lovely wee poems in cards and telling me how much he loved me nightly. Then, on boxing day (oh yes the timing) he said "The spark has went" and broke up with me. He told me that he didn't love me anymore and that's been the last time we spoke, but I felt like we were happy, the spark was still there and things were fine, I feel so foolish and wrong. It's rather bad, he has a profile on the internet and everytime I see a new picture of him I break down in tears and anytime I see another girl even talk to him, im a mess. He told me like a month before in casual conversation that his sex drive had went, he can't sleep and is depressed. Now I don't want to get my hopes up, but is there a slight chance he split up with me because he's depressed? It's a shot in the dark, but I can only hope. If anyone has any advice to help me i'd really appreciate it.
Lostandfound Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Well hif he is depressed, it is for a reason. When anyone is depressed, they go either one of 2 ways, they either want companionship or they dont, my guesss is he just wants to be left alone. But that is if the depression is the reason for the break up, I would leave things for a while to see if he gets in touch, no contacting him for anything, If he truly loves you he will come back, when he realises what life is like without you, if he doesnt then im sure that answers the question. Pleading with him and probing certainly is not the answer, it will send him into a more clammed up attitude. Hope this helps, and good luck
Author FolkDeath Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 Thanks very much for that reply, I thought that, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I tried to be there for him during this, but it felt like something was wrong still, it's just i'm falling apart and he seems to be fine, which makes it hurt more. It's hard to resist getting in contact with him, but I know it's for the best if I let him make this choice. I've had depression when I was with him and I wanted his love and attention so I assumed he wanted the same when hes going through it.
Lostandfound Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Thas the danger assuming in any realtionship, I have always said communication is key, some people like physcial contact when there ill, some like to be left alone, so always assuming can often be dangerous. As long as he knows how you feel, and you leave him be, if his feelings for you differ you will be the first to know , believe me
Author FolkDeath Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 Well..I can't tell him how I feel, he'll think I'm trying to guilt him into getting back with me, but I'm sure he has some idea on how I feel. My friend's help wasn't really good, all she said was, we got together so young that it couldn't last
Lostandfound Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 You say you think he knows how you feel, This may serve to be a problem, if he is unsure how you feel. If he is sure of your feelings then you can do no more, but if he isnt, it may be too late to tell him.
Author FolkDeath Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 He certainly knows how I feel, it's just when he suggested the break up, i'm sick of crying and then feeling like he's only with me because I got upset. I think it's just because no other girl has showed a interest in him until now...I guess he's gone to see if the grass is greener on the other side. I love him so much that I can't even hate him for this.
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