kdutton66 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 me and my gf have been going out about 3 months now, and we've done our bit of everything but sex. now i have strong feelings for her and i want to say i love her someitmes but i have the urge to stop cuz it might be too early and might make her uncomfortable, i always comment on how beautiful and sexy she is. well twice now we have tried to have sex ( dont laugh) and becuz it is my first time i am very nervous. the first time was in her car but i couldnt get it up, today i did for a bit, however was nervous again and could not keep it up. this is really embarassing for me and i feel sorry for her, can someone help me get over my mind games. AND how long should i wait before i say i lov her
Guest Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 There is no right or wrong time to say 'I love you' you have to do it when the time feels right to you. I know that's tough, but think about those classic things - how would you feel if she wasn't in your life? What has changed about you since she came into your life? Can you imagine not talking to her/seeing her/being with her... etc (if your answers to these things are... eek I'd be lost without her, heart broken, really upset, miss her terribly, I just like hearing her voice.... then you my friend are in love) And it's not a bad thing to let someone know how you feel about them (although it means you have to be vulnerable and that's scary). It terms of sex.. maybe take a step back a bit, slow things down so you don't feel so nervous. What's the rush, you have all the time in the world. Cars are not a very good place - not particularly romantic, always a bit pressured in case someone comes by, it's uncomfortable etc etc. Why not organise somewhere where you can be alone together (ie romantic hotel, lovely dinner etc) for a number of hours or the whole night and take things slowly, get to know each other and I'm sure things will work out fine. Just give yourself time and if she feels the same way about you she wont care how long it takes as long as you are comfortable (ie you're the person she wants to be with and cares about, everything else is irrelevant)
Author kdutton66 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 thanks for tthe last post it really helped a lot, its just that im scared to say it cuz whenever i compliment her she juswt laughs and smiles, and i think she would do the same if itold her i loved her
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 kdutton I'm not sure how old you are but when i was younger I wasn't very good at accepting compliments.. if a guy said 'you look great' I'd say 'no I don't' or just go really shy. It took me a while to be comfortable with myself and learn to accept compliments. Now when someone says you look great I say thanks! So that may be part of it. Yep I know you're scare but you'll never know how she feels about you if you don't take the plunge. You could test the waters by saying things like 'I think I'm falling for you' or 'gee I've never felt like this before'.. 'I really love being around you do you feel that way?', 'my heart flutters each time I see you, I get butterflies do you get them?' etc. If she is feeling the same things she might reciporcate with similar sentiments... if someone says 'I'm falling for you' and that's not what I'm feeling or looking for, then it is pretty much a sign to me to step back, that he's getting in way too far and we want different things. If however I think he's the most wonderful thing since sliced bread I will return feelings by saying things like 'yes I get butterflies and I get nervous around you' etc. If she is shy and not much of a talker (or confident about talking about her feelings) ie you say 'I really really like you and think I'm falling for you' and all she does is smile you could say 'I really need to know how you feel about me, can you tell me, I want to know how you feel.' If you get green lights on these things, ie she says I think your wonderful then I think you can pretty much tell her that you love her and it will go down well. Good luck! Remember not to rush anything, especially if its your first time/serious relationship and you love this girl so make everything as special as you can!
Author kdutton66 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 all of these are great help! thanks
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 love to me is when a woman spends 7 months asking u questions about every single possible thing in the world and in her questions u notice that she picks up every detail and nunace and it makes u smile and relationship have ebbs and flows - if they dip into the unhealthy zone - you do the repair work and move on - its about the person really when u know they are the ONE u just go with the flow
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