paris38 Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I think you will tolerate this behavior by staying with her, but there will be a point where you say "I am unhappy with how she treats me. How long do I want to be unhappy?" and break off with her. It's apparent she refuses to change. I can imagine when you try to break up with her at some point, she probably will try to have control over that, too, and tell you you're not actually broken up or something.
IpAncA Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I think you will tolerate this behavior by staying with her, but there will be a point where you say "I am unhappy with how she treats me. How long do I want to be unhappy?" and break off with her. It's apparent she refuses to change. I can imagine when you try to break up with her at some point, she probably will try to have control over that, too, and tell you you're not actually broken up or something. I agree. To OP: You can't change this girl because she is a controlling person. It's best to get out and learn how to not let this happen again because there is someone else out there who won't pull this sort of crap with their guy.
Author finaljive Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 So its agreed on that she will never change. but is it possible that after awhile...like 3 years from now or even longer, shes finally gonna come around, but not change and meet me half way?. today we hung out and i took charge a little bit. she hates ice skating but i like it, but i took her iceskating. i didnt tell her where we were going but instead i told her it was a surprise, and she enjoyed it eventho she hates iceskating and being cold. but i dont like that, i dont want to have to surprise her everytime i want to do sumthing that i enjoy. u may think that shes the devil, eventho wen she gets mad two red dots appear on her forehead..lol..its cute, but besides the point. i do feel like giving up sumtimes and i feel un-happy, but then i remind myself y im with her. she needs me, she rele does. she barely cries ( we watched the Notebook and she didnt cry) but i noe she feels hurt. i do try to talk to her and tell her that we have a communication problem but she said that, that is the way she is and I know that. and its true i do noe that. and now i realize that she is very high maintance and i find myself broke at times. for example, she likes food but loves sushi (expensive) she likes flowers but loves sunflowers (very expensive especially out of season) ofcourse she loves clothes and shoes but only wears stuff from BCBG, Seven, and Coach. she buys herself everything but i want to get her stuff aswell. and all that shyt is expensive. i try and buy her stuff that doesnt cost much, and she loves them and appreciates them, so she wears them for awhile and then replaces them, she thinks i dont notice but i do. she doesnt complain about that tho. over the summer she likes going to the beaches and loves eating out and seeing new sites so i got a second job, i workd construction on the weekends and deliverd flowers on the weekdays, and that was the only time she was truly happy and never complained. we never fought. i cant do that and go to school...and i dont want to fite about money, not when im 18..i dont even care about it. and when i ask her if its about money she says no, and says that its was nice to see me with a "real job" and working hard...im getting a lil depressed lol but i love making her happy cuz when she smiles its all worth it....soo how do i get her to meet he half way? without gettin confrontational?
Zaira Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I think you're with the wrong girl. She's a control freak, and she doesn't even appreciate the nice things you do for her. She needs you??? What for?? Because she needs to control something? Hmmmm Warning bells are ringing loud here. I think you either need to confront her and tell her you are not happy AND WHY, or find someone who deserves you.
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 So its agreed on that she will never change. but is it possible that after awhile...like 3 years from now or even longer, shes finally gonna come around, but not change and meet me half way?. Umm maybe. Are you sure in three years you couldn't find someone better for you? today we hung out and i took charge a little bit. she hates ice skating but i like it, but i took her iceskating. i didnt tell her where we were going but instead i told her it was a surprise, and she enjoyed it eventho she hates iceskating and being cold. but i dont like that, i dont want to have to surprise her everytime i want to do sumthing that i enjoy. u may think that shes the devil, eventho wen she gets mad two red dots appear on her forehead..lol..its cute, but besides the point. Two red dots could just be PMS. It's when she sprouts two red horns you need to look the frick out! Then again, a woman having a bad PMS day probably isn't that far off from the Devil anyway. Never mind. Please continue. i do feel like giving up sumtimes and i feel un-happy, Then you need to get out of the relationship and square yourself up (read the books Alpha and I suggested to you.) but then i remind myself y im with her. she needs me, she rele does. Uhh, no she doesn't. Just like you don't need her. Needing in a relationship is a very bad thing. It's called "co dependence" (look it up). You think you need to "fix" her and brother, in the end you are going to get your heart shattered in a million pieces when she finally fixes herself and decides she doesn't need you anymore. Read the book I mentioned. Have you read it yet? You really do need to read it ASAP. It addresses this issue with some prime examples. Trust me, you'll learn a ton about your behavior and why being with this "girl" is bad for you. she barely cries ( we watched the Notebook and she didnt cry) but i noe she feels hurt. i do try to talk to her and tell her that we have a communication problem but she said that, that is the way she is and I know that. and its true i do noe that. and now i realize that she is very high maintance and i find myself broke at times. How old are you again and do you "really" want to deal with this "till death do you part?" Repeat after me: "hellz naw!" for example, she likes food but loves sushi (expensive) she likes flowers but loves sunflowers (very expensive especially out of season) ofcourse she loves clothes and shoes but only wears stuff from BCBG, Seven, and Coach. she buys herself everything but i want to get her stuff aswell. and all that shyt is expensive. i try and buy her stuff that doesnt cost much, and she loves them and appreciates them, so she wears them for awhile and then replaces them, she thinks i dont notice but i do. she doesnt complain about that tho. over the summer she likes going to the beaches and loves eating out and seeing new sites so i got a second job, i workd construction on the weekends and deliverd flowers on the weekdays, and that was the only time she was truly happy and never complained. we never fought. i cant do that and go to school... I'm still trying to figure out why you are with her. She does need you, in the sense that she needs your money and lavishing attention on her. She doesn't appreciate you and that's the biggest thing. Maybe she never will. You won't find out though unless you break up with her and spend a good 3-6 months apart with little to no contact. I'm willing to bet the farm she hooks up with another sucke...err guy that will lavish her expensive taste. Sorry to be blunt bro, but this is what it sounds like to me. Are you sure you wouldn't mind buying me sushi and clothes? I mean, I'll treat you the same way (no sex or affection of course), b*tch at ya and make you bring stuff to my work and pamper me. It'd be about the same, no? and i dont want to fite about money, not when im 18..i dont even care about it. and when i ask her if its about money she says no, and says that its was nice to see me with a "real job" and working hard... And what does "Miss Prissy" do for a living? You need to get your arse in school. You don't need a g/f at your age, especially not one like this. School is more important. If you end up geting her pregnant, say goodbye to your dreams of an education and a great paying job that you could later use to really take good care of a wife and kids. im getting a lil depressed lol but i love making her happy cuz when she smiles its all worth it.... Please tell me there's more to your life than making her happy. Please. soo how do i get her to meet he half way? without gettin confrontational? She may never. You'll find out when you dump her. And you're going to dump her, right? RIGHT?!
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